Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My f****** brother

219 replies

kanyewestbrom · 17/04/2022 19:49

He does this absolutely dickish thing when presented with a plate of roast dinner where he picks up a roast potato and drops it back on the plate to hear the sound it makes and therefore, he thinks, how crispy it is. Then he gives the chef a mark out of 10. I just want to rip his fucking head off! He has never cooked a meal for me in his whole adult life and he had the nerve to nitpick every single bit of the roast I’ve cooked him. And I am a good cook! This is not one of those meals you see on Slimming Hurled or mealsforpeopleyouhate. I am so angry! Even if the meal is gross surely you are polite and grateful to the chef?!

OP posts:
GCAcademic · 17/04/2022 20:56

Why the fuck do you cook for this twat?

DisforDarkChocolate · 17/04/2022 20:57

Why the feck are you inviting him?

SoggyPaper · 17/04/2022 20:57

@kanyewestbrom

I got a 7/10 today. It’s not about the mark I got. He then wanged on about the uhmaaaaazing food he had somewhere else on a recent trip and we all got bored of him after he talked for 5 mins non stop about how rich he is.

When I tell him he’s being a dick he just laughs and says I’m just tetchy because I’ve got stressed out getting a roast on the table. Then talks about how his friends (who are much better cooks than me and have a much bigger house apparently) always manage to spend time with their guests rather than spend the hour before lunch in the kitchen.

Did you tell him that being in the kitchen means an hour less of his company? That’s clearly a win for you.
SuchAsSeals · 17/04/2022 20:58

If he's that awful, I'd tell him he's insufferably rude and you won't invite him if he can't be polite and appreciative of the effort you've made to host him. Yeah, yeah, "family", but there are limits. He's an adult, so it's time to learn how to behave in polite society, even including his sister.

SeedyBloomer · 17/04/2022 20:59

What a tool. Make fewer and tell him he doesn’t get any, due to previous idiocy.

apricotlane · 17/04/2022 20:59

Wow, according to the reactions he is more or less another 'abuser' and you should cut him out of your life and never speak, nor cook for him again.

Lol. Just have it out with him and then smooth it over.

Benjispruce4 · 17/04/2022 21:00

Tell him you’re looking forward to sampling his offering at his next Sunday.

SuchAsSeals · 17/04/2022 21:00

Or stop making roast potatoes for him. He gets boiled potatoes or a microwaved potato instead.

RandomMess · 17/04/2022 21:00

Stop inviting him, tell him it's his turn to host?

MangoBiscuit · 17/04/2022 21:01

www.amazon.co.uk/Emanation-Inc-Mr-your-Pocket/dp/B00026ZFIY?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

You need this, or something like this. Then as he is about to drop the potato, press a button, make it squawk "I PITY THE FOOL" at him. Every time he does it. Knob.

Luredbyapomegranate · 17/04/2022 21:03

Why do you ask him?

Lollypop701 · 17/04/2022 21:05

I’m not surprised he’s at yours… everyone else has fucked him off for being an idiot. Only family would invite him more than once

TheSilveryTinsellyPussycat · 17/04/2022 21:06

I think he's winding you up as well, and somehow thinks it is amusing that he does it everytime. DB is a bit like this.

Way back over 50 years ago, we didn't really drink wine except on Christmas Day. My DM would have a glass of wine while cooking, and sometimes declared she felt "a bit squiffy." My DB still thinks it funny to say at celbratory meals "Bit SQUIFFY are we Mother." It was never funny in the first place, but the last time he did it, it sounded as if he was implying she was an alcoholic. The rest of the guests would not have had a clue that this was a family in-joke that only DM and I would be familiar with. Every time he does this, DM cringes. But of course he never notices.

IcakethereforeIam · 17/04/2022 21:06

I am so sorry, it might be petty but these microagressions are soul destroying. I don't have any advice on how to deal with him, I expect you have plenty of your own thoughts. I would be tempted to give him, just him, one of those frozen roast meals, maybe, if he's lucky, I'd also heat it up.

irishfarmer · 17/04/2022 21:07

Drop kick him right out of the house!

godmum56 · 17/04/2022 21:08

Honestly I have zero idea why you tolerated such rudeness even once.

ElenaSt · 17/04/2022 21:09

‘When are you going to stop being so childish about your free meal? No one is interested in your pathetic potato scoring and if you do it again I won’t be cooking for you ever again’

Malbecfan · 17/04/2022 21:10

Just say "next Sunday we're all coming round to yours for lunch then". He'll wriggle and squirm but insist. Then rock up next weekend. Make sure you have food at home or money to go out in case he's all mouth & no trousers.

Faithless2 · 17/04/2022 21:12

@kanyewestbrom

I got a 7/10 today. It’s not about the mark I got. He then wanged on about the uhmaaaaazing food he had somewhere else on a recent trip and we all got bored of him after he talked for 5 mins non stop about how rich he is.

When I tell him he’s being a dick he just laughs and says I’m just tetchy because I’ve got stressed out getting a roast on the table. Then talks about how his friends (who are much better cooks than me and have a much bigger house apparently) always manage to spend time with their guests rather than spend the hour before lunch in the kitchen.

Rate his conversation skills - give him a 2/10 for being tedious and obsessed with himself and comparing people.
ElenaSt · 17/04/2022 21:14

Op, next time he does it, get one of your kitchen knives and do this to him -

VyeBrator · 17/04/2022 21:14

@kanyewestbrom

I got a 7/10 today. It’s not about the mark I got. He then wanged on about the uhmaaaaazing food he had somewhere else on a recent trip and we all got bored of him after he talked for 5 mins non stop about how rich he is.

When I tell him he’s being a dick he just laughs and says I’m just tetchy because I’ve got stressed out getting a roast on the table. Then talks about how his friends (who are much better cooks than me and have a much bigger house apparently) always manage to spend time with their guests rather than spend the hour before lunch in the kitchen.

Stop being a mug and don't cook him food again.

Why is this not simple for you?

Ostryga · 17/04/2022 21:15

You have got to be my younger sister because my brother did this today.

My brother is 22 tho so still at peak ‘be a cunt for no reason’ age.

LadyCluck · 17/04/2022 21:17

@HellyR

Give him a still-frozen Aunt Bessie's next time, see what sound that makes when splatted onto a plate.
GrinGrinGrin
CatWoman12345 · 17/04/2022 21:18

In the wise, old words of MN - He needs to go, you deserve better x

Skiptheheartsandflowers · 17/04/2022 21:20

Say very sweetly 'ah, I wouldn't want you to keep eating substandard food so you can go to your friend's for dinner every time now. I won't put you through coming here again'.

In case you're thinking 'I can't do that, it'll look petty, people will ask why' - you can. And tell them why. You don't have to just accept it. He's really rude.

PS bet his friends also think he's a dick but like you, are too polite to say