My f****** brother

[kanyewestbrom]

He does this absolutely dickish thing when presented with a plate of roast dinner where he picks up a roast potato and drops it back on the plate to hear the sound it makes and therefore, he thinks, how crispy it is. Then he gives the chef a mark out of 10. I just want to rip his fucking head off! He has never cooked a meal for me in his whole adult life and he had the nerve to nitpick every single bit of the roast I’ve cooked him. And I am a good cook! This is not one of those meals you see on Slimming Hurled or mealsforpeopleyouhate. I am so angry! Even if the meal is gross surely you are polite and grateful to the chef?!

He sounds like a pompous prat. A PP had the right idea: take his plate and put it in the bin and tell him it wasn't up to standard. Then warn him to only ever score food he's cooked.

Obviously he doesn’t have a partner

Sorry, OP. Family can be bloody hard work.

I’d pour gravy over his potatoes and make sure there is enough on his plate so that when he drops a potato (with gravy covered fingers) he splashes himself. Then I’d score him back.
I’ve got a twat of a brother who like to sit at the table and be waited on my our 84yo mother. And then does a pretend trembling bottom lip when I tell him to get his own whatever it was he wanted mum to go and get him.

I’d prob tell him that if all his friends and other meals out are that much better hes free to fuck off there.

Save the real ones for everyone else and just give him aunt Bessies

@DomesticatedZombie

Paint a rock like a roast potato.

Oh PLEASE do this!!! 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣

@Iflyaway

Why are you putting up with his abuse??

Tell him to fuck off and block him.

We deserve being treated with kindness in life.

This. Tell him to get the fuck out

Serve everyone else a meal but not him. Or snatch the meal back and instantly bin it. He's bloody rude - stop enabling him.

I'm curious, what sound does a well cooked roast potato make when dropped on a plate?
Is this a test I should be doing?
I need to know

Next time you have a family meal make a bingo card for you, your Dsis, her partner if she has one and yours if you have one. Let him do his thing and when one of of you shouts "bingo!!" and he asks what its about, say "oh nothing" with lots of eye contact and sniggers. It will drive him BARMY. Keep doing it every single time there is a family get together.

I’d get the dog to lick his potatoes first.

Then let him know that’s why his don’t make the right sound.

What a bizarre thing to do! I definitely agree with a PP, lob one at his noggin and tell him that you researched online and it was the best way to ascertain if a potato had the right crispness or not.

😂 Absolutely serve him one burnt, and one half raw. Although the bingo card also sounds fab.
Do you have a good relationship otherwise? 😄 My brother used to annoy the hell out of me sometimes.

Have you told him he is being a complete twat? 😆 Is he doing it deliberately just to wind you up? Mine used to do it! Never thought I’d miss it, but I really, really do.

Frozen dinner for one from Asda.

Tell him to fuck the fuck off! Cheeky twat .....😡

Bounce a roaster off his head and ask him how he likes the sound of that

Seriously cheeky.
Unless he gives you an 11/10.
Never heard of anyone doing this before, but what did used to upset me, when FIL used to pull a face when MIL made a gorgeous apple pie {From apples from their tree} and FIL would ''Wince'' as if chewing on lemons, and say ''Did you put any sugar in this, MIL?''

The pies were always lovely, tangy and with crumbly pastry.
I always thought it was a way of putting her down, and yet when MIL died, FIL missed her very much.

I'd challenge him to do it better. That your extended family can go round to his so you can benefit from his wealth of knowledge on the subject and give HIM a score. No ? OK then tell him only constructive comments are allowed unless he wants to find somewhere with a table for 1

So rude - send him off to make his own!

He’s an utter dick head. No more roast potatoes. I’d be tempted not to serve him any more food at all. Give him an empty plate. He’s that rich, go to McDonald’s then mate. Start standing up to him

Jokingly Remind him you are next of kin and get to make medical decisions for him if he can’t, up to and including removing life support, so he had better be more complimentary about your cooking in future. 🤣🤣🤣.

Best suggestion on this thread is to not give him roast potatoes with his meal.

‘Sorry PITA brother, the roast potatoes are a 3/10 this week - I’ve saved you the trouble and am eating yours myself’

@kanyewestbrom

He does this absolutely dickish thing when presented with a plate of roast dinner where he picks up a roast potato and drops it back on the plate to hear the sound it makes and therefore, he thinks, how crispy it is. Then he gives the chef a mark out of 10. I just want to rip his fucking head off! He has never cooked a meal for me in his whole adult life and he had the nerve to nitpick every single bit of the roast I’ve cooked him. And I am a good cook! This is not one of those meals you see on Slimming Hurled or mealsforpeopleyouhate. I am so angry! Even if the meal is gross surely you are polite and grateful to the chef?!

Yep, if the meal is being cooked for you, even if it's not perfect, it's still time saved while they are cooking and your doing x, then the least you can do , is show appreciation for them cooking.

You don't sound pathetic, you sound lovely. Your brother seems very lucky to have you in his life. If you were a roast potato you'd definitely be at least a 9.5. With your last comment I actually feel a bit sorry for your brother. What a sad life.