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To ask how I don’t be bitter this weekend?

692 replies

Dancingmoonlight · 23/04/2022 07:39

I’ve recently become friends with a girl I used to work with, we only worked together for six months and were friendly then, but have been spending some time together recently. Going for the odd cocktail etc. she’s always been nice enough.

She asked if I’d be interested in going to Berlin with her for the weekend, and I said yes. So here we are now and my issue is, my friend turned up with no money hardly. She turned up at the airport with 60 euros and only 7 pound for a four day trip. We have no food included in our room.


I wouldn’t have minded but she’s recently been on a 3 day night out, meals out, cinema and whatever else. Now we are in Berlin and she can’t afford anything and I’m having to subsidise us. Even at the airport with a 4 hour wait, she couldn’t even afford a coffee so I have had to cover it.

Now we are in Berlin, and she’s also so angry. If I go into a shop to look at anything or, if we go to a bar, it’s obvious she’s uncomfortable as she can’t afford anything and then it puts me on the spot. She’s also being very sweary and angry! This trip was her idea and she’s been abroad to European cities before so she knows they’re pricey.

Weve got two more nights and I honestly don’t know how to stop feeling so awkward. I brought enough money (280 euros) but it’s now draining so fast.

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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Moochio · 23/04/2022 07:40

Ask if she minds if you go off for half a day to do some shopping while she does something else.

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UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 23/04/2022 07:41

Honestly I would just ditch her and go off and do lovely things by yourself! Have an honest conversation first but don't waste your holiday with a skint sulker!

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Dancingmoonlight · 23/04/2022 07:43

Thanks both! I don’t mind the odd, oh do you mind getting me a coffee but I was looking at souvenirs yesterday and she kept saying really obviously “oh mum would love that, and I don’t get paid til monday” about a 40 euro bottle of perfume! And then looking over at me! I think she’s down to her last 10 euros now.

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artisanbread · 23/04/2022 07:44

I would just say to her you don't have enough money to keep subsidising you both so she can either withdraw some more/pay by card or you will both have to go off and do your own things.

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Soultrader · 23/04/2022 07:45

Your didn't buy the perfume did you?

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BestestBrownies · 23/04/2022 07:45

Fuck that. She’s mugging you off and you’re allowing it. She’s not a real friend, she’s a chancer.

Just do stuff by yourself for the remainder. Bet she magically finds some money the minute you stop the gravy train

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RampantIvy · 23/04/2022 07:46

She needs to prioritise what money she has left for food. I hope you didn't buy the perfume.

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Duckstuck · 23/04/2022 07:48

That'd annoy me too, you've paid a lot for the break and can't enjoy it as she prioritised spending money on whatever else. She evidently assumed you'd be happy to subsidise her so doubt she respects you much. I'd be honest and say you aren't going to be giving her money but you want to enjoy it so you're going to have a day by yourself.

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NoSquirrels · 23/04/2022 07:49

I wouldn’t have minded but she’s recently been on a 3 day night out, meals out, cinema and whatever else. Now we are in Berlin and she can’t afford anything and I’m having to subsidise us.

Yes, you would have minded - and you should, regardless of why she arrived with no money. It is extra galling she is skint because she had a spendy 3-day weekend but try not to let that colour everything. The issue is she has no money and you shouldn’t have to sub her so what can you do now?

  1. Lend her money, being clear she needs to pay it back (risky if she doesn’t; do you have money to lend anyway?)

  2. Tell her you’re going to go and see X, Y, Z and you’ll meet up again later as you know she can’t afford that - does she have any ideas for free stuff you can do together tomorrow?

  3. Subsidise her and accept you won’t have the weekend you wanted and everything needs to be cheap - but ask her to get over her attitude!

    Have you actually talked about it? Did she have a plan to do it on a shoestring?
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Butfirstcoffees · 23/04/2022 07:50

What an arse. Since she is being angry I would just tell her straight. She came up with the idea of the trip. She knew it was happening she should have saved money.

You don't have the money or Inclination to sub her. And now she is being arsey with you, because she planned badly?

Honestly she is a shockingly bad friend who has no shame. I wouldn't be shy about telling her the truth.

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707smile · 23/04/2022 07:50

Are there some free activities or cheap ones like museums, art galleries, pretty churches to look around? I would opt to do some of those and then suggest having a half day each to yourselves.

Maybe give her a small amount of money as a little loan and say that that's all you can afford at the moment and then that's it. She'll know how much you've given her that way whereas if it's a coffee here, a souvenir there, a ticket for something etc. then she'll not even realise how much it adds up to. She's an adult and should have worked out that she couldn't afford to go if she couldn't!

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Perfect28 · 23/04/2022 07:51

Surely she has a card with her? An overdraft facility? Someone back home who can lend her money for a bit?

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BruceAndNosh · 23/04/2022 07:51

You have to be straight and tell her you have brought enough money for YOU. Ask her how she planned to eat for 3 days
There's no way you should be buying gifts she wants if she hasn't even brought enough money to food.

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thatweirdhippygirl · 23/04/2022 07:52

Just say “I’m sorry I don’t have enough money for both of us”. Simple.

If she gets angry just stare at her blankly.

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Thesearmsofmine · 23/04/2022 07:52

Go enjoy the city by yourself for a while, she sounds like a user.

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wtfisgoingonhere21 · 23/04/2022 07:53

Christ I would not be happy op.

I would ask her how the hell she's thought she would manage with little money to feed herself and do anything in an expensive trip.

I would also go off and do my own thing

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britneyisfree · 23/04/2022 07:53

Omg! What a piss take. Like a pp said, ditch her asap. Agree to spend the day doing other things and just go have fun on your own.
Then in the morning maybe if you want to be kind get her breakfast and then fuck off again. She's trying to use you. It's one thing to expect you to buy her food it's another entirely for her to want you to get her mum perfume.

Also ask her to pay you back for any food etc when she gets paid on Monday.

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MrsSkylerWhite · 23/04/2022 07:53

Tell her she’s BU and treat it like a solo trip. I would.

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MichelleScarn · 23/04/2022 07:54

She's at it, how long were you friends before she suggested this trip? Don't subsidise her anything further for anything, how are airport transfers being paid?

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ParisNoir · 23/04/2022 07:57

So shes angry is she? - well let her be angry then. You dont cave in to a toddler having a tantrum, same with her. If she wants to huff about and be stroppy then let her. Tell her firmly, "I dont have enough money with me to subsidise you aswell" and then go out and about and do your thing. Sure, she'll get angry but so bloody what? shes the idiot who came on holiday with no money so its all of her own doing and I'd point that out to her. Let her be angry and scream into the abyss. YOU have fun.

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gettingolderandgrumpy · 23/04/2022 07:58

What you can’t even last a day on 60 euros. I would of said in first day that’s not to get you very far what are you planning on doing ? She doesn’t have a card she can use ? . Why is she angry it’s he’s doing we can all book holiday but if you can’t afford the spending money there is no point. Tbh you may as well have gone on your own as she can’t afford meals out or drinks . I’d say look you either borrow the money for the rest of the trip or you go off on your own it’s not your fault . I’d be bloody fuming w

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gettingolderandgrumpy · 23/04/2022 07:58

Posted to soon * fuming with her from day one saying only got 60 euros and I’d have said so .

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Moochio · 23/04/2022 07:59

thatweirdhippygirl · 23/04/2022 07:52

Just say “I’m sorry I don’t have enough money for both of us”. Simple.

If she gets angry just stare at her blankly.

This sounds a good response. She's well out of order.

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Popsicle33 · 23/04/2022 07:59

Cheeky fucker! She's not a real friend just a CF chancer. Go and do your own thing, she really doesn't deserve your kindness. Unbelievable behaviour!

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NevaehMind · 23/04/2022 08:00

Weird behaviour! How old are you both?

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