Your daughter wants to travel across North America alone, would you worry?

[goergia]

DD is 21. She feels a bit bored and discontented with her life. She met a boyfriend at 15 and they’ve been together ever since, he moved in with us. They were about to get a rental flat together but she found out he had cheated on her. She got rid and was utterly depressed for 6 months. She’s now getting her life back together.

She never really bothered with college and certainly not uni, and she works full-time in a retail job. She has a good bit of money saved up that she meant to spend on decorating the flat, but that plan has gone. She can’t afford to rent alone unless in a house share.

She’s today declared that she’s bored with her life and wants some spontaneity and adventure. She’s been abroad with us but only ever all inclusive Spain holidays, she says she feels an itch to travel. She’s decided to road-trip across America and is handing her notice in at her job. She’s booked a one-way ticket to New York for May (it all came about very suddenly, she said she feels she just needs to go and sees no point in waiting). She tried to get friends involved but they just wanted a week in New York and then to come home, and didn’t want to commit to a long road-trip. She doesn’t know how long she’ll be there and said she wouldn’t want to put a deadline on coming home, but she’ll get a 6 month travel visa at least for the US but then there’s Canada as well.

She’s just going to stay in hotels/motels/hostels and travel around on trains and buses and see the sights, she wants to do the US then move up to Canada.

It all sounds terribly exciting but also I can’t help but be worried sick. I feel like I’m always hearing about awful things happening in the US to women. And the political situation. Especially as she wants to cover the south as well and she mentioned wanting to see the Appalachian region. Have any women here travelled in the US alone?

Also just to clarify I’m not worried about her mental health so much anymore, she’s doing very well now. I totally agree with her that she needs to get away and have some adventure. I’ve got no concerns that she’s in the kind of mental state where she’d be getting away to harm herself.

Would she be interested in doing some volunteering along the way?
www.lovevolunteers.org/destinations/volunteer-usa
It might help her (and you!) to have a bit of structure and it would be a built in way to meet others?

It’s safer than a lot of countries for women. The distances in USA are HUGE though. The distance she wants to travel is a LOT of time in a car.

@SleeplessInEngland

There are far more dangerous places to go, she just needs to be careful - as she would be anywhere.

A one-way ticket will probably make for suspicious customs officials though. She should buy a return that allows her to rebook.

This is a good idea (rebookable ticket). SIL (23) is currently teaching English in Latin America (on her own) and booked a rebookable ticket because she wants to travel around once the school year is over and isn’t sure when/where she will be coming back from so it gives more flexibility.

I’d rather she just went to Canada tbh.

Is it worth encouraging her to just do New York and the Canada?

*then Canada

Yes, visa, return flight and insurance must be watertight. Money is also likely to be an issue if she can’t do legal work, so the trip could be shorter than she thinks!

Wouldn’t try and influence where she goes - shit happens everywhere!

@goergia

Is it worth encouraging her to just do New York and the Canada?

What do you think happens in the US that doesn't happen in Canada?

@GrandDana

I SUGGEST SHE LOOK ON COOLJOBS.COM. ALL JOBS HAVE HOUSING OPTIONS AND ARE IN AMAZING PLACES LIKE NATIONAL PARKS AND ARE SEASONAL. MY KIDS WORKED AT YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK DURING THE SUMMER AND HAD A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE. MET AMAZING PEOPLE AND LIFELONG FRIENDS. THEY HAD LOTS OF TIME TO HIKE AND EXPLORE. THERE ARE SUMMER AND WINTER JOBS AND THAT LEAVES TIME IN THE SPRING AND FALL TO VISIT HOME OR EXTRA TRAVEL.

Alright, chill yer boots!

I would not assume it's a given she'll get the 6 month visa, especially if she can't show she has ties to the U.K. such as a mortgage or a job to return to. You also need to factor in the timing of getting an embassy appointment and a visa approval, as others have mentioned.

That said, I would absolutely encourage her to do it.

First things first, OP - you can't just rock up to North America with a one way ticket. She must know that.

I travelled extensively, very young, hitchhiking etc, and had the time of my life.

Yet I would feel desperately worried about one of my children going travelling solo, never mind the hitchhiking!

It's so hard to let them go but your daughter sounds like someone at the beginning of finding out who she is and that is a wonderful thing.

She is already showing courage, determination and independence by going ahead on her own.

Very quickly she will hook up with other travellers and the information sharing amongst travellers is everything, they help to keep each other safe. She will likely make new friends quickly and travel in small groups for parts of her journey.

And as others have said, she can check in regularly with WhatsApp etc.

Remember that millions of people live in the USA and most of them are fine.

I did a road trip through the national parks in NA about the same age. Either slept in the car or the tent. Hiked into the wilderness. Didn't spend long in the cities. This wasn't very long ago.
I went with a boyfriend and what I did would have been extremely dangerous as a lone female. It was fairly hairy at time even being in a couple. I would be very worried about her 'travelling alone'. However I have travelled alone but never been alone, met people and travelled with them until separated and travelled with someone else.
I think Aus would be safer for lone traveller than NA, honestly I would be worried sick by that. Even totally non-malicious, unexpected things can happen and it's dangerous with no one else there to make a call/go get help/give you a hand etc etc

She could have a look at Canadian working holiday visas but I think they only offer a set number of them each year.

I travelled a few times in 90s in USA & Canada. First time I got a B-visa 6mth via bunac.org and then it stayed valid for 10years. First time I got grilled by immigration as I looked like a backpacker and had long dated air ticket. Other times I dressed smartly had 2-week return ticket which I subsequently moved the dates once in the country and has no problems. If she’s into National parks www.nps.gov/getinvolved/volunteer.htm they take volunteers on for 3-4mth contracts with housing.

She may find herself on a plane straight back home.
Arriving in the US on a one way ticket and having no job to return to will be a giant red flag for overstaying and illegal immigration to them, no matter what she tells them.
Immigration control in US are brutal. I'm an American.

Might this offer volunteering opportunities? Need to check visa / immigration requirements www.workaway.info/

It's normal to be worried, but you can't stop her. She's 21. An adventure like that will be good for her. It might help give her some direction and independence.

@AmericanStickInsect

I did a road trip through the national parks in NA about the same age. Either slept in the car or the tent. Hiked into the wilderness. Didn't spend long in the cities. This wasn't very long ago. I went with a boyfriend and what I did would have been extremely dangerous as a lone female. It was fairly hairy at time even being in a couple. I would be very worried about her 'travelling alone'. However I have travelled alone but never been alone, met people and travelled with them until separated and travelled with someone else. I think Aus would be safer for lone traveller than NA, honestly I would be worried sick by that. Even totally non-malicious, unexpected things can happen and it's dangerous with no one else there to make a call/go get help/give you a hand etc etc

Sleeping in the car is dangerous anywhere 🤨

I did Work America at 19 ( like Camp America but better pay and not having to deal with children). Travelled for 3 weeks afterwards. Wish it had been longer but needed to get back for Uni. Life changing experience. I gained so much confidence. This was pre mobile phone days and I survived just due on Greyhound buses and trains. Definitely need good insurance and check out visa requirements. Mine was a special with visa as part of the BUNAC scheme and required confirmation of funds in dollars and a return flight. I hope your daughter has an amazing time.

I went abroad at 21. It was one of the best years of my life. I can imagine it must be scary but I'd do my best to support her as it'll be amazing for her

I would tell my daughter to do this given her situation. It will be a great experience for her.

I'd encourage her to pre book a couple of big stops along the way so she has a vague plan of direction.

Also book her return flight, she could do out from LA perhaps so she gets to go across the country.

Get her to look up ticket types and bus routes now as well as perhaps cities she could meet friends in along the way.

I worked as a camp counsellor when I was 19 and 20. Did some travelling after. It was expensive and the paperwork was organised for me. I did it through bunac.org that have a variety of options

Good for her!

Sounds enormously more fun than working in retail and moving in to a rental flat with your BF.

She'll be fine ( as long as the legalities are all in order as PP has covered!).