My f****** brother

[kanyewestbrom]

He does this absolutely dickish thing when presented with a plate of roast dinner where he picks up a roast potato and drops it back on the plate to hear the sound it makes and therefore, he thinks, how crispy it is. Then he gives the chef a mark out of 10. I just want to rip his fucking head off! He has never cooked a meal for me in his whole adult life and he had the nerve to nitpick every single bit of the roast I’ve cooked him. And I am a good cook! This is not one of those meals you see on Slimming Hurled or mealsforpeopleyouhate. I am so angry! Even if the meal is gross surely you are polite and grateful to the chef?!

If you’re going to cook for the twat then insist he take you and your sister’s for dinner regularly.

Then talks about how his friends (who are much better cooks than me and have a much bigger house apparently) always manage to spend time with their guests rather than spend the hour before lunch in the kitchen

Tell him to fuck off and scrounge roast lunch from them.

He sounds like the Oi'm considerably richer than yow - Harry Enfield character.

He sounds insufferable and I would never make him a meal again

One of my brothers still behaves like an adolescent dickhead in his forties. Enabled, obviously, by our mother, who is incapable of saying no to him. Every time he’s a prick to me I tell him he’s a tedious wanker and end the conversation. I think he’s probably too old to change now, and definitely too self-centred, so he’ll be growing old alone as no woman is stupid enough to form a relationship with him and his siblings don’t tolerate his shit.

Why don't you just tell him?
'You've never cooked me a dinner so you can fuck right off with your rating of my potatoes'

I've learnt to turn my filter off & give it to them both barrels.

After reading your updates I now feel a bit sorry for him. His life sounds a bit empty. But he doesn't get to be a twat when you are inviting him round for dinner. Tell him he should be cooking for you and your sister. If he grades your roasties tell him to fuck off and explain why it is rude. Hopefully he might be able to take some of this on board and it will improve social situations for everyone.

I invite my sister round to my house maybe once every 6 weeks and give her her dinner.

She hasn't invited me to hers, or made me a meal, in probably 10 years.

Granted, it's more convenient for her to come to me. I live and work in Town X, sister also works in Town X, but LIVES in Town Y, which is 30 minutes-ish drive away.

Sister is on the autistic spectrum, and I think has just decreed to herself that my house is the most convenient/best meeting place, and that's that.

I've given up waiting for my invitation to hers. Although, to her credit, she always praises my cooking!!

Sounds like he's a food narcissused

Give him mash and tell him he can only have roasts when he grows up and gets some manners. Everyone else can have the roasties

I would put Aunt Bessie's frozen ones on his plate and rope the rest of the family in on the 'prank' and all laugh like a drain! With brothers like him you have to fight fire with fire 🔥

Thats the final straw. Tell him how rude he is being, and the next roast dinner you will have together will be cooked by him and eaten at his house. Do not invite him again.

@Iflyaway

Why are you putting up with his abuse??

Tell him to fuck off and block him.

We deserve being treated with kindness in life.

Abuse? Come on don’t be a dick. Don’t bring abuse down to the level of a roast potato slur. For fuck’s sake. Your thinking is damaging.

OP, let him eat mash, If there’s ever a next time.

I wouldn’t cook for him again very immature

I initially went with puréed.

I’d still be cooking a roast. He would be getting a separate meal. The meal he hates most.

Critique that buttercup.

Lob one at his head. Tell him you're checking it's crispy enough for him

@Iflyaway

Why are you putting up with his abuse??

Tell him to fuck off and block him.

We deserve being treated with kindness in life.

Are you on the right thread? Block him, abuse? It’s her brother and he’s dropping potatoes on a plate to test their ‘crispiness’. Annoying but it’s not abuse 😏

Tell him you rate him a 2 out of 10 as a brother and if he criticises your spuds again he won't be welcome.

I would have told him he should cook for you to show you how to do it or to take you out and pay for a Sun roast meal at of these wonderful places he keeps bragging about - farted all he can afford it. Easier in hindsight though I know

I’d have taken his meal off him and put it in the bin. Then sat down with the rest of my family and continued to enjoy my roast dinner.

I’m sure this thread was called “My fucking brother” yesterday. Who starred out the swearing?

He's a rude wanker.

Give him one final warning, make it crystal clear that his bullshit idea of humour will not be tolerated and if does it again he will no longer be invited to eat at your house.

What a twat attitude 🤬
If that was any of my brothers, they wouldn't be invited again!

@Lalliella

I’m sure this thread was called “My fucking brother” yesterday. Who starred out the swearing?

I thought that also!

Clicked on this thinking that it was a thread I hadn't seen!

He’s only your brother. Why can’t you simply say ‘DON’T pick up a potato and do that fucking annoying mark out of 10 thing! Do it and your dinner goes in the bin! You’re so fucking irritating! grow up!’
Why not?