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Original poster

Notice of intention to marry appointment. I think I nearly failed.

183 replies

Yissie · 13/04/2022 21:21

I mean in fairness I didn't research what this appointment actually was, I just bought the documents the registrar said to bring. I thought it would be quite exciting going in together and signing the documents together. No no. Get to the door. One sent back to car, separate interviews.They said they were going to ask me some questions. I fell apart Grin

They compared our answers. My fiancé had gotten my job wrong. I said my job and they said it wasn't what he answered, is there something less specific he might of put? It felt like a riddle. I kept saying last minute wedding meaning just planned last minute, we've been engaged for years. Then I realised they might think that and kept over explaining that it's not that last minute we've been together years it's nothing concerning did I make it sound concerning?! It's not rushed or anything.

She asked if I wanted to put my parents details, I said no. She said your partner did, so I agreed. I couldn't remember my dads middle name. Total mind blank. Then his job. I just kept repeating civil servant and nervously laughing. I asked her if I was doing ok and said I hope I'm not being suspicious. I am who I say I am I just don't test well. She said it wasn't a test. Anyway. She seemed to think I was insane, she gave me a pen to sign the documents and I didn't realise I'd held on to it and at the end she put her hand out and I took it and shook it, she just wanted the pen.

Overall, not the romantic if not slightly boring appointment I thought it would be. Be prepared for a less cute and slightly more stressful game of Mr and Mrs. And brush up on your parental knowledge.

OP posts:
HikingforScenery · 13/04/2022 22:49

Shaking her hand when she only wanted the pen 😂😂😂😂

Original poster
Yissie · 13/04/2022 22:51

Oh god I don't want to do it again on my wedding day. I felt like an absolute idiot walking out of their to the car which was bad enough, I don't want that walking down the aisle 😂

OP posts:
gamerchick · 13/04/2022 22:51

@FloraPostePosts

When we did ours, the registrar told DH that he had done so badly that he must be genuine - anyone trying to get a licence for a fake wedding would be much better prepared! We’ve been married over 20 years so it all worked out…

He has got A LOT better at remembering important things since, or I wouldn’t still be here.

I got told similar at my passport interview. I was achingly bad at the questions Grin
TakeMeToKernow · 13/04/2022 22:53

I was bridesmaid to a bride who get married in a naice hotel and she had questions ON THE DAY. I couldn’t believe it when we got there (in dresses, ready to go, guests waiting) and a registrar person whisked us to a room off the lobby as her DHtobe was being quizzed in another room.

EmmaH2022 · 13/04/2022 22:56

I am flummoxed
I didn't know this was a thing

How ridicuous.

HollowedOut · 13/04/2022 23:03

When exDH and I did ours in Kent many moons ago we were stuck there for hours because dh was born in Blackburn which for some reason wasn’t coming up in the drop down list and the man trying to fill in the form had never heard of it. He finally called for his supervisor, we thought “thank god someone is coming who will know we haven’t invented an entire town” but she hadn’t heard of Blackburn either. She kept asking if maybe dh had been born in another hospital in a bigger town because they didn’t have a list of every little cottage hospital in every village that would’ve existed in the 70’s. In the end we all just agreed that he had in fact been born in Bolton, that Blackburn had been entered incorrectly on both his birth certificate and his passport and probably didn’t even exist just so we could leave.

Ms2021 · 13/04/2022 23:03

Dh got the date of the wedding wrong twice, wedding was 6th, his 1st answer was 7th and when registrars said it was wrong he said 5th. It was the 3rd date we had because of covid and he turned up on the right date so all worked out ok

pennysays · 13/04/2022 23:06

@PanettoneMoly haaaa! That’s the hardest I’ve laughed all day!

Horriblewoman · 13/04/2022 23:08

I had to text my mum to ask if she had a hyphen in her name during our interview Blush

Melroses · 13/04/2022 23:09

When I gave notice on our wedding, the Registrar was lovely and helpful.

However, I made the mistake of going with DH to be to his appointment where he lived, and was grilled the nth degree in case I was fiddling the system by getting married in one place and living in another Shock (law has changed since.) I was completely blindsided.

This Registrar did everything by bashing it out on an old fashioned manual typewriter. Unfortunately she was still there several years later when DS was born, so DS has a birth certificate with holes where all the punctuation should be. Hmm

lborgia · 13/04/2022 23:15

You’ve reminded me of the marriage prep classes we did for getting married in church. It was lovely, I think 5 Mondays in a row, with a few other couples.

They provided pizza, and wine, and the vicar went through various elements that we all discussed as a group and then with our fiancés etc.

We still, 25 years later, remember one couple who just had walking disaster written all over them.

They were very posh, he was about 40, she was about 23, and honestly, I’ve no idea what was going on. It felt as if it had almost been arranged. Actually, now I’m writing this down, for the first time ever, I’m getting shades of Charles and Di, maybe it was similar? Anyway, he would go and get his own bottle of wine, and if allowed to, would hold court for ages on every subject. She sat there looking like an utterly beautiful silent startled fawn.

Like a car crash - tragic, but you couldn’t look away.

I hope that if it happened today, someone would question the situation.

Anyway, I was a bit worried because everyone else seemed to already have the answers to everything, whereas we really hadn’t got pat answers to all the big life questions. They were already answering the questions as a couple “well, we think….”.. whereas DH and I kept looking at each other saying “what do you think?!”.

I’d have miserably failed a test today by the sounds of it!

newrubylane · 13/04/2022 23:17

I forgot my my fiancé's dob (I always think the twenty-somethingth and have to check!) and couldn't tell her where he was born beyond 'somewhere in Germany'. Wedding was then cancelled due to Covid so we have to do it all again, and I intend to swot up for the next one!

Calennig · 13/04/2022 23:21

I had this DH didn't - it was like who want's to be an Millionaire.

I thought it was because he was in different bit of UK - I was moving up there in days. Our careers since we'd met at Uni had kept us apart and win end I'd said I'd move to where he was if he booked the wedding - which he did straight away.

However we know British and non British and two non British who got married in UK didn't get this level of questioning. In fact I don't know anyone who had this level of questioning.

I was asked about my future FIL middle name - which I was 90% sure he didn't have one but she kept asking if that was my final answer which made me second guess - and then suggested I needed to phone DH. I pulled him out a meeting to be told I was right future FIL had no middle name. Then had to ring back as I didn't know FIL date of brith - knew birthday not year.

Thing is I'm not sure of my DMum birth year. I also have friends and family who've had no contactwith man of their birth certificate since early childhood.

I had a passport, birth certificate all the wedding details knew DH stuff. I did get the distinct impression though she wasn't going to be happy until I phoned him.

They weren't having a great day they ang half an hour before appointment to say I couldn't pay by card as their system was done - shear luck I was still in town and near a cash machine or they'd re-book - but I was moving so that wouldn't work.

DH rocked up to his local office paid and showed documents and that was it.

gogohm · 13/04/2022 23:26

I book church weddings, nothing like you describe though we are told what to look out for eg coercion and what to do if we suspect the marriage isn't genuine. We can't process people who aren't British, Irish or have permanent leave to remain, they have to get a home office licence first

Ohbuggeritsme · 13/04/2022 23:28

When we had ours done the Registrar called me in first and asked me a she'd load of questions....afterwards I said are you asking DP the same questions, to which she said yes, I was like oh good luck, he forgets how old he is lol
She winked and said that's why we ask the women first so we can guide the men when it's their turn 😂

GuppytheCat · 13/04/2022 23:28

@HollowedOut

When exDH and I did ours in Kent many moons ago we were stuck there for hours because dh was born in Blackburn which for some reason wasn’t coming up in the drop down list and the man trying to fill in the form had never heard of it. He finally called for his supervisor, we thought “thank god someone is coming who will know we haven’t invented an entire town” but she hadn’t heard of Blackburn either. She kept asking if maybe dh had been born in another hospital in a bigger town because they didn’t have a list of every little cottage hospital in every village that would’ve existed in the 70’s. In the end we all just agreed that he had in fact been born in Bolton, that Blackburn had been entered incorrectly on both his birth certificate and his passport and probably didn’t even exist just so we could leave.
Blackburn definitely exists. Even has a hospital. DGM used to deliver babies there.
Clearthinking · 13/04/2022 23:31

I sat there with a hand resting over my 6 month bump and they believed we knew each other :-) i thought better to joke about it being the milk mans

22Giraffes · 13/04/2022 23:35

These have really made me laugh, I failed before we even got there as I managed to book the appointment in dh and another family members name (whom it would be illegal to marry Blush) managed to sort that out and then when we got their I couldn't think of the name for his job role, my mind literally went blank so the lovely registrar asked if I wanted to go and check with dh! I remembered it eventually but was sure we would be refused, luckily we weren't and got married shortly after Grin

DeadButDelicious · 13/04/2022 23:37

I'd forgot all about this! I don't remember the questions but I do remember us being separated for the interviews. It was almost 16 years ago though to be fair. Grin

nearlyspringyay · 13/04/2022 23:40

I had to go in a separate room and answer stupid questions like what side of the bed did I sleep on, what side was my toothbrush on, grandparents names. We are both England born and bred. This was in 2011.

womaninatightspot · 13/04/2022 23:40

@Toottooot

My husband didn’t even need to be there when I submitted all the documents for our marriage license. The registrar simply checked them over and arranged for the license to be issued. This was in Scotland.
This for me aswell. I'm sure when I took the paperwork back to register the marriage (has to be done within a couple of weeks then they issue the certificate) no questions then either.
ClaraPeggotty · 13/04/2022 23:42

Is this England only? I got married in Scotland last year and there was nothing like this. Each filled in a form, signed them and sent to the Registrar with birth certificates and passports.

ShinyPikachu · 13/04/2022 23:51

We're in Scotland and got married 5 years ago. We just had to take our documents to the registrars where they photocopied them all and with both of us there double checked our parents' details for the certificates and that was it. We were in and out in 5 minutes. We had to travel 30 minutes each way because we weren't getting married locally so it was a surprise we were done so quickly and had loads of time to spare in the city we were in.

We didn't have any interviews on the day either but we did have a humanist celebrant who had known both of us for years so I don't know if that helped us out there or if they don't do the questions on the day here.

ClaraPeggotty · 13/04/2022 23:51

@Toottooot

My husband didn’t even need to be there when I submitted all the documents for our marriage license. The registrar simply checked them over and arranged for the license to be issued. This was in Scotland.
Ours were posted in. Neither of us saw the registrar until the actual day. We weren't asked any of this.
SoggyPaper · 13/04/2022 23:55

It’s a totally different process in Scotland. I’ve done it in both England and Scotland (only been married - or engaged - once, but covid!). It was so much easier in Scotland. They let you do it by post and none of it feels like a test.

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