Hit me with some hard truth

[Newmama93]

herviewfromhome.com/motherhood-son-growing-up-slowest-breakup/

this article has me really depressed and feeling so miserable for a while now. Is this what it’s really like? I was so unprepared for the pain of this.

@BoredZelda Yes. That's why I spoke generally. I don't doubt that somewhere out there there's a woman with 5 sons who are all married but visit her every day and do her shopping, pay her bills and drive her to her reading club

My DS is a man now.
Don't worry, ALL DC, wether male or female have to grow up and cut the apron strings.
Every child is different.
If you have a good relationship with your DS now, there is no reason at all why that should stop.
He will of course, as is natural, pull away from you in his teens..I did find that hard, but one comes out the other side.
Don't ''Cling''.
That is the worst thing you can do, although it is hard, especially if it is just the two of you in a household, say after a divorce.

Really, please don't worry.🙂 Just take it day by day.

OP these articles are written for money.
In a years time the same journalist could write the exact opposite if she was asked imo.
I am a cynic and 80% of such articles make me even more cynical.

Btw my ds is 37 and I am as close to him now as when he was a small dc, however I live 500 miles away and he has a wife and dc.
The most magical moment for me was the privilege of sitting in on his dw’s 20 week scan. I was amazed and grateful to be asked and seeing ds’s face when he saw his baby on a scan was wonderful. More wonderful than first steps or words or being up all night when he had colic.
The circle of life is truly amazing.

I have 3 sons. Oldest is 4, my middle son is dead and would be 2 in July, my youngest is 3 months. I'd give any thing to see my middle son get to grow up and have a life, instead he is ash in a brass urn in a memory bear, the only way I can hold him. My aim is to raise happy boys who will become happy, healthy independent men. I have loved each stage so far with my 4 year old, it's great to see him explore the world and learn. I'm sure my boys will still want to see me and speak to me when they are grown. You love your son as a baby op but you will also love him as a toddler, a child, a teen and as a man. Lots of boys and men are close to their mothers but becoming independent is what you should want for your child.

Yes. That's why I spoke generally.

Your “generally” cited only your situation. That isn’t speaking generally. You can’t generalise about the relationships of individuals which will come with a whole load of different circumstances.

It's a load of utter tosh honestly if it affects you so much you need a break from the Internet. Kids grow, boys and girls, they no longer need us in the way they did as babies, then as toddlers, as young kids and then teenagers. Focus on the here and now with your boy and don't put too much emphasis on the future that haven't even come to past. Some boys will grow in and be distant with their parents as will girls, their responsibilities shift as they have partners and children, totally normal. Some kids will stay close to their parents even as adults, they'll make effort. You won't know which category your son is in till he gets there so why worry now?

*come to pass even

Just take loads of pics.
You have YEARS to go yet before your son leaves home.

Heck, our Whippet is just over a year old,
I was looking back at pics of her as she was, as a blunt-faced little stubby baby {When I first saw her}, and now my little ''Puppy'' is having her first Season, {Before being spayed} and is officially a ''Teenager'', all long nose and long limbs.

Just enjoy the baby years if that 's what you enjoy the most.
I prefer older children, 7 is a gorgeous age.

Boys at 15 can be lovely, too.

But every age has good and bad parts.

This reminds me of a very lovely older mother I met as a teenager, she was ''changing'' her son's pads, he was very small, His mum said ''You'd never guess he was Eighteen, would you?''.

Her son was profoundly disabled, and will be forever a ''Baby''.
She said the only advantage to his disability was that she could still physically lift him.
She worried about who would care for him when she died.

Be grateful that you have a healthy son..and enjoy his growing up.

It's sentimental nonsense - your kids change as they grow, of course they do, and it's lovely at every step (admittedly, mine are only just at the cusp of grumpy teenage-hood)

I get all soppy looking at pictures of mine when they were younger, I get good-naturedly told off for sitting there in the audience of school plays with a massive grin on my face (not so) subtly giving them the thumbs up, I get hugs goodmorning and goodnight (doubt that'll change actually, a bit like cats, my kids come and drape themselves over me if they catch me sitting down anywhere).

I'm looking forward to seeing the men they become, even though that means I won't see them as much.

@BoredZelda You're right. Forgive me. I have seen the error of my ways and will get in touch with MN immediately to see if they can delete my very misguided and very incorrect posts.

@VladmirsPoutine

Excellent. That sounds like the most sensible course of action.

😂

As everyone else is saying- total bollocks and quite egotistical. I’ve got two boys and the youngest is 18. I love them dearly but am ready for them to bugger off so we can move on to the next phase. Occasionally I get nostalgic about the past - who doesn’t? But this is utter drivel.

@BoredZelda POST DELETED FOR BREAKING TALK GUIDELINES FOR THOSE WHO LACK COMPREHENSION

I love my children and have enjoyed every age, but as they launch themselves into the world it is great to have more time to think about what I want to do with the rest of my life! There's more to me than being a mother, in the long run, my kids will spend much more of their lives living away from us than with us, so don't lose sight of your value as a person beyond being a parent.

It could be worse, I will have nothing to worry about if my son is able to take care of himself and be independent instead of thinking about how am I going to support him the rest of my life.

@VladmirsPoutine

Glad to see some self censorship at last.

Absolutely this. Stop reading such twaddle.

Well the alternative to them growing up is not one I'd wish on anyone.

This is one the the OP will be adding to the “embarrassing things I said and did when I had A PFB”

OP love your baby and enjoy how you two feel right now.
Keep doing the above as both of you grow older.

To everything there is a season.

Every age your child grows through has its own wonders.
When the time comes for independence - nature will have you ready for it.

@BoredZelda If you wanted some of the merch or an autograph all you had to do was ask. I'd have obliged.

I cry as I hold my son

why? Why do you cry when you hold your son? Are you alright OP? As the mother of a now 2 year old and 6 year old - I don’t think I ever cried as I held them.

what else do you have going on in your life outside of being mother? Career? Interests? Hobbies? Passions? Friendship groups and social plans?

My friend lost her son as a toddler. She would have given anything to see him grow up. This sort of article is a kick in the teeth for parents in her position.

All of this!
When your child morphs into a smelly, grumpy teen you’ll want a break trust me 😂