My f****** brother

[kanyewestbrom]

He does this absolutely dickish thing when presented with a plate of roast dinner where he picks up a roast potato and drops it back on the plate to hear the sound it makes and therefore, he thinks, how crispy it is. Then he gives the chef a mark out of 10. I just want to rip his fucking head off! He has never cooked a meal for me in his whole adult life and he had the nerve to nitpick every single bit of the roast I’ve cooked him. And I am a good cook! This is not one of those meals you see on Slimming Hurled or mealsforpeopleyouhate. I am so angry! Even if the meal is gross surely you are polite and grateful to the chef?!

I would not cook for him ever again. What a bs*rd.

And he sounds extremely arrogant.

Why on earth are you still cooking for someone who acts like such a dick?

If anyone cooks for me I’m very grateful and wouldn’t dream of criticising (I live alone, someone else cooking is a novelty!).

Don't cook for him. Problem sorted. Eat your meal and enjoy ur Cooking with people who appreciate it.

Don't invite him again.

Dissing the cook of a free meal and wanging on about better meals in front of tbe cook and guests would have even me saying something.

He's a twat and if he can afford top class restaurants, he can pay to go to one

Fuck him.

I’m with madmadmadammim. Rate him as a guest.

Tell him he’s cooking the next meal to see how it compares. Then you can rate his cooking.

Make a hole in his roastie and pop in a few senna pods
Sit back and watch the fun
Give him marks out of 10 if he makes the loo in time

@kanyewestbrom

I got a 7/10 today. It’s not about the mark I got. He then wanged on about the uhmaaaaazing food he had somewhere else on a recent trip and we all got bored of him after he talked for 5 mins non stop about how rich he is.

When I tell him he’s being a dick he just laughs and says I’m just tetchy because I’ve got stressed out getting a roast on the table. Then talks about how his friends (who are much better cooks than me and have a much bigger house apparently) always manage to spend time with their guests rather than spend the hour before lunch in the kitchen.

He's rich?;perfect;he can feck off to a restaurant and pay someone else to cook his Sunday roast whilst you and your family eat your Sunday dinner in peace.

Why are you continuing to cook for this rude, entitled inadequate?

Why on earth are you inviting him to dinner?
I wouldn’t have someone so ill mannered in my house - I’d have whipped the plate away from him and told him to go.

TBH I think I’d instantly pick up his plateful and sling it in the bin. Or give it to the dog, who’d appreciate it a lot more.

1. Feed him only mashed potato, scrambled eggs and pureed peas.
2. Or give him a bowl of soup.

My brother used to do shit like this. He just thought he was better than me in every way possible and pick at me. Not spoken to him in years and it’s bliss.

Family, an unnecessary pain in the arse.

Sounds like a dick to me, you eat, say thanks and then can moan to someone close.

I had issue whereby something was put on my food I dislike but it was mistake so said not to worry and ate it(despite not enjoying it, it didn’t kill me).

What a wind up. He probably thinks he’s being funny.
I’d probably avoid asking him or if you have to, Serve his dinner up without any potatoes next time.

Oh dbs love to have their little jokes don’t they. 🙄
Mine used to take me shopping as I don’t drive and we’d usually end up at the same checkout together.
Every time the cashier would put my cleaning products through my db would think it a huge joke to say loud enough for everyone to hear “oh you’re actually going to clean your house at last are you?” I’d make a point of laaarfin along with the “joke” but inwardly cringe.
Then one week as his soap and shampoo appeared along the line I decided it was payback time. “Oh you’re going to have a bath at last are you?” “What’s the occasion?” His face was redder than the tomatoes in his trolley.
He’s never done it since!
Get yourself over to his next week and refuse to eat ANYTHING on your plate. Don’t rate it just get up and throw it all in the bin making gagging noises as you do so.
Sometimes they just need some of their own medicine. Oh and don’t invite him back to yours like ever!

Count how many roasts you've served him. Tell him that until he's taken you out for that many roast lunches (given that he doesn't cook) you won't be having him round again. Inform him where you'd like to be taken for your first roast next Sunday. And your second one the Sunday after. Tell him it's all booked and you look forward to seeing him.

You're not being pathetic. He is an arsehole. I wouldn't invite him back

Ha ha sounds like my mother… she usually finds fault with something I cook

Give him a paper plate. Couldn’t make a noise then.
Paper cup.
Plastic spoons.
Just for a childish bro.
Bros are supposed to be annoying tho’
Just love him.

Burn his until they are near cremated and smouldering.... Crispy enough for you??

But seriously, just tell him not to do that really wankerish thing of dropping the potatoes again or your going to have to start a bingo card.

My ex brother in-law once did a similar thing when I was heavily pregnant. Told him to fuck off out my house. Thank god it didn't last between them. She had a much nicer husband now.

If he gives you less than 10/10 not invited again.