Hit me with some hard truth

[Newmama93]

herviewfromhome.com/motherhood-son-growing-up-slowest-breakup/

this article has me really depressed and feeling so miserable for a while now. Is this what it’s really like? I was so unprepared for the pain of this.

What a weird article. Who compares a parent-child relationship, where one nurtures another person into reaching their potential, to a sexual relationship ending?

Of course parent miss their children as they grow up. I think the best line I read on the subject is that having children is like having your heart walk around outside of you.

But I have a great relationship to my parents, and so has my OH, no break up material there...

^^ this
what a load of sentimental shite

Nonsense. If you really want a hard truth perspective, our first son was stillborn at term and will never grow up. I now have 3 wonderful children, one on the verge of being a teenager and delight in seeing them growing up and gaining independence. I never feel sad at the passing years.

What a load of crap. Someone actually got paid to write that. Maybe it's their experience but they don't get to speak for all of us. My son is 23, I've loved every second of watching him grow up. It's normal to miss certain stages of their childhood the older they get - the same applies to my girls - but when you see what wonderful people they're turning into and you realise there's a ton more 'firsts' to share with them, you get a grip. The only heartbreak I've felt now he's older is when he's hurting and a mummy hug and an episode of Power Rangers won't fix it anymore.

We've had more than the usual number of threads on this subject recently (sons abandoning their mothers at adulthood). I suspect the writer of that article used Mumsnet to do her "research" and has then served the content back to us via that handy link in the OP.

I understand to a degree - my 6 month old is adorable and growing so fast sometimes it takes me by surprise and I fear I haven’t been ‘present’ enough. But, and I don’t say this to be harsh, this is self pitying drivel. My brother died as a teen and it left us all devastated. Focus your energies on preparing them for life and enjoying seeing them grow instead because it’s a blessing you don’t realise you have until it’s gone.

My son is now 13. This is a load of shit. THe point of parenting is for them to grow up and become independent. And why is so much of this crap written about boys? What is that about?

This article is a bit disturbing. Honestly, you need to read my post about my DS from January. The situation is still no better, in fact it's deteriorated and I'm ready to launch him from the end of my boot. Right now, I can't bloody wait until he leaves. Love/hate relationship.

Wtf is that shite?

Parenting is hard work at times. My son has additional needs which can make some aspects harder. But if your heart breaks watching your child grow up your thinking is messed up. I get feeling wistful sometimes- I occasionally find the baby boxes that have my children’s hospital ID bracelets, first baby gros, favourite rattles and I go “aww! To think x was that teeny once!” And of course the countless photo albums. But the older my kids have got, the more fun we have together. Sure, there’s still challenges but I don’t miss the days of tantrums that seemed to last forever because the banana they were eating broke, the colic, the sudacream mashed into the carpet and kissing goodbye to the rental deposit.

Its an odd feeling, your children growing up. Its such a changing relationship, always in flux. Im finding one of my teenagers quite challenging at the moment and sometimes I do feel sad that theyre not the smiling loving little angel that melted everyones heart, but a surly teen that shouts at the computer and moans about wifi and thinks their offensive humour is edgy.
Mostly im really enjoying them getting older and the transition to a more grown up relationship, but sometimes its hard

In the nicest possible way, you are in the rush of baby hormones right now. When DD was that age I regularly used to cry at the pathos of the back of her tiny baby neck 🤣

By the time he’s 3, let alone 15, you’ll be desperate for some space and time apart for you!

And maybe try listening to some calming music instead of reading that article 😀

Exactly. I see it as my job as my kids mum to raise them to be good people and teach them to do stuff for themselves. That role is the same for my son as it is for my daughter.

What a load of sentimental claptrap. Ignore it. Just enjoy your child and your constantly evolving relationship with him.

It is not like this. At all.

Funny, I look at pictures of my children when they were younger and think, "oh, cute" but I never ever think "I wish I still had them like that" because they just get better and more interesting and more fun as they get older. That toddler was adorable, sure, but we couldn't watch a netflix movie that we both enjoyed and I didn't get to watch him getting better and better at his chosen sport.

A clear indicator that a new "mum acquaintance" is unlikely to turn into a lifelong friend is if she comes out with any of this sort of drivel.

Surely it should be the opposite, as they grow, need you less and become independent you are proud of the adults they become and the job you did raising them. Children aren't possessions they are people.
She is going to be the MIL from hell

Self absorbed nonsense is what Mia Freedman does best….

I remember thinking when I read it she’s going to be one of THOSE MIL.

Asafrigginloutely you might have children to fulfil your needs for a family but if you continue to use them to meet your needs then you are not a decent parent.

Promote good healthy relationships with your children and then unless they experience some devastating family ending trauma that you both can’t handle you will continue to have positive healthy relationships as you both move on through all other phases of life too.

At least that cringe blog got a bit of traffic from MN. Jobe done.

Job

I wish people who write stuff like that would spare a thought for those who don't get to see their child grow up.

It's your hormones, OP. That website section is called from the heart or suchlike, it's meant to be as sentimental as possible.

I have 3 adult size sons who I mostly enjoy. The eldest came home few weeks ago just to wash my car (Mothering Sunday, result !! ) Looking at pics when they were small & adorable, I can find guilt in my parenting failures but not grief that they developed into healthy interesting people.

Don't let your enjoyment of the past stop you enjoying the present.

ime, 8yr olds are still little boys, btw.

Mortified for you, OP 😄

I always find it weird when people post a photo of their child on their birthday, saying, "Can't believe my baby's growing up". Or similar. Well the alternative is that they'd be dead so surely this is better?!

Mia Freedman is a problematic, extremely wealthy. tone deaf dickhead. She spouts absolute nonsense on the regular. Any piece that quotes her as an authority on anything is to be viewed with suspicion.