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Original poster

Notice of intention to marry appointment. I think I nearly failed.

183 replies

Yissie · 13/04/2022 21:21

I mean in fairness I didn't research what this appointment actually was, I just bought the documents the registrar said to bring. I thought it would be quite exciting going in together and signing the documents together. No no. Get to the door. One sent back to car, separate interviews.They said they were going to ask me some questions. I fell apart Grin

They compared our answers. My fiancé had gotten my job wrong. I said my job and they said it wasn't what he answered, is there something less specific he might of put? It felt like a riddle. I kept saying last minute wedding meaning just planned last minute, we've been engaged for years. Then I realised they might think that and kept over explaining that it's not that last minute we've been together years it's nothing concerning did I make it sound concerning?! It's not rushed or anything.

She asked if I wanted to put my parents details, I said no. She said your partner did, so I agreed. I couldn't remember my dads middle name. Total mind blank. Then his job. I just kept repeating civil servant and nervously laughing. I asked her if I was doing ok and said I hope I'm not being suspicious. I am who I say I am I just don't test well. She said it wasn't a test. Anyway. She seemed to think I was insane, she gave me a pen to sign the documents and I didn't realise I'd held on to it and at the end she put her hand out and I took it and shook it, she just wanted the pen.

Overall, not the romantic if not slightly boring appointment I thought it would be. Be prepared for a less cute and slightly more stressful game of Mr and Mrs. And brush up on your parental knowledge.

OP posts:
SoftwareDev · 13/04/2022 22:13

If it makes you feel any better.....

When my ex-husband moved here, as part of the Visa process he had to pass some sort of UK Culture test. He had a book he was studying.

I did some "sample" tests and FAILED! In fairness, the reason I failed is because the questions had an extreme English culture slant. There were questions about War of the Roses etc - being Scottish I studied Scottish history at school (Wars of Independence, Highland Clearances etc). I answered the couple of Scottish based questions accurately!

RonWeasleysBackfiringWand · 13/04/2022 22:14

Sounds like an episode of Miranda…

PanettoneMoly · 13/04/2022 22:17

My husband forgot my birthday and, when asked my job title, asked that they put Works In An Office. I’m an accountant Hmm

FloraPostePosts · 13/04/2022 22:19

@SoftwareDev

If it makes you feel any better.....

When my ex-husband moved here, as part of the Visa process he had to pass some sort of UK Culture test. He had a book he was studying.

I did some "sample" tests and FAILED! In fairness, the reason I failed is because the questions had an extreme English culture slant. There were questions about War of the Roses etc - being Scottish I studied Scottish history at school (Wars of Independence, Highland Clearances etc). I answered the couple of Scottish based questions accurately!

When my dear friend applied for British citizenship, she tested us on the questions she was revising for the test. None of the British born people round the pub table would have passed.
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 13/04/2022 22:19

I remember ours was quite a serious affair, one of us in the room with the registrar and the other out in the corridor with our three children Grin

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 13/04/2022 22:19

Is it too early to nominate this for Classics? I have been crying with laughter and now I am going to have to go and watch Green Card.

Bournetilly · 13/04/2022 22:20

😂😂
My DHs surname was changed when he was very young, he didn’t even know himself, I didn’t know. Once we found out they asked me to spell it, I didn’t have a clue it wasn’t a common name.

FruitToast · 13/04/2022 22:20

At least you didn't have to go back for a second appointment. Apparently I answered everything too well and OH had to ring his mum because he couldn't remember all his middle names or how to spell them!

RishiRich · 13/04/2022 22:21

DH and I had this. DH couldn't remember my birthday or my middle name 😂 He also got his own date of birth wrong on the actual day of the wedding, so it's wrong on our marriage certificate. We did get married though!

MrOllivander · 13/04/2022 22:22

Not marriage but I'm an only child. My dad once asked me the code for my phone (he was fixing it) and I said "my birthday"
Giant pause
"Er. When is that?" Hmm

My mum made him get married on her birthday so he only had one date to remember Grin

Firefliess · 13/04/2022 22:22

@PanettoneMoly

My husband forgot my birthday and, when asked my job title, asked that they put Works In An Office. I’m an accountant Hmm
That sounds a bit like my efforts to explain my job to DS when he was about 4 and the best I could manage was "writing and taking". He then asked my dad what he did, which also he also translated as "writing and taking" though we had very different jobs. You would hope a grown man could do better though!
FelicityBeedle · 13/04/2022 22:23

@WorkingItOutAsIGo
I agree, hilarious! He could answer my job title, don’t think I could for his if I got asked. It seems to bath day by day!

saggyhairyass · 13/04/2022 22:23

We had this in 2005. There was a big spate of fake marriages going on, immigration fraud, in our Borough. So we were interviewed separately. Also at about the same time friends of ours - long term partners for 15 years - in a different borough were being asked by the registrar to attend premarital counselling. They remain unmarried but very much still together.

Moonflower12 · 13/04/2022 22:23

@Firefliess
We've got ours in a couple of weeks. I'll have to tell DP not to say this. We both have grandparents from the same tiny Welsh village on our (separate) mum's sides and Jewish grandparents from London on our ( separate) dad's side. We always joke we're probably related!

NancyPickford · 13/04/2022 22:29

I'm totally baffled by this. I got married in Wandsworth Register Office in 1996. We had the pre wedding interview, and it was nothing like this. Just asking for birth dates, parents' names, our marital status (me unmarried, him divorced) and that was it!

HoobleDooble · 13/04/2022 22:30

@leafinthewind

Don't feel bad. I couldn't even get my name right. In my defence she asked "what are you called?" I'm called by a nickname, not my official name. So I went to pieces.
Please tell me you said "Leafinthewind" 😁
Mumdiva99 · 13/04/2022 22:32

I was married 2 years ago. We didn't have to do this.....although we did have a church wedding and had to do a whole day course first. Plus the vicar had known me around 30 years and we had 3 kids together....

FloraPostePosts · 13/04/2022 22:33

@NancyPickford

I'm totally baffled by this. I got married in Wandsworth Register Office in 1996. We had the pre wedding interview, and it was nothing like this. Just asking for birth dates, parents' names, our marital status (me unmarried, him divorced) and that was it!
Ours was not long after yours, but at a time where the new process had just been brought in, as I recall.
Katyrosebug · 13/04/2022 22:35

We did ours in October 2021, DH got my postcode wrong and house number (I was still technically registered there and hadn't officially moved out) then got my job title wrong. The registar made a joke of and said he didn't get that right first time

HoobleDooble · 13/04/2022 22:38

I don't remember separate questions doing the notices but we were talked to individually by the registrar on the day of our wedding to check we were both doing it of our own free will.

BashfulClam · 13/04/2022 22:43

We sent in our forms and then it was sent back and that was it. No interview or discussion. The only contact I had was to clarify my mums job as I had written ‘Shop Assistant’ and the registrar called to ask what kind of shop.

YfenniChristie · 13/04/2022 22:44

I remember making a point of memorising my DH's middle name before our interview. Felt very pleased with myself for remembering, only for the Registrar to look at me very puzzled and say that it didn't match the paperwork she had in front of her.

Turns out that somewhere along the line, his middle name had "disappeared" from his official documents. Caused a lot of confusion - but on the upside meant we didn't have to use it during our vows.

Also, I wasn't expecting the "are you related?" question. I had to ask how often people say yes, and apparently it's far more common than you think!

Monr0e · 13/04/2022 22:46

DH and I were taken I to seperate rooms. I remember we were questioned veerrryyy closely, mainly due to the fact we had the same surname Smile Lots of "are you sure you're not related? Not distant cousins by any chance?"

Hillary17 · 13/04/2022 22:46

We had the same. No idea what the appointment would be about, expected it to be for wedding prep. We had no idea the exact job titles, husband forgot the date we were getting married, forgot my Mum’s name. They’re used to it I’m sure! Ps. You have to do it all again on the wedding day!

presentandsometimescorrect · 13/04/2022 22:48

I forgot my husbands date of birth. I told them the 23rd not 24th. Sat there laughing like an idiot at my mistake, registrar less impressed. Husband mortified 😂 as for the appointment before the ceremony that wasn't too bad but I was so nervous I laughed through that and the ceremony too.

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