To ask how I don’t be bitter this weekend?

[Dancingmoonlight]

I’ve recently become friends with a girl I used to work with, we only worked together for six months and were friendly then, but have been spending some time together recently. Going for the odd cocktail etc. she’s always been nice enough.

She asked if I’d be interested in going to Berlin with her for the weekend, and I said yes. So here we are now and my issue is, my friend turned up with no money hardly. She turned up at the airport with 60 euros and only 7 pound for a four day trip. We have no food included in our room.

I wouldn’t have minded but she’s recently been on a 3 day night out, meals out, cinema and whatever else. Now we are in Berlin and she can’t afford anything and I’m having to subsidise us. Even at the airport with a 4 hour wait, she couldn’t even afford a coffee so I have had to cover it.

Now we are in Berlin, and she’s also so angry. If I go into a shop to look at anything or, if we go to a bar, it’s obvious she’s uncomfortable as she can’t afford anything and then it puts me on the spot. She’s also being very sweary and angry! This trip was her idea and she’s been abroad to European cities before so she knows they’re pricey.

Weve got two more nights and I honestly don’t know how to stop feeling so awkward. I brought enough money (280 euros) but it’s now draining so fast.

Unbelievable CF. I would point her in the direction of a local Spar for her food and go off by yourself in a huff. Don't be nice about this, it's a long way to go to be taken advantage of.

They don't work together any more

I'd tell her to change her ticket and return home. You can continue your holiday without her.

If you have the money tell her you can lend her £80 but will need it back in pay day. Otherwise do your own thing.

She's a cf, but the fact is, her having feck all money impacts on your enjoyment, can you lend her an amount until payday so at least you will get the money back?

Dump her and go sightseeing on your own. Berlin is a great city with lots to keep you interested for the few days you're there. I don't know if she planned this or just screwed up her finances but you should not pay for her holiday - not another penny.

As mentioned, surely she has bank cards. Credit cards can be paid after payday but the OP has no assurance any money lent will be repaid after payday.

She’s using you. She’s deliberately turned up with not enough money and expects you to subsidise her - and the anger comes from the fact that you haven’t said “Don’t worry, Sarah - I’ll sort it out”. She’s a grown woman. She’s been abroad before. Therefore she knows that she’s going to need hundreds of euros to eat and see a major city. If you’d had completely different expectations of what you did/where you are, that would be understandable; if she was thinking street food and you were thinking Michelin starred restaurants, then that would be unfortunate but nobody’s “fault” and you’d have to find a compromise. But she’s turned up expecting to mug you.

I’d be making some “helpful suggestions”. “Can you put it on a credit card?”, “can you phone your mum and borrow some money?” - that sort of thing. And at the end, I would actually say “did you honestly expect me to pay for your holiday as well as my own?”.

So she’s basically gone on holiday with you, so you’ll fund it.

fuck that. Tell her you aren’t subsidising her anymore.

I wouldn't be "lending " her 80-100 euros absolutely no guarantee you'd get a penny back and plenty of indications that you wouldn't.

Och mumsnetters do this all the time. Full of advice beginning “I’d…”, before detailing some scorched earth action they would apparently undertake.
Such bullshit. It’s just fantasy. They wouldn’t do whatever it is they’re recommending but it’s fun to spout forth like they would.

Yikes OP! From the description of her behaviour I assumed she was really young, but to be in your thirties and so embarrassingly crap with budgeting for a holiday....
If you can afford to, I would offer to lend her £100 with the strict understanding that it will be paid back on payday (or over the next two paydays if required). That way, she'll have just about enough to get by and the emphasis is on her to manage it however she likes. You've also then set a limit of what you can afford and have an agreement for getting it back (so you can easily ask for it without feeling awkward).
If she chooses to spend the lot on perfume for her Mum then leave her to it!

It’s not really enjoyable going on holiday with hardly any money. I get there is free things to do and you can get a burger or bratwurst cheaply but 3 meals a day plus drinks & travel is hard going on 60 euros . I’d rather be at home . And the whole I won’t eat wtf your on holiday dear . I shake my head at her attitude she’d been better off being honest saying I’ll have no money can you loan me 100 euros or something , at least that way she can eat and it’ll be more pleasant. You should be angry with her op tell her so . Stop lending her the odd 5 euros tell her you want it all back .

I'd do all the stuff you'd planned to do but wouldn't sub her, so if it's walking around enjoying the sights then go together, but if it's stuff that costs money do it on your own.
As for food, let her "just not eat".

Sounds like she's deliberately brought you along to use you. It won't be the first time she's done it either.

Ditch her and go off on your own. Don't tell her she needs to pay you back because she'll see it as a green light to pressure you to lend to her till payday. Even though you can say no, it's stressful to be asked for money.

Ask her why she brought so little money with her and personally I'd be tempted to ditch her the rest of the trip and go off on your own so she uses the rest of her money on food.

When you get back, tell her to fuck off. Leech.

Just wondering as no one’s mentioned it - are bank accounts that come with agreed overdraft limits not a standard thing any more? I’ve always had that on my current account.
Or, as others have said, she could us a credit card or loan from a relative. But it’s not your responsibility, OP.

If she gets paid on Monday she can use a credit card. If the weather is ok you can buy food c cheaply in an Edeka and find a nice area to picnic in. There are amazing museums in Berlin which won't cost you. However I agree it is very frustrating to be with someone who has a different budget to you as part of the delights of Berlin is browsing shops, getting a travel card for S bahn/ U bahn/ bus and tram and going for miles in all directions, having coffee and cake and a curry wurst here and there. Maybe ask here what she thinks she can afford from next month's pay and then plan what you can do with the budget you have.
There is a nice park that runs alongside the zoo that allows you to glimpse some of the animals. If you do decide to do some things without her, we recently went on a 4 hour boat trip all around the rivers and canals with a historic commentary. You can sit outside on the roof and it was really lovely. I can't remember how much it cost but not astronomical.

Don’t be confused. She thought she’d do exactly what she is doing: use your money.

either be firm and say you can’t afford to sub her, or give her a set amount and say she has to pay you back (but accept that she never will). I sadly think she always had the intention of getting you to pay for her on this trip.

She said in her Op that they used to work together. They don't now.

How awkward as her plan was clearly just to borrow from you to subsidise her.

Does she seem embarrassed about it at all? That’s probably why shes angry at herself but shouldn’t take it out on you.

have you asked if she has a credit card ?

Can't her mum transfer some money over as a loan until Monday?

Have you asked her how she thought she'd survive 4 days on 60 Euros? That's the only way you'll find out what she was thinking.
I've done lots of budget trips. First stop was always a supermarket or minimart. Buy basic food for the 4 days. That would be 20 Euros (going by average Berlin food shopping prices). That leaves 10 Euros per day to spend. There's lots of free gardens, museums, galleries, historic sites.
Don't let this spoil your holiday. Decide if you want the very budget break your friend can afford and if you don't, tell her you'll do your own thing and catch up with her later.

Sorry to read you have been used. The mum transferring money or the doing your own thing seems the best of the suggestions made so far.

A great pity that a visit to such a lovely city has been spoilt for you.

Sorry but she needs telt as my mother would say. A strongly worded conversation along the lines of ‘I can’t believe you came away on a European city break, that was YOUR idea without hardly any cash’ I am not subsidising your stupidity’. Then bugger off and enjoy the rest of your stay on your own. I’m gobsmacked by this. Don’t worry about offending, more people need to call folk out when they are being totally unreasonable. She is no friend