My f****** brother

[kanyewestbrom]

He does this absolutely dickish thing when presented with a plate of roast dinner where he picks up a roast potato and drops it back on the plate to hear the sound it makes and therefore, he thinks, how crispy it is. Then he gives the chef a mark out of 10. I just want to rip his fucking head off! He has never cooked a meal for me in his whole adult life and he had the nerve to nitpick every single bit of the roast I’ve cooked him. And I am a good cook! This is not one of those meals you see on Slimming Hurled or mealsforpeopleyouhate. I am so angry! Even if the meal is gross surely you are polite and grateful to the chef?!

Siblings! What can you do? 🤷 I believe the whole point of brothers and sisters is to test your patience to force you to learn tolerance. No one presses your buttons like a sibling!

If you were a roast potato you'd definitely be at least a 9.5. 🤣🤣🤣
Brilliant!

(Annoying brother is the equivalent of cold lumpy mash 0/10)

When he next does it, grab his plate and carry it off to somewhere he can't see while saying "sorry it's under par, I'll see what I can do". Return to the table, sit and enjoy your meal. When he asks, throughout the meal, where his food is, tell him it's being dealt with.

If anyone wants seconds, produce his plate and give it to them saying that a rude customer downrated it. Keep responding to any of his protestations with things along the lines of it's being dealt with.

At the end of the meal, ask him, with the greatest surprise, if he isn't hungry? Offer him toast (but only if he makes it himself).

Throw it at his head. If he says ouch tell him that's a 10 /10

Throw one at his head and mark out of 10 depending on how hollow his head sounds.

@MissyCooperismyShero

How do most of you get thru life if you get in such a bloody tizzy over someone teasing you over a roast potato?

You’ve just reminded me of the hilarious Sean Locke joke. Referring to Gordon Ramsey he said- some heavy shit’s gone down there. You don’t get a face like that worrying about roast potatoes.

You’ve just reminded me of the hilarious Sean Locke joke. Referring to Gordon Ramsey he said- some heavy shit’s gone down there. You don’t get a face like that worrying about roast
potatoes.

😂😂😂😂😂 👍 👌

Last time my brother did something like this I have him an earful, thanked him for volunteering to cook the next roast, then held him to it. Everyone gets the same treatment because I am absolutely not willing to listen to complaints from people who haven't bothered to make the effort themselves. I heartily recommend it.

Burn one. Crispy enough for ya now??!!!

He’s trying to wind you up and clearly succeeding. Siblings know what buttons to press. Just remember he’s a childish idiot and not worth the angst. He probably hugely jealous

Don’t make any roast potatoes next time. None for anyone and then he can’t do it. Have them the day before or something so you and your family can still eat them. Just serve new potatoes. If he asks where they are, tell him his rating system is annoying and so there are never any roast potatoes from now on.

Yup, no more roast potatoes for DB! Next time he comes around just serve something really bog standard like spag bol made with sauce out of a jar.
If he expresses disappointment, just say that based on his feedback about your cooking you thought it best not to attempt something too challenging as he will probably won't find it up to scratch.

Honesty ..... my brother isnsuch a big fat pain in the ass. He always nit picks at everything I do today. I had a massive argument with him because I was making him food for suhoor (Ramadan breakfast) and he kept complaining saying I am being too loud and hes trying to sleep! The audacity. My head actually blew. Love my brother but he can be a real pain is the a$$!!!! Always complaining about everything urghhh 💔💔💔 I Honeslty was reflecting on my reaction and I do believe the best thing woulda been was to just ignore him and carried on and stayed quite. But I hate the pressure us woman face sometimes! Its too much...

😂

Seriously don’t hand him the roast.

I would just leave them off his plate, a nice obvious gap where they should be.every single time.

I like the suggestions of rating him back: marks out of ten for manners; for being a good guest; being a good brother, for respect and gratitude for someone going to the effort of cooking for him when he never cooks for them; for how boring it is to keep repeating the same ‘joke’ etc. Do it with a smile, and if he responds by saying you can’t take a joke then continue with giving him marks out of ten for dishing it out when he can’t take it; for big ego and thin skin and so on. When he gets annoyed, you can tell him that he’s been doing it to you for ages, and yes, it is annoying, it does upset you and you’d really appreciate him stopping. Finish with if he’s not prepared to stop doing something that he knows is upsetting you, then it’s better if he doesn’t come for lunch.

Serve this prick a raw potato, every time.

LTB... b = brother

No roast potatoes next time.

I'm undecided whether you should just not give any to him or not cook any at all.

What a twat though!

Very annoying. Sounds as though he’s got used to people serving him and is treating you the same way.

If you don’t want to put an end to his invitations to preserve family harmony, give him ready-made mash instead of roasties every single time.

I don't think you sound pathetic Op.

Some people think this sort of thing is hilarious.

I personally don't-but he should know when it's OK & when enough is enough.

If you wouldn't put up with it from a friend, why should you from a sibling?

I don't see why they get a free pass.

He sounds like a smarmy wanker on every level- sorry he's your brother OP!
I don't believe the stories about friends who have him over for dinner in their fancy big houses. Nobody would invite a prick like that around if they weren't bound by being a relative.
Next time serve him still frozen Aunt Bessie's potatoes. If it's all just banter, surely he should be able to take it?! Then when he bangs on about being wealthy maybe suggest he takes you all out for lunch next time?

My uncle took the piss out of my mom's trifle one too many times. A decade later he noted that it had been ages since she'd made trifle for him. I think it's been a good 30 years now.

Just an option!

Theres a joke then just being rude-i never cook so if anyone invites me for a meal im polite and grateful

Families eh. Your brother is rich but single, surrounded by associates not actual friends, in the silence of his own head he knows he's a cunt.

Telling him not to do it will get you nowhere, brothers just do it more to needle you so get some payback. Don't cook for him again, tell him you can't wait for him to show you how its done and hold him to it regularly, then rank him out of 10 every time. Works both ways. If he makes you a sandwich, even a cup of tea and a biscuit rank the shit out of it.

My DH is a sweetheart but he used to do this with my (awesome) yorkshire puddings & roasties. Until I realised that he didn't even know how to make them. Guess who makes the yorkshire puddings & roasties in our house these days? And I always make a point of critiquing them even when they're edible (yesterdays were stodgy and deflated, and the roasties were greasy). The DC now ask who is making the Yorkshires and groan when its their dad's turn, cheer when I make them. Payback.