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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

IABU - anger over new neighbours

225 replies

OnTheGoAlways · 13/04/2022 18:10

I know I'm being unreasonable, I know I sound awful, and even my right leaning Mother told me off.

We live in a private rented semi-detached 3 bedroom house which costs 70% of my shitty wage. I am in situation after leaving a violent relationship over 300 miles away. I was homeless, but It never occurred to me to join a social housing register, we needed somewhere to live so I worked hard and found somewhere.

I am burnt out, grumpy, envious, bitter...basically all round ugly. I went back to uni and got a PG degree, I have a shitty car which needs multiple repairs. It's booked in for a service on Saturday which I can't afford so will cancel tomorrow. My children run around in clothes with holes or too small..I work full time, house is freezing..I've stopped showering, haven't done since Sunday (and that was at public pool) because of costs.

I didn't realise next door was a council house, there had been an elderly man living there who recently died.

Council have painted, cleaned, re-carpeted...now a new family are here. They drive a huge brand new car. And I am so angry I could cry. I know this is displaced...I just needed to vent.

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 13/04/2022 18:12

Oh I get it op. You are exhausted.

It is so hard doing it alone.

PotteringAlong · 13/04/2022 18:13
Flowers

Sometimes you just need a vent.

vodkaredbullgirl · 13/04/2022 18:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk guidelines.

Lbnc2021 · 13/04/2022 18:14

Oh dear

MsPavlichenko · 13/04/2022 18:14

I am astonished that they have decorated and put in new carpets and not sure how you know this?

No idea what your neighbour’s choice of car has to do with anything either. Yes, yabu.

HirplesWithHaggis · 13/04/2022 18:15

I'm surprised they've painted and carpeted, that's not usual. But I completely understand how you feel. :(

Sapphirejane · 13/04/2022 18:15

That sounds really hard OP, are you claiming everything you are entitled to?

Samcro · 13/04/2022 18:15

The car could be a mobility car.

ImJustNotMeAnymore · 13/04/2022 18:16

Never heard of a council.place being painted and decorated and carpeted for new tenants. Usually the council/ha too everything out and leave the place bare.
you have my empathy and sympathy. Some people really know how to swing the system.
Hang on in there 💐

ImJustNotMeAnymore · 13/04/2022 18:16

Rip out not too out.

Samcro · 13/04/2022 18:18

@ImJustNotMeAnymore

Never heard of a council.place being painted and decorated and carpeted for new tenants. Usually the council/ha too everything out and leave the place bare. you have my empathy and sympathy. Some people really know how to swing the system. Hang on in there 💐
How does anyone know that the new neighbors are swinging the system?
Original poster
OnTheGoAlways · 13/04/2022 18:20

I WFH 2 days a week and my desk overlooks their front door so I've seen the council going back and forth the last few weeks and saw carpets going in and painting and some electrics.

Our carpets are threadbare in high traffic areas.

I know I'm being unreasonable, no voting need, I KNOW I am. Of course there ought to be social housing...there also ought to be affordable housing. I KNOW my anger is displaced.

Costs and salaries feel so polarised right now.

OP posts:
LetHimHaveIt · 13/04/2022 18:20

'I am astonished that they have decorated and put in new carpets and not sure how you know this?'

I'm not. And presumably there's a carpet fitter van and/or people going in and out toting some carpet? Likewise painters and decorators.

It's not unusual for the council to redecorate and may have been essential if the old boy was a hoarder/chronically ill/senile/bedridden.

I do get it, OP; I do. You're being a bit U - but not grossly U.

70% of your wage on rent is surely unsustainable. I'd really think about moving to a cheaper area or trying to get your name on a housing list.

LittleOwl153 · 13/04/2022 18:21

Just checking OP - you have done the benefits calculator? I'm thinking you must be entitled to some help if rent is 70% of your wage and you have kids...

TabithaTittlemouse · 13/04/2022 18:22

Life is hard but you don’t know anything about them.

I was homeless, but It never occurred to me to join a social housing register, we needed somewhere to live so I worked hard and found somewhere

You might have got a newly decorated house, new carpets and a big car.

HailAdrian · 13/04/2022 18:27

Councils don't do that.

sst1234 · 13/04/2022 18:27

@TabithaTittlemouse

Life is hard but you don’t know anything about them.

I was homeless, but It never occurred to me to join a social housing register, we needed somewhere to live so I worked hard and found somewhere

You might have got a newly decorated house, new carpets and a big car.

This one of the most passive nasty replies on AIBU for a while. OP said she was just venting and you had to stick the boot in and rub it in.
Original poster
OnTheGoAlways · 13/04/2022 18:28

I know it could be a mobility 4*4 car, i thought that too, and they are only taking what is available. Also, the elderly man who lived there previously had dementia unfortunately so there may well have been accidents.

I'm angry at myself for being so short sighted. It's all a reflection of me.

I get a top up of universal credit already (if wages were higher than would be better). We live in Edinburgh were prices are very high. I was actually better off as a student than I am working when considering council tax, childcare etc.

And I meant 60%, not 70%, sorry.

Again, I know I'm being unreasonable, happy people don't feel like I do. I'm just fucking exhausted.

OP posts:
sst1234 · 13/04/2022 18:28

@MsPavlichenko

I am astonished that they have decorated and put in new carpets and not sure how you know this?

No idea what your neighbour’s choice of car has to do with anything either. Yes, yabu.

Are you wilfully ignoring the bit where OP said she was venting. Just read the post and both your pondering questions may be answered.
CSIblonde · 13/04/2022 18:30

If you are on a low income you can get benefit top ups. As pp said check the online benefits calculator. Are you claiming the 25% council tax discount for à single person?

Cheeseandlobster · 13/04/2022 18:30

I get it op. Really I do. Life can be grossly unfair. Could you join the social housing register? It might not be too late

TheSnowyOwl · 13/04/2022 18:31

Understandable vent OP and life really isn’t fair.

TokyoSushi · 13/04/2022 18:32

Ah OP, I hear you.

cutebutscary · 13/04/2022 18:35

@OnTheGoAlways have you contacted the benefits advice line ? Maybe you could be entitled to payments you aren't aware of ? I would feel pretty sick seeing it too 💐

Original poster
OnTheGoAlways · 13/04/2022 18:35

I'm trying to pull us up, I'm spending my evenings just now accessing free CPD courses, I have asked for a fee waiver for a course at work.

How can I ever afford secure housing for us. This is just ridiculous, I've actually allowed myself to get to a point where I'm jealous and angry at a family for accessing social housing. Honestly fml.

OP posts:
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