Your daughter wants to travel across North America alone, would you worry?

[goergia]

DD is 21. She feels a bit bored and discontented with her life. She met a boyfriend at 15 and they’ve been together ever since, he moved in with us. They were about to get a rental flat together but she found out he had cheated on her. She got rid and was utterly depressed for 6 months. She’s now getting her life back together.

She never really bothered with college and certainly not uni, and she works full-time in a retail job. She has a good bit of money saved up that she meant to spend on decorating the flat, but that plan has gone. She can’t afford to rent alone unless in a house share.

She’s today declared that she’s bored with her life and wants some spontaneity and adventure. She’s been abroad with us but only ever all inclusive Spain holidays, she says she feels an itch to travel. She’s decided to road-trip across America and is handing her notice in at her job. She’s booked a one-way ticket to New York for May (it all came about very suddenly, she said she feels she just needs to go and sees no point in waiting). She tried to get friends involved but they just wanted a week in New York and then to come home, and didn’t want to commit to a long road-trip. She doesn’t know how long she’ll be there and said she wouldn’t want to put a deadline on coming home, but she’ll get a 6 month travel visa at least for the US but then there’s Canada as well.

She’s just going to stay in hotels/motels/hostels and travel around on trains and buses and see the sights, she wants to do the US then move up to Canada.

It all sounds terribly exciting but also I can’t help but be worried sick. I feel like I’m always hearing about awful things happening in the US to women. And the political situation. Especially as she wants to cover the south as well and she mentioned wanting to see the Appalachian region. Have any women here travelled in the US alone?

Also just to clarify I’m not worried about her mental health so much anymore, she’s doing very well now. I totally agree with her that she needs to get away and have some adventure. I’ve got no concerns that she’s in the kind of mental state where she’d be getting away to harm herself.

I went travelling alone in Zimbabwe at 19! She'll be absolutely fine in the US and Canada. Just make sure she has the correct visas and a plan of where she intends to stay. How exciting for her!

Trains aren’t a viable option.

Rubbish. I've traveled all over the US on Amtrack and it's brilliant.

If you're concerned about the "political situation" advise her not to discuss politics with strangers. As others have said, people who have different views from you are not inherently evil.

As others have said, arriving without a return ticket will make ICE strongly suspicious that she plans to overstay her visa.

I'm a New Yorker. There is something about me that makes tourists feel comfortable about approaching me and we get loads of Brits here traveling. Americans love the British. She will be fine.

We're parents. We worry regardless.

Sounds amazing! Good on her for doing it, a lot of people talk about doing this sort of thing but never take the plunge.
She will be fine, is English speaking and everyone in USA are very friendly and helpful!! Obviously there will be weirdos, like everywhere, but if she's sensible she will be fine. She will meet plenty of other like minded travellers on her way, on the buses and hostels.
Could you meet her for a week somewhere?

I left New Zealand at 21 and travelled by myself around Europe by bus and rail for 9 months. I started off on a 2 week organised bus trip which kind of dropped me in it gently before heading off on my own. I met a few friends for a few days here and there and met loads of people on day trips and at hostels who I'd travel for a few days with. It was the trip of a lifetime. This was pre smartphones and I survived.
I've since travelled to every continent and USA is definitely the easiest place, is a lot of fun and a beautiful country.

I did it at 19

• amazing, life changing and still one of the happiest times of my life, 30 years later.

She’s an adult, let her get on with it.

Hmmm I'm on the fence about this one. I was in The States for two years alone and it did get a bit hairy sometimes. However I've travelled to lots of other countries alone and been fine. I went there with an American boyfriend originally which was fine and when I went back alone, it made me quite vulnerable to men who would approach me. The first day I got there a man flashed his penis at me on the bus. The reason I believe for all of this is that there is a lot of poverty, homelessness and struggle out there so this causes a lot of mental health issues out there which aren't supported very well, so you do have to be very very careful out there if you are alone. I definitely wouldn't go back alone without going to stay with my friends I've made over there and I'm in my thirties.

I worked in the East, travelled across the South to the West and back. NY was probably the dodgiest part of the whole trip.
People in the South will be charmed by her accent, they get less Brits than NY, D.C. and LA/ San FRan.
And honestly? Canada is much harder to get around, and a bit boring!

She’ll meet other travellers, Brits, Aussies, Europeans in the hostels and places she stays. She won’t be on her own, she’ll find people to hang with, travel with, stay with.

Plus she can be in contact the whole time - I didn’t have a mobile when I travelled, and barely had the internet. I used to come tact home every few weeks… you’ll have Niki h more contact with her.

‘ The first day I got there a man flashed his penis at me on the bus’

I had that happen to me the first week at a respected U.K. university… and in the park once… not sure those kinds of things are limited to the US

I've lived in the states and I wouldn't let my DD or DS come to that set off across the US alone. Unless they were doing a road trip by car ( sounds like Dd is bussing). It is huge and the thought of them landing in a greyhound bus depot in the early hours -not good.
Camp America or similar sounds good - then you can travel with others once you know them.

No, mines going backpacking across South America this summer, also 21

She seemed very confident about the visa situation but having read this thread I think she’s buggered up big time???

@goergia

She seemed very confident about the visa situation but having read this thread I think she’s buggered up big time???

She has, and it'll be an expensive lesson to her if she doesn't sort it out.

I’m going to suggest she go and do New York, come back and then plan out her main trip PROPERLY.

@goergia

I’m going to suggest she go and do New York, come back and then plan out her main trip PROPERLY.

She's still going to have issues doing that on a one-way ticket with no UK ties of school or job to return to.

I’m shocked tbh as she’s usually quite sensible, I think she just like the idea of being spontaneous and flying off into the sunset without a care in the world.

The cost of holidaying around the US + immigration rules will likely cut her trip short anyway.

I know a person who rocked up at the airport to fly to the US without even an ESTA. Her argument - she's British, why would she need a visa? I actually lost a lot of respect I had for her that day but she learnt the hard way.

Your DD will be fine, let her live her life, 21 is prime time for travel, beak ups, adventures etc.

@gwenneh

She can book a return can’t she though and go for a week or 2?

She may as well just go and have a normal holiday there and come back seeing as she’s already paid for the flight.

@Ahgoonyegirlye

‘ The first day I got there a man flashed his penis at me on the bus’

I had that happen to me the first week at a respected U.K. university… and in the park once… not sure those kinds of things are limited to the US

My point was that it set the tone for the entire stay I had there. İt wasn't just a one off thing, it was my welcome to the place and the way things carried on from there.

[quote goergia]@gwenneh

She can book a return can’t she though and go for a week or 2?

She may as well just go and have a normal holiday there and come back seeing as she’s already paid for the flight.[/quote]
Yes, if she books a return, has proof of her money and her accommodation plans, then she should be able to get through immigration without too much fuss.

As it stands now though, with no bookings, no job or school to return to, and no return ticket they will deny her entry. So she'll have to do a bit more planning before getting on the plane.

Seriously, just let her have an adventure. Let her find her way

She can probably amend her flight to add a return or book a different single flight back. I don't know how much money she has saved up but for example a loaf of bread in San Fransisco was ten dollars about four years ago and I know that's an extreme example but food out there is very very expensive. Even most regular people struggle and rely on food banks, churches and food stamps. You would need a LOT of money for six months.

@Catcrisis

She's 21 and it's the USA not Columbia. You're being massively overprotective

It's Colombia not Columbia! It's also a beautiful country and your ignorance at not even being able to spell the name correctly, shows your views on it should be totally ignored.

OP, yes I'd worry, I'd worry about Cornwall on her own, but dig deep and let her go with your blessing.

We bring them and we give them wings with which to fly.

Suggest to her to apply for Camp America. They sometimes have last minute places to fill. You get a bit of spending money, they sort the visa and you can go off and travel with the friends you make afterwards.

@Peppapigforlife

She can probably amend her flight to add a return or book a different single flight back. I don't know how much money she has saved up but for example a loaf of bread in San Fransisco was ten dollars about four years ago and I know that's an extreme example but food out there is very very expensive. Even most regular people struggle and rely on food banks, churches and food stamps. You would need a LOT of money for six months.

Where on earth were you shopping?! I have friends in the Bay Area and it's nowhere near $10 for a loaf of bread -- even the fanciest one, from Whole Foods, delivered isn't $10.