Your daughter wants to travel across North America alone, would you worry?

[goergia]

DD is 21. She feels a bit bored and discontented with her life. She met a boyfriend at 15 and they’ve been together ever since, he moved in with us. They were about to get a rental flat together but she found out he had cheated on her. She got rid and was utterly depressed for 6 months. She’s now getting her life back together.

She never really bothered with college and certainly not uni, and she works full-time in a retail job. She has a good bit of money saved up that she meant to spend on decorating the flat, but that plan has gone. She can’t afford to rent alone unless in a house share.

She’s today declared that she’s bored with her life and wants some spontaneity and adventure. She’s been abroad with us but only ever all inclusive Spain holidays, she says she feels an itch to travel. She’s decided to road-trip across America and is handing her notice in at her job. She’s booked a one-way ticket to New York for May (it all came about very suddenly, she said she feels she just needs to go and sees no point in waiting). She tried to get friends involved but they just wanted a week in New York and then to come home, and didn’t want to commit to a long road-trip. She doesn’t know how long she’ll be there and said she wouldn’t want to put a deadline on coming home, but she’ll get a 6 month travel visa at least for the US but then there’s Canada as well.

She’s just going to stay in hotels/motels/hostels and travel around on trains and buses and see the sights, she wants to do the US then move up to Canada.

It all sounds terribly exciting but also I can’t help but be worried sick. I feel like I’m always hearing about awful things happening in the US to women. And the political situation. Especially as she wants to cover the south as well and she mentioned wanting to see the Appalachian region. Have any women here travelled in the US alone?

Also just to clarify I’m not worried about her mental health so much anymore, she’s doing very well now. I totally agree with her that she needs to get away and have some adventure. I’ve got no concerns that she’s in the kind of mental state where she’d be getting away to harm herself.

I wouldn’t worry - the US and Canada are pretty safe, it’s the same language and fairly similar culture. I have cousins her age who live in the states (Virginia and WV so sort of Appalachians area) and I don’t worry about them living their lives. My concerns would be more financial - how is she going to pay for it and she needs to make sure she has good insurance that would cover all medical bills if required.

www.usasummercamp.com/

I'd sign up for couchsurfing - really good site - have had plenty of brilliant experience with it - you stay in a local's home for a night or two. I would rather spend money on a hire car than on accommodation and do that - greyhound buses are NOT what a romantic young traveller thinks they are - even the poorest American has a car, so people on buses are usually on them because they want to avoid detection or can't get a driver's license for some reason ie. illegal status. I won't tell you what happen on a greyhound the first year I was solo in the US but it made me very glad I hadn't taken them! They actually aren't that much cheaper than flying so again, people on them aren't on them because they are poor.

I did the same at 21 and my parents were worried but I was fine and your daughter will be too.

Perhaps you could buy her membership of Hostelling International as a gift? It’s a great organisation. There are HI hostels all over the US and Canada and they are good quality. She will meet so many fellow travellers and might even end up travelling together with some of them.

www.hiusa.org/membership

Your daughter will have a wonderful time and now is the time to do it.

YABU there’s nothing wrong with America, much safer than Ibiza etc

I spent 2 summers in the US at age 19 and 20. I travelled alone, but had a work visa and a job lined up so a bit different to your daughter. Even so I spent time at the start and end of the summer travelling round. I had an incredible time and loads of fond memories, I made friends through working and got to travel to different places in the US with them.
I know my parents were worried about me, but for the most part I was no less safe than I would have been at home. Its great to experience these things when you're young and have minimal responsibilities. I no longer have the freedom to just go off and do as I please so I'm glad I did it when I could!

The only other thing I would try to encourage her to make sure she has is comprehensive travel insurance. You do not want to be taken ill in the USA without it.

I have DDs the same age and I would be worried.

However I would keep this to myself and cheerily wave her off. It sounds an incredible trip and it’ll prob be life changing for her. Be proud she’s so adventurous.

I did similar in the late 90s which was before mobile phones and the internet!! My poor mum was very stressed but I had the best summer of my whole life.

I did camp America which meant I could work and travel.

I have travelled alone all my life
Loved every minute and made loads of friends
You learn to be Street smart. Good for her x
For USA for that length of time she needs to sort a visa first though

I travelled around American on my own at 23 and did so my Amtrak, train and bus. I don't go out partying and stayed in my hostel most evenings. I had fun. I felt safe. My mum worried. I have travelled to over 100 countries on my own since then. She worries still. She worries about me all the time still. I have kids myself now and I worry about them all time. I would recommend you see someone to talk them about how to manage your anxiety.

There are some great hostels in the larger cities and she will meet all kinds of fellow travellers. Also, Americans love British people and will fall over themselves if she needs help but she should be absolutely fine.

She needs a return flight or they will send her back. She needs to show she has enough money. She needs an address of where she is staying when she arrived. And finally don’t tell immigration she has quit her job or they will see it she wants to stay and outstay her welcome.

I think most parents worry about their kids travelling alone for the first time, so it's absolutely normal and natural that you're worried - but America is a great, easy start for someone who is travelling solo. No language barrier, a billion places to stay, internet access everywhere for keeping in touch, a country extremely well geared-up for road trips and generally just as safe for a woman travelling alone as any other developed Western country.

Obviously she should do her research and make sure she has medical cover with her travel insurance and so on, but in general it's a great trip for a solo traveller and I hope she has a fantastic time!

A lot of places I've visited in the USA seemed (and are statistically) safer than some of the UK.

Obviously there are areas to avoid.

I think it's likely she'll be offered illegal work - I was and I have many friends who have been - I know two people who went, worked illegally, then went legit and have never come back.

I chose not to work illegally - it's a risk because if found out you may be deported and banned from going back, but the friends I know who did it were OK.

She should be prepared for a grilling at US immigration and (especially) Canada - they are pretty strict so you need to have your story straight.

As others have said, she needs to figure out the visa situation. Rocking up at the airport without one or an ESTA and no return ticket means this adventure will be over before it's even begun.

If she wants to be away for longer, why not look into a Working Holiday Visa for Canada? That way she can stay for up to a a year and earn some money while she's there to fund her travels.

I don't think it's inherently unsafe but i think I'd be more concerned about someone who has never done any sort of independent travel. I'd be tempted to persuade her to join an organised group, even if just for a couple of weeks as no doubt she'll find like minded souls to travel on with and share costs. Does she drive? Bus and rail is fairly limiting in much of the USA. I did most of my travelling in a 400 dollar car.

I've travelled the world and never felt so unsafe as in the USA. I suppose people will disagree, but there are so many addicts and homeless people using backpacker hostels as places to live. I would definitely head for YHAs as they have more rules. I would find it safer in Asia or Oz/NZ.

Highly doubt she will pull that off in May. My DD had to apply for Visa to work in the USA, and the application process was horrendous. She had to hire an immigration lawyer, costing $$$$, because it was so complicated. The interview at the Embassy in London is the final step, and when you go on to the Portal to book this, the wait can be as long as 6 months.

@Catcrisis

She's 21 and it's the USA not Columbia. You're being massively overprotective

Behave

I spent a month travelling across Canada alone at 21, it was an amazing experience and I never felt unsafe.

Also, just to add, I travelled the USA extensively in my 20's (not alone though), and one wrong turn off a Highway can see you in real danger. We took the wrong exit outside Washington, and ended up in what can only be described as a ghetto. Burnt out cars everywhere, gangs on street corners, and then my OH (at the time), announced we were running low on gas. When we found a gas station to fill up, there were bars on the windows. Don't be fooled either, in to thinking that places like Hollywood are nice - Hollywood is a dangerous dump - even Burger King had an armed guard. A lot of research and planning would be my recommendation, in order to stick to safe areas, which of course there are!

I’d encourage her to look at campamerica. She’ll work at a summer camp and get spending money, then they get a month to travel and tour- usually with friends she’ll have made. Much safer and will get help with visas

And don't even try to ring the Embassy in London for help or advice. They won't speak to anyone. Ever.

My DD has just come back from a month travelling alone in America. She is also 21. It was difficult to buy a Sim card there and we spent a lot of money on phone calls. LA is not safe unless you take ubers and stay in upmarket areas. Hostels aren’t usually in salubrious areas. Lots of homeless tent camps and extreme poverty. We didn’t really appreciate the distances, even in the cities, the things you want to see can be a distance apart, public transport isn’t always that good and it is a car culture so public transport isn’t a mix of people like it is here. DD found herself on buses with naked people, aggressive, shouting people, crazy people and nobody did anything. I’m sorry to be brutal, but if your daughter has the funds to stay in hotels and take ubers everywhere, I think she will have a good time and it will be as safe as anywhere. If you try to travel there ‘ on the cheap’ you can quickly end up in areas and situations which are unpleasant and/or dangerous. Dd visited a mix of big cities, southern and northern - LA was very much the most difficult, then San Francisco and Seattle. New York felt safe during the day. Southern State capitals felt much safer. She had problems with being alone on greyhound buses and found it cheaper and safe to fly between cities. Trains aren’t a viable option. There are cheap hotels at airports and the transport links into town are generally very good.