I don't want more children, but I don't know if I'll forever regret not having a daughter.

[potofivy]

Firstly, I know children are all individuals, and I actually can't place exactly why I want a daughter.

I have two beautiful boys whom I love dearly.

I'm pretty sure two children is the perfect number for us. I also know that even if we had a third, there's a 50/50 chance it'd be another boy.

How can I just be happy with what I've got?!

Because she's explaining from her experience that op could still end up having a girl if she tried again

I think OP’s probably aware that she could have a girl if she tried again!

I think @Hunderland was just trying to give the context that the 80% chance of having a third boy obviously leaves room for many people to have a third of a different sex so it is not certain that the OP would have another boy. Which I would have thought would be a useful real life example and not merit the rude response from the OP (but perhaps the OP misunderstood).

@potofivy

I think the only way to try is to be 100% that you’d be happy either way. Longing for what you don’t have is just a part of it in my opinion.

@ExplodingElephants I understand your thinking but I genuinely don’t think that’s going to be the case just because you have a boy. I think that in the modern world especially, that all depends on so much more than whether you’re a boy or girl mum.

As someone with 1 child, who wanted more but can't have any more, please, on behalf of all those who can't have any, or are struggling to have more.. please try to focus on how lucky you are to have any children.
I don't want to dismiss your feelings, I have a close friend in the same position and I can see her yearning. But ultimately this is the reality, we're so blessed.
I try to focus on being grateful for my one DC as I know so many going through the pain of having none.
This isn't directed at you specifically OP, but some of the repliers.

Genuine question- what do you expect from a daughter that you don’t have with your sons? Because no particular relationship is guaranteed.

No but it comes with pretty high odds. Just a glance through MN will show you the this!

6 DC. 4 DS and 2 DD. They are all unique. All so different. Not cos of their sex cost they are individuals. I didn’t care wot they were born. In fact on one of my ( emergency C sec) they never told us. We cuddled our baby and it wasn’t until a midwife asked as I got into the ward wot I had that I said I didn’t know. !! Bizarre I know but true.
In my experience my 2 DD are so much harder then my DS. Love them to bits but hard work. I always thought DD would be more affectionate to me. But no it is my DS who are cuddle monsters.
Go for it if you feel the need but all DC are unique regardless of sex

I have two (now adult) sons. The only time I've regretted not having a DD is when my friends' DDs became old enough for them to really enjoy them as shopping companions, to do 'girl things' with. But then DS1 married and 'blessed' me with my wonderful DiL. She's all I could ever have asked for in a DD. And I didn't have to shepherd her through those teen years all my friends with DDs moaned to me about!! My sons were a lot easier from 12-18 than their DDs!

Jesus OP, that was a rude response.

We had 2ds and went for a third, I knew I would have liked to have a daughter but didn’t realise how strong my feelings were until we found out that he was a boy. That was a few years ago now and honestly he is the apple of the whole family’s eye and I absolutely love having 3 boys.

People asking if you will try for a girl are so rude, some of the comments random people have made have been so insensitive and some just bizarre(one women said DH isn’t a real man because real men can produce a girl 😳).

Just to those saying that when you have a daughter in-law then you might be able to do 'girly' stuff with her - please don't make this assumption. For some reason, all my long term boyfriends have all had either one or two brothers and no sisters, so I've been subjected to a lot of this from their mothers. I'm really not girly at all and have found it quite irritating and uncomfortable. I know it's well-intended and have tried to be polite, but just don't project stereotypes and try to force a 'girly' relationship due to the fantasy you have of having a daughter.

I don’t think anyone would feel sorry for you unless you were projecting that they should? There’s nothing unusual about having two boys.

Just remind yourself how much more complex life is with three, that there is no guarantee you’d be close to a girl.. and get a kitten.

I had a dd after 2 dc, and fell pregnant unexpectedly. But I ultimately always wanted 4 kids so it was doable for me.

My easiest child is my middle DS. I love them all of course, but the thing I learned was that it really doesn't matter what sex they are. They're personalities are all so different and you get what you get.

If you're done with 2, stick with 2. If you and your dp want a 3rd child, then go for it but not just because you MIGHT have a dd.

And I ended up as a single parent of 3. It's hard!

I have to admit I find the longing for a particular gender weird. I have one boy, don't want any more. It never occurred to me that I should long for a girl. Although I find it difficult to relate to my own mother at times as we're very different people so I never had the fantasy of a perfect mother-daughter relationship.

God that reply to @Hunderland. Absolutely charming 🙄

@Luredbyapomegranate

I don’t think anyone would feel sorry for you unless you were projecting that they should? There’s nothing unusual about having two boys.

Just remind yourself how much more complex life is with three, that there is no guarantee you’d be close to a girl.. and get a kitten.

Ooooooh kitten!!!

I have two boys. Have never craved for a girl.... but l also didn't crave for a boy either!

I was really pleased when l found out DC2 was another boy. I can't do girls hair

The rude reply is because the Op is still bitter about not having a girl.

You have to let it go and be thankful you have children, millions can't have any.

I wanted two girls, I got one of each. I accepted it and love them both equally. They are both adorable and loving in different ways, not sure it's sex but personality. Yes my DD is great for watching chick flicks with and shopping, but my DS loves to hike with me and cook.

Yes, although my niece is a big comfort.

Lost a baby daughter a long, long time ago. I've got a son, luckily. I couldn't go through a third pregnancy. I feel too old now. But having a daughter crosses my mind and I feel wistful.

I wish someone could wave a magic wand and I could have my grown up daughter. But ah

@Heronwatcher

I think *@Hunderland* was just trying to give the context that the 80% chance of having a third boy obviously leaves room for many people to have a third of a different sex so it is not certain that the OP would have another boy. Which I would have thought would be a useful real life example and not merit the rude response from the OP (but perhaps the OP misunderstood).

Anyone who understands percentages and biology can work that out though. We all know families with two boys and a girl.

And OP clearly said she doesn’t want more children and asked for advice on how to be happy with what she has. So I can’t see how it was a useful response at all.

Maybe one of your sons will change gender when they get older? Then you’d have one of each.

I have 4 boys. No I didn’t try to get a girl but yes I would have liked a daughter. However I do have 4 totally amazing sons and I don’t miss not having a girl - I’ve never had one so what’s to miss? I have a lovely niece who I spoil - and her 2 lovely brothers.

Enjoy your lovely boys op, I have 4 of the most amazing kids and I’m thankful for them every day. It’s crazy sometimes but I wouldn’t change it. I was meant to have boys and perhaps I’ll have 5 granddaughters like someone else said 😂😂

@Waxonwaxoff0

I have to admit I find the longing for a particular gender weird. I have one boy, don't want any more. It never occurred to me that I should long for a girl. Although I find it difficult to relate to my own mother at times as we're very different people so I never had the fantasy of a perfect mother-daughter relationship.

I agree with the first pregnancy. It's absolutely ridiculous one of my friends went out and bought blue baby clothes... before the 5 month scan she then found out it was a girl!. She was besides herself.

I'm sorry but it boils down to entitlement... there's nothing wrong with having a desire we all do for something but it's unacceptable to become entitled. It's not a God given right you must have your own way.

@stairway

Maybe one of your sons will change gender when they get older? Then you’d have one of each.

They're not clownfish!

I have twin boys. I do sometimes feel a pang of "it's shame I'll never have a girl". When i was pregnant with my twins i was desperate for a girl/girls because all the children around me growing up were girls. I had girls names picked out and plenty of ideas about what they'd be like. When i found out they were boys it took me a while to get my head round it because it simply never occurred to me that i might have boys.

Since i had them I've realised the world is a very dangerous place for girls and women and i am glad in a lot of ways that i don't have girls. There's a whole lot of risks that girls are exposed to and boys just aren't. I think my boys have a much higher chance of not experiencing the harassment and discrimination that i have experienced. I'm not having any more - very high chance of more multiples and i realised that a baby is more than its gender.