IABU - anger over new neighbours

[OnTheGoAlways]

I know I'm being unreasonable, I know I sound awful, and even my right leaning Mother told me off.

We live in a private rented semi-detached 3 bedroom house which costs 70% of my shitty wage. I am in situation after leaving a violent relationship over 300 miles away. I was homeless, but It never occurred to me to join a social housing register, we needed somewhere to live so I worked hard and found somewhere.

I am burnt out, grumpy, envious, bitter...basically all round ugly. I went back to uni and got a PG degree, I have a shitty car which needs multiple repairs. It's booked in for a service on Saturday which I can't afford so will cancel tomorrow. My children run around in clothes with holes or too small..I work full time, house is freezing..I've stopped showering, haven't done since Sunday (and that was at public pool) because of costs.

I didn't realise next door was a council house, there had been an elderly man living there who recently died.

Council have painted, cleaned, re-carpeted...now a new family are here. They drive a huge brand new car. And I am so angry I could cry. I know this is displaced...I just needed to vent.

Housing association is not council housing and its 80% of the market value of local rent. Housing association houses were not necessarily intended for homeless people. They are for people who qualify for affordable housing. I moved into social housing after renting privately for 10 years. I had to prove all my income to them to get verified to take the house. I was renting, I am still renting just not from a dodgy private LL. for that I am grateful as he was awful. The previous tenants to me were evicted at the end of their tenancy period for non payment of rent and it was a new build, they trashed it. It must have cost the HA thousands in unpaid rent and repairs.

Sorry but what is the point you're making to me?

[quote whyohehy]@XDownwiththissortofthingX you just don't like what I have said. Calm down. [/quote]
I'm perfectly calm thanks, I'm just not going to stand by and watch people make ridiculous assertions about people they know nothing about without challenging it.

Understandable. We work and are the squeezed middle. There is a huge four bed house opposite us which is affordable housing. The council did the same because the previous tenant had left it in such a poor state. It has been gutted, cleaned, redecorated etc. A lady moved in not so long ago with 'four' children, two of them are no longer dependants and don't live there so she has a four bed house with two children. She works, is quite well-known in the town, and has a partner, who doesn't live with her of course, and drives a fuck off sized car. She has also completely customized the house and built various stuff on the side including a conservatory. It is an incredibly unfair system and you have to get involved to 'win' basically.

@XDownwiththissortofthingX but they probably don't work harder than me and probably don't pay more tax. Nice idealistic thoughts but the reality is that most people are chancers in life and I'd be willing to bet the next door neighbours fall into this bucket and are taking all they can get and some more.

[quote whyohehy]@XDownwiththissortofthingX but they probably don't work harder than me and probably don't pay more tax. Nice idealistic thoughts but the reality is that most people are chancers in life and I'd be willing to bet the next door neighbours fall into this bucket and are taking all they can get and some more.[/quote]
"Most people are chancers"

Not only is this completely and utterly untrue, but it speaks volumes about the sort of person you are.

@XDownwiththissortofthingX ok sure.

[quote whyohehy]@XDownwiththissortofthingX but they probably don't work harder than me and probably don't pay more tax. Nice idealistic thoughts but the reality is that most people are chancers in life and I'd be willing to bet the next door neighbours fall into this bucket and are taking all they can get and some more.[/quote]
Sorry to burst your bubble but council housing is awarded on need, not income or being a "chancer". Its really hard to get social housing now so they must have qualified and be able to prove that.

Also the vast majority of benefit payments are in the form of state pensions, the second largest claimant group is people in jobs, jobs that just are not paying enough for them to afford to live. You want to moan? Moan about big business and the government for creating this situation not the poor sods who actually have to live in it.

So sorry you’re going through this. I was a working single parent with no child support and we had a HA home eventually- it was still impossibly difficult.

If you work from home and you have a car maybe you can move a bit further out. Also consider downsizing which I know is drastic but you have to prioritise. Also, if you only live in something you can actually reasonably afford, the council are more likely to house you. If that’s your long term plan it’s worth thinking about. Or if it’s to eventually own something (which is cheaper) you might need to rough it a bit in order to save. My daughter shared my bedroom until she was 9. Not ideal but we survived.

Also, having looked into all of this recently myself, it would be quicker than social housing and cheaper than private renting to buy a help to buy place. You only need a 5% deposit. I know you’re exhausted right now but with an end solution in mind you will cope much better.

You should also be entitled to tax credits because you’re working unless the system has changed. Also a 25% reduction on council tax.

You literally have no idea of their circumstances. And yes under SOME circumstances councils do paint and put carpet down and even provide white goods in some cases. It's rare but it does happen, but it depends on the circumstances around the move and the family but they don't just do it for fun, there has ti be a good reason. Get over it, you should have applied for a council house if you felt you qualified.

Well, it may cause a bit of outrage If LA started providing faux panelling to decorate and white goods.

I've always been left leaning, thought of myself as non judgemental, open minded and accepting, but its being eroded.

I am surprised at how much this is affecting me. I moved away from my desk to finish up the course.

Of course the car has something to do with it.

I once judged another new mum because I knew that she was trying to make money as an artist, had one child at primary school, and now had another new baby, and had a lovely council house (wouldn’t happen now!!), and a lovely new SUV. She had an au pair, and and I couldn’t understand why she wasn’t having to go to a “day job”, once the baby was older.

Turns out, she had MS.

I have never wondered about anyone’s circumstances in a judgemental way again.

Yes, there will be a few people who take some pride in never working.

Yes, there were will those who make the system work for them for a bit longer than they really need to, but honestly, it’s such a small percentage, and we already know that for most people it’s like bloody jumping through hoops getting any support at all.

The amount of money wasted on the feckless is really tiny compared to the entire social care budget.

So, I get you, OP, I really do, and I hope you can continue to get some outlet, whether here or somewhere else, but we really don’t know what is going on in other people’s lives.

Meanwhile, in theory, the children in a house like your neighbours are more likely to succeed, and stop the vicious cycle of generations on benefits, if they have a safe, clean, warm place to grow up. I do see the irony, when you’re having to put your thermostat on 14.

If in 2 months you find that they’re growing hydroponics in their shed, and sending their kids up chimneys, feel free to report them .

Some people live on credit.....

I have some friends who's brighthouse payments are (they are still paying it off) £300 A WEEK. Their house is like a palace, they have just bought a new pedigree dog despite being into another friend for several thousand pounds, part of which was the pay vet bills for their previous dog. Their car is very nice and brand new, however it is on a sort of "pay as you go" arrangement (not sure how it works) that if they dont pay their finance/rent/whatever it is, then the car doesnt work. She had to borrow the car of the friend she is into for several thousand in order to get to work when she didnt pay the bill one month. I wish I was making this up.

One day, and I think it will be soon, their house of cards will come crashing down......

Just seen your last post - I’m guessing panelling is actually easier to keep clean/lasts longer than wallpaper/painted plaster?!

Councils don't put carpets into properties.

They are landlords so will still have to maintain houses they own.

@PyongyangKipperbang - this happens at so many levels though. We live in a very expensive area, overseas, and the number of Porsche suvs etc is mind boggling. I didn’t’ realise that most of them are on leases.

I have come to know someone near us well enough to now realise that they have one of these leases, and a HUGE number of credit cards, and they pay the minimum.. she was very open about it, said it was amazing that she could buy all this stuff.

Freaks me out because they only have one salary, and his industry is really diving at the moment. If he lost his job, they’d be completely stuffed.

I know, it’s only one family, but I suppose what I’m saying is that there are people everywhere who live in a house of cards, and for whatever reason, cannot see that it can’t last forever.

I wonder where it comes from?

Actually I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all.

It isn’t about you being jealous or unkind about your neighbours. It’s exhaustion from your current situation. The feeling of having to work work work, and for what?

It is unfair - no one should have to prioritise their heating over food, or stop showering to save money. It’s not right.

I am ashamed sometimes by the state of this country

@burstcouch

Councils don't put carpets into properties.

They are landlords so will still have to maintain houses they own.

They do.

I'm in Scotland in a council house and all they done was paint all the walls magnolia.

I had to go through the Scottish welfare fund to get white goods, bed, carpets etc. They asked though if I had any other way of getting the things like a credit card, which if I did I'd hardly be going through them.

I can decorate etc. I'm here for as long as I want.

I remember someone on here saying because I worked full time (6 months after moving in) that I should move to private rent to let someone else in need move in.

Well now 6 years later I'm relying on benefits again but I now have 2 children. I'd dread to think of my state of affairs if I'd moved.

Been reflecting on this, and although it is worst/more obvious in some places, i think there is a huge overlap between those who are best off on benefits and those who are worst off in employment, paying their own way. There should not be, work should always be the best option but neither should those on benefits be living in poverty. I think it is a by product of government strategies, fractured systems and generally shitty decision making around social policies.

@ImJustNotMeAnymore

Never heard of a council.place being painted and decorated and carpeted for new tenants. Usually the council/ha too everything out and leave the place bare. you have my empathy and sympathy. Some people really know how to swing the system. Hang on in there 💐

Strange conclusion to reach.. why would you think new neighbours are swinging the system?

Councils do redecorate if a property is in a bad way after a long term tenant. They also do electrics etc to make them safe. It sounds as though this is probably the situation with your neighbours' house.

OP you know your anger is displaced but it's not surprising you're frustrated. Your life is hard. There are long waiting lists for council and social housing as not a lot available but do register for both and check you are receiving all the help you and DCs are entitled to.

Good luck - you never know, your new neighbours may actually be life enhancing.

@HailAdrian

Councils don't do that.

Some do, sometimes..

Wheresmywoolyjumpers I completely agree with you. What a mess our social policy is.

For those doubting the council doing the decorating and carpeting it happens in my borough. Friends moved into a council flat six months ago and they got a £250.00 voucher for decorating.
They had to do the work themselves though but they were over the moon as they didn’t expect anything at all.
OP, I hear ya, it’s hard.

My council do that it seems. The house behind me was occupied for many years by someone, as in decades. When they got moved on (to a care home facility) the council came in, ripped out all the old, painted and replaced the windows. It does happen.

to those who are saying it isn't usual to recarpet and redecorate before re renting a housing association or council house, it isn't unusual, my relative lives in one and the housing association did this prior to him moving in, I have known this to happen to more than one person.
OP things will get better, I was you once, but things do improve! just stay with it and do what you can, you are doing your best in a difficult situation