My f****** brother

[kanyewestbrom]

He does this absolutely dickish thing when presented with a plate of roast dinner where he picks up a roast potato and drops it back on the plate to hear the sound it makes and therefore, he thinks, how crispy it is. Then he gives the chef a mark out of 10. I just want to rip his fucking head off! He has never cooked a meal for me in his whole adult life and he had the nerve to nitpick every single bit of the roast I’ve cooked him. And I am a good cook! This is not one of those meals you see on Slimming Hurled or mealsforpeopleyouhate. I am so angry! Even if the meal is gross surely you are polite and grateful to the chef?!

“Your turn next time. Looking forward to it.”

Serve him bouncy balls on the plate instead of roasties.

I'd find it funny, to be fair

He's an arse but you are an idiot for putting up with his rude behaviour. Don't invite him.

What a wanker!
My fil always asks for his plate to be heated before dinner when I’m slaving over a hot stove. He’s stopped asking me to heat it and does it himself in the microwave. He’s never cooked me dinner and knows full well not to criticise as that’s the last time he’ll be invited.
Your db sounds like a tosser even without testing the roast potatoes. He sounds a complete bore too.

You invite him. More fool you.

My female cousins still put up with their dickhead brother. He's rude, entitled and unpleasant. I stopped inviting him years ago, as did my mum.

When I tell him he’s being a dick he just laughs and says I’m just tetchy because I’ve got stressed out getting a roast on the table.

Sounds like he likes to wind you up.
Don’t fall for it.

I personally would say I’m not cooking for him again as he doesn’t like my cooking.
But if you do cook for him again then simply ignore him doing it and don’t call him out on it as he’s looking for a reaction.

He sounds like a massive dick and I’m surprised you’re still in contact with him.

Does he have some issues from growing up where he thinks you were the favourite child?

Has he a mental disability?

Does he have a partner? If so, I truly pity them.

If he's this much of a cunt about his sister's cooking I can only imagine what he's like to live with.

I wouldn't be inviting him again.

He's totally winding you up. is he single...learn to fight back, if anyone criticised my potatoes I'd remove them from their plate.

I would laugh at him and say he should cook the food next time.

How do most of you get thru life if you get in such a bloody tizzy over someone teasing you over a roast potato?

Don’t have your fucking Brother around again for a meal, simples.

He sounds like a prick.

What an arse. Don't invite the fucker next time.

This can easily be solved. Throw a brick at his head to see what sound that makes.
Seriously though, why are you cooking for the ungrateful prick?

@MissyCooperismyShero

How do most of you get thru life if you get in such a bloody tizzy over someone teasing you over a roast potato?

Once may be teasing. Routinely playing with his food in order to disrespect the host is ridiculous.

If you think this is funny you may be the one who needs to reconsider.

@MissyCooperismyShero

How do most of you get thru life if you get in such a bloody tizzy over someone teasing you over a roast potato?

Easily with a smile. Because I don't entertain twats more than once.

How do others get through life with no manners?

What a twat!

Don't invite him again.

It's funny because he's your brother. Anyone else, no way.

Brothers are supposed to be bloody irritating and anyone whose brother is civil and polite have hit some sort of off the scale jackpot.

LTB

My brother would do something like this. Next time tell him it's his responsibility to bring dessert. When he does, take a spoon and flick it in his face or squash the cake into his head. Then say 0/10 for the dessert.

If the meal is not great, the veg undercooked and watery gravy, I doubt I'd have anything to praise so I'd have to find something else on which to compliment the chef/cook.
Possibly along the lines of 'Well, I couldn't manage another bite, that was more than enough, thank you', followed by a satisfied smile. 😉😇

I also laugher at the brick joke (I hope it was a joke).

Yes, you are allowed to be equally irritating!

Paint a rock like a roast potato.

I do realise I sound pathetic! Just so cross today. It’s a lot of teasing! I promise I do have a sense of humour.

Obviously he doesn’t have a partner. I think my sister and I are the only women who regularly see him and that’s only out of a weird sense of family blood duty.

He’s rich and works in a schmoozing type industry so he has lots of ‘friends’ who are actually just people who want to scrounge from him or people who have to spend time with him for their job. I’m still his emergency contact at his GP so he’s got no one close.