Notice of intention to marry appointment. I think I nearly failed.

[Yissie]

I mean in fairness I didn't research what this appointment actually was, I just bought the documents the registrar said to bring. I thought it would be quite exciting going in together and signing the documents together. No no. Get to the door. One sent back to car, separate interviews.They said they were going to ask me some questions. I fell apart

They compared our answers. My fiancé had gotten my job wrong. I said my job and they said it wasn't what he answered, is there something less specific he might of put? It felt like a riddle. I kept saying last minute wedding meaning just planned last minute, we've been engaged for years. Then I realised they might think that and kept over explaining that it's not that last minute we've been together years it's nothing concerning did I make it sound concerning?! It's not rushed or anything.

She asked if I wanted to put my parents details, I said no. She said your partner did, so I agreed. I couldn't remember my dads middle name. Total mind blank. Then his job. I just kept repeating civil servant and nervously laughing. I asked her if I was doing ok and said I hope I'm not being suspicious. I am who I say I am I just don't test well. She said it wasn't a test. Anyway. She seemed to think I was insane, she gave me a pen to sign the documents and I didn't realise I'd held on to it and at the end she put her hand out and I took it and shook it, she just wanted the pen.

Overall, not the romantic if not slightly boring appointment I thought it would be. Be prepared for a less cute and slightly more stressful game of Mr and Mrs. And brush up on your parental knowledge.

What is this appointment for? I got a marriage license in the US and they asked us or 5 names, dates of birth, and if we were related. They didn't quiz us.

🤣🤣

When we did ours, the registrar told DH that he had done so badly that he must be genuine - anyone trying to get a licence for a fake wedding would be much better prepared! We’ve been married over 20 years so it all worked out…

He has got A LOT better at remembering important things since, or I wouldn’t still be here.

People looking to game the system will be extremely well prepared.

Or that’s what I told myself when I paused trying to recall DH’s birthday Which I know! But I’m crap under test conditions.

My dad couldn’t remember my stepmum’s dad’s name as he’d been dead decades, they’d been together ages and it just slipped his mind.

These things happen.

I mean to be fair it was hardly a 20 question quiz but it felt like one full names, dates of birth, occupation, where we born (I spent 30 seconds going back and forth between two towns because I couldn't remember which fiancé was born in and which he moved to just after until she interrupted and said England is fine.)

The parents details threw me, and made me feel like a terrible daughter..

Was this in the UK? I got married a couple of years ago and didn’t have anything like this. We just filled some forms in together with the registry office person.

I'm glad others have cracked under the pressure. I walked out of there wondering what on Earth I'd just done. I was a mess!

@FloraPostePosts

When we did ours, the registrar told DH that he had done so badly that he must be genuine - anyone trying to get a licence for a fake wedding would be much better prepared! We’ve been married over 20 years so it all worked out…

He has got A LOT better at remembering important things since, or I wouldn’t still be here.

I made my DH 'revise' for it for a few days before our appointment. The registrar then told us that it clearly wasn't a sham marriage (because we were both white...) so she wasn't going to bother with the questions. I was somewhat taken aback.

Anyway. She seemed to think I was insane

Yeh, I can kind of see how that happened.

Sounds like an awkward nightmare 😬

Ours was quite funny, the lady who did our interviews is the Mum of a friend of ours and she was convinced I had my now DHs birthday wrong!

I book church weddings, loads of people are a bit hazy about their parents middle names and what exactly their job description is!

My husband didn’t even need to be there when I submitted all the documents for our marriage license. The registrar simply checked them over and arranged for the license to be issued. This was in Scotland.

@cornflakedreams

Anyway. She seemed to think I was insane

Yeh, I can kind of see how that happened.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

At least she let you sign the documents so she must have thought you genuine - albeit a little crazy!

Don't feel bad. I couldn't even get my name right. In my defence she asked "what are you called?" I'm called by a nickname, not my official name. So I went to pieces.

When we gave ours, the guy in the appointment before us came out to ask his girlfriend what her job was

We relied on the fact we had no childcare and had our 18 month old with us as proof we’d known each other a while!

Yeah we both messed ours up. He got my middle names the wrong way around. I only just remembered his birthday It is a super weird situation and I also didn’t realise what it would be like!

I don’t remember any separate questions from our registry office wedding, I remember going in the room together to book and answering a few basics together. Names, place of birth etc
(I always remember the sign about it being a criminal offence to lie to a registrar and realising afterwards we’d totally transcribed in English a place name wrong! I was paranoid we’d be accused of lying under oath 😂)

We were rubbish too! I did have an idea of the types of questions and we’d talked about it but he kept doing this (admittedly unfunny) joke of going ‘oh yeah it’s fine I know your middle name is Sally and your birthdays is 12th May’ - with the incorrect details. But because he had done that he blanked on the actual right answer for a minute and then panicked it looked bad once it came to him so tried to overcompensate by babbling on an overly long story of why I have my actual middle name and how the alarm code used to be his year of birth but we changed it to mine but then decided that might be too obvious so now it’s something else altogether - obviously the registrar didn’t care at all!

I gave a really specific and totally incorrect job title for him (think Chandler Bing transponster) which wasn’t on the drop down list so we agreed on ‘IT manager’ which also wasn’t right so obviously wasn’t what he said when asked but the registrar just smiled and told him ‘well let’s just agree there’s computers involved’.

Just to warn you too if you’re having a civil ceremony you’ll have to answer questions on the day too - I think you have to do it separately but maybe not.
Can’t for the life of me remember what they were now, I do remember telling the nice registrar that I felt like I was going to be sick - ahhh so romantic.

@AnneLovesGilbert

People looking to game the system will be extremely well prepared.

Or that’s what I told myself when I paused trying to recall DH’s birthday Which I know! But I’m crap under test conditions.

My dad couldn’t remember my stepmum’s dad’s name as he’d been dead decades, they’d been together ages and it just slipped his mind.

These things happen.

Well we'd be knackered. DH and I celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary this September, and ge still thinks my birthday is the day before it is.

My dh didn't know my name.

I'm not even joking. He didn't know my job or my name (as stated on my birth certicate). Imagine I'm a Vicky - the registrar was like - is Vicky known by any other name? My DH was like - no, no what do you mean? She said, 'the name you're giving me doesn't match the birth certificate' and my DH actually said 'are you telling me she's lied about her name? Is Vicky not really her name?' He got so stressed about it the registrar said oh for goodness sake- it's VICTORIA! DH replied, 'oh yeah, yeah - I knew that' 🤣

Then when asked what my job title is - he actually replied 'I genuinely have no idea' 🤣 so she made him guess.

Luckily she did have a bit of a sense of humour.

We need to have our banns read in two parishes. When I went to see the vicar in my parish I remembered my fiance's date of birth but forgot mine. We both went to see the vicar in my fiance's parish and this time my fiance forgot his date of birth.

@Yissie if that can reassure you, I went with now DH to sort out the last documents for the wedding. The registrar asked me what my dad’s full name was and I couldn’t answer. I had to ring my parents, I asked my mum who stumbled too and had to call my dad so we had the exact names in the right order.
Now tbf he has 4!! names but still…

The registrar was

At the end of the meeting, the registrar said to us "you both need to know when you are actually getting married .... you both answered that you didn't know but the other person did" and then, with a big grin, he gave us both a post-it note each with the date and time of our wedding on!!!
I blamed it on baby brain as dd was a newborn.