Your daughter wants to travel across North America alone, would you worry?

[goergia]

DD is 21. She feels a bit bored and discontented with her life. She met a boyfriend at 15 and they’ve been together ever since, he moved in with us. They were about to get a rental flat together but she found out he had cheated on her. She got rid and was utterly depressed for 6 months. She’s now getting her life back together.

She never really bothered with college and certainly not uni, and she works full-time in a retail job. She has a good bit of money saved up that she meant to spend on decorating the flat, but that plan has gone. She can’t afford to rent alone unless in a house share.

She’s today declared that she’s bored with her life and wants some spontaneity and adventure. She’s been abroad with us but only ever all inclusive Spain holidays, she says she feels an itch to travel. She’s decided to road-trip across America and is handing her notice in at her job. She’s booked a one-way ticket to New York for May (it all came about very suddenly, she said she feels she just needs to go and sees no point in waiting). She tried to get friends involved but they just wanted a week in New York and then to come home, and didn’t want to commit to a long road-trip. She doesn’t know how long she’ll be there and said she wouldn’t want to put a deadline on coming home, but she’ll get a 6 month travel visa at least for the US but then there’s Canada as well.

She’s just going to stay in hotels/motels/hostels and travel around on trains and buses and see the sights, she wants to do the US then move up to Canada.

It all sounds terribly exciting but also I can’t help but be worried sick. I feel like I’m always hearing about awful things happening in the US to women. And the political situation. Especially as she wants to cover the south as well and she mentioned wanting to see the Appalachian region. Have any women here travelled in the US alone?

Also just to clarify I’m not worried about her mental health so much anymore, she’s doing very well now. I totally agree with her that she needs to get away and have some adventure. I’ve got no concerns that she’s in the kind of mental state where she’d be getting away to harm herself.

I travelled alone in the US a couple of times in the 1990s - had a great time. Guess you have to be as careful as you would anywhere. I don’t know if/how the current political situation there would affect anything, but at least there are plenty of ways to stay in touch and you don’t have to carry much cash around these days.
I’m a bit envious just thinking about it, as it’s such an interesting and diverse country to explore. Assuming she can afford it, I’d encourage her to go for it.

I SUGGEST SHE LOOK ON COOLJOBS.COM. ALL JOBS HAVE HOUSING OPTIONS AND ARE IN AMAZING PLACES LIKE NATIONAL PARKS AND ARE SEASONAL. MY KIDS WORKED AT YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK DURING THE SUMMER AND HAD A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE. MET AMAZING PEOPLE AND LIFELONG FRIENDS. THEY HAD LOTS OF TIME TO HIKE AND EXPLORE. THERE ARE SUMMER AND WINTER JOBS AND THAT LEAVES TIME IN THE SPRING AND FALL TO VISIT HOME OR EXTRA TRAVEL.

It would worry me sick but I hope I would be able to dig deep and let her go with my blessing. There is always facetime Instagram etc
So you can keep regular contact. Perhaps you could fly over and meet up for a week whilst she is there?

id tell her to look into the visa status more, she can get a esta which she can spend up to 90 days in the US by applying online
the 6 month tourist b2 visa its unlikely she will get before may as you need to go for a interview at the us embassy in London

id let her go with my blessing and ask she keeps in touch

Double check if she needs to have a return flight booked, ideally a flexible one so she can move it.

She's 21 and it's the USA not Columbia. You're being massively overprotective

She needs to make sure she gets the correct visa. She also needs to make sure she has enough money, she may even be asked to prove she can fund herself for 6 months if she doesn't have a working visa. And having a one way ticket will also be suspicious to immigration

I went to Australia alone at 20 in 2009 and really enjoyed it. It'll probably do her the world of good. If she doesn't like it then she can always come home.

Let her. It's a marvellous experience which will be of great value in other areas of her life.

I was travelling the world alone long before 21 and so were my sons.

I imagine I would worry (oldest DD is only 15 so not likely to head anywhere yet) but I would also support her hugely.
I did similar when I was 23. Left in May one year and came back in August the following year. It was the time of my life! I set off alone but met up with various groups of (previously unknown) people along the way. Hotels, motels, greyhound buses, even bought a car for a few months to travel with someone I met.
I should think your DD has a fairly sensible head on her shoulders to take the same precautions there as here - and it’s much easier to keep in touch now. My DM had to settle for a sort-of-weekly-ish phone call using prepaid phone cards.
I did it again in my early 30s but I was older and it was a different experience!
Really glad I did though - the memories are some of the best times, I’ve stayed in touch with lots of people I met and, now I’m older and settled, I’m glad I ‘lived’ when I was younger.

How utterly brilliant! But - she absolutely must not rock up with no return flight booked UNLESS she has a work visa. The tourist ESTA isn't enough. Would she look at Camp America type work/travel holiday - that would mean her visa would be sorted.

Would I worry? Yes, a bit. Would I encourage - yea absolutely 100%

BUT SORT THE VISA - this cannot be stressed enough.

There's a facebook group called Girls LOVE Travel for solo female travellers. There are lots of Americans in it (predominantly so I'd say) and they share great tips about where is safe, where to avoid etc. Might be worth you and her having a look at where she fancies going and getting some tips?

The alternative is to consider a group tour. When i was 21 i did trips with Intrepid Travel - it's pricier than doing it solo, but it gives you a bit of reassurance that she has access to a group guide plus she can make friends.

Whatever happens, make sure she has excellent travel insurance that includes USA medical costs!!

I'd worry of course but I'd be supportive and practical (and secretly proud I'd raised such a confident young woman!!)

Yes, I'd worry. I wouldn't want her to do it. I'm sure some survive but I wouldn't want to risk it!

I'd worry, but I'd tell her to go and wouldn't let her know I was worried. She needs to make sure she's got a working phone with plenty of credit, battery pack, good amount of cards and cash etc.

I doubt she'll be wanting to go anywhere dangerous? The south is beautiful - New Orleans, Charleston, Atlanta, Austin etc. are all wonderful places with a diverse population - she's certain to find safe and clean hostels there and likeminded travelers to hang out with.

Does she want to hike the Appalachian trail? She could definitely do a portion of it, but it's hard going. Again though, there are hostels along the way and it's a popular thing to do.

If I had to offer any advice it would be to stay in backpacker hostels (Motels can be sketchy, but not all of them!) and go from College Town to College Town ie a place with a University and big student population.

I travelled around California with some girlfriends at a similar age and we definitely had the best time in College towns.

Not sure what the issue is with the political situation? Anything specific? I mean I'm pretty horrified by the new restrictive abortion laws in some states, but I doubt they'd impact her trip?

Also, awful things happen everywhere. Sarah Everard was abducted and murdered in CLAPHAM, so if you're going by that measure, you'd never leave the house.

I did a month long trip alone when I was 19 after working for 4 months first. I had a ball. She will be fine and if she has issues then she will learn skills to get out of them. I am not sure that America is much more tricky than parts of the UK.

There are many red flags which may end this before it begins. With a one-way ticket, no job, and no significant ties to the UK she may have trouble entering the US at all.

If she is stamped in upon entry under the visa waiver programme, she will have 90 days, not 6 months. To get a 6-month visa she would need to apply in advance at the US consulate, and she would need to demonstrate the money to fund herself for the whole visit and that she has significant ties to the UK to return. Again, a one-way ticket and no job won't help her. I have done my share of US visa paperwork and it is not easy to get a B-2 -- the first question you're asked is why you need more than 90 days.

I have traveled extensively across the US. She is 21. She will be fine as long as she is a reasonably normal 21-year-old. The reason you are always hearing about things happening is because those things are newsworthy, not every day occurrences. The US, like the UK, is largely comprised of a population doing the same things -- getting up, going to work, coming home, and generally trying to get by. The news channels don't get viewing figures and websites don't get clicks by reporting the fact that the US is just a place, like any other, with a mix of people like any other. It's not a war-torn sinkhole, and the people are pretty much the same as the UK.

Of course you’re going to be worried about your daughter travelling far away but it won’t be any more hazardous than traveling around the UK or Europe. She will need to be aware of all the risks of being a woman alone of course but the US isn’t a wild lawless society. She will have a great time.

That said, it does sound as if she hasn’t quite thought through all the details and I’d suggest talking some stuff through with her.

Firstly, I may be wrong but I think she’s unlikely to be let into the country without a return ticket, that will be a big red flag for immigration. I think she needs to buy a flexible return.

Does she really have enough money to travel around for six months? I’d want to budget $100/day at least for accommodation, food and travel. I would try to counsel her to think about getting a job for 3 months and then travelling for six months. It may mean delaying the trip to get job and visa organised but I think it would end up being a more rewarding experience.

Lots of countries will hesitate to let you in if you turn up at their airports with no return ticket booked. She needs to be sure she knows what she's doing in this regard.

Good for her - sounds like an amazing adventure!

Just make sure she has the right visa (especially if she wants to take on some form of employment while she's there) and ideally, a flexible return flight home.

If she's a canny sort with money, an emergency credit card is never a bad option.

No,I was doing more on my own younger

I went alone and loved it. I would recommend doing something like camp america like I did to make friends and make some money to start. My sister travelled around South America, Australia and Thailand on her own aged 21- she loved it and made so many friends out there. Your dd will have an amazing time! It’s normal to worry but good on her for being so spontaneous and deciding to do something amazing

@StopStartStop

Yes, I'd worry. I wouldn't want her to do it. I'm sure some survive but I wouldn't want to risk it!

Wow. Please don't pass this attitude on to your children, especially any daughters you may have.

I'm concerned she's booked a ticket without a visa - that way madness lies....

An ESTA only lasts 90 days, so she needs a B2 visitors visa.

She'll need to demonstrate she has the funds to pay her way through the USA for the six months with no need to work. She will also need to show she has ties to the UK and plans to go home. This might include a return or open return ticket, but it doesn't necessarily stop them issuing the visa.

She needs to do this in person at the US Embassy these days as well, as she'll be interviewed and fingerprinted - uk.usembassy.gov/visas/tourism-visitor/where-to-apply/

This is easier to read than the US Embassy website: www.boundless.com/immigration-resources/b-1-b-2-visitor-visa-explained/#:~:text=When%20you%20enter%20the%20U.S.,for%20up%20to%20one%20year.

Would she consider doing a camp America type experience thus summer to give her experience efirst. She could then extend her stay or return another time to do solo travelling. At least with camp America she would be part of an organisation so not totally alone. She could also do a university course abroad or with a year abroad so she qualifies and has international experience at the same time. Getting qualified could really take her life in a different direction and out of the boring domesticity she found herself in at a young age. I'm glad that she's now single and can have adventures and not stuck to a boring domestic life at such a young age.