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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think 8am to 6pm at nursery/school+wraparound is just too much

571 replies

magicsoosh · 13/04/2022 03:57

Apparently Mon-Fri 8am to 6pm childcare is normal.. AIBU to think that's a lot? That's more hours than most full time jobs

OP posts:
Lemonnhoney · 13/04/2022 03:58

They aren't working though are they

Original poster
magicsoosh · 13/04/2022 03:59

They're out of the comfort of their own homes though. In a loud environment where they have to conform to the needs of a group.

OP posts:
Fleur405 · 13/04/2022 04:05

Well it has to be more hours than most full time jobs otherwise one parent (usually the mother) couldn’t have a full time job!

Moodycow78 · 13/04/2022 04:05

What does it matter to you, do you have kids in nursery for the time or do you just like to dump on working parents who have no choice 🙄🙄

UpToMyElbowsInDiapers · 13/04/2022 04:06

“More hours than full time jobs”… that would be exactly the point. Drop the kids off, go to work, pick the kids up. If toddlers were booted out of daycare BEFORE the end of the workday, they would be in a bit of a pickle!

Dairymilk50 · 13/04/2022 04:10

It is a lot OP. I think if that's what you know from the off you will be less aware as its something the parent has always done so it's become the norm. As it's so common too.

TulipsGarden · 13/04/2022 04:19

Ok cool, don't send your children to it then.

OhRiRi · 13/04/2022 04:24

My kid loves it. Asks to go to nursery on the days they don't go

gorillalala · 13/04/2022 04:28

Thanks for making working parents more rubbish about it than they already do Hmm

gorillalala · 13/04/2022 04:28

*feel

Scottishskifun · 13/04/2022 04:31

@magicsoosh

They're out of the comfort of their own homes though. In a loud environment where they have to conform to the needs of a group.
Hmm most children love to be socialising, playing and having fun in a child friendly environment.

Yes your being unreasonable, working parents need childcare which means they can get to work and back.

I don't really see the point in this thread other then to cause division and no doubt get a fee of the "oh I couldn't leave my child with strangers" posters!

TheKeatingFive · 13/04/2022 04:33

What's your issue though? If you don't want your child to be in those hours, don't send them 🤷‍♀️

Or are you having a pop at other parents who might not have any choice?

Sideorderofchips · 13/04/2022 04:45

My younger two are out 7am till 4.30pm for breakfast club, school, after school

It's so I can work.

SickAndTiredAgain · 13/04/2022 04:51

@magicsoosh

They're out of the comfort of their own homes though. In a loud environment where they have to conform to the needs of a group.
Out of their comfort zone? My DD (nearly 3) adores nursery, talks about it when she isn’t there, chats about her friends, what they do, what they will do the next day. She can’t get inside fast enough each morning once she spots one of her friends.

Don’t send your child if you don’t want to.

icklekid · 13/04/2022 04:54

I’m a teacher I drop them off at 7.30 so I can get to work for 8, I leave work at 5 to pick them up at 5.30… the alternative would be to leave early and take work home but I would burn out quickly having 0 down time. Sometimes I have to do after school club which means I can’t leave until 5.30!

My children are fine but I don’t see an alternative, they are actually at Childminder’s but after school clubs are not the same as school! No pressure and time to relax/play especially in the summer outside!

sst1234 · 13/04/2022 04:58

Do you have a better alternative OP? Something that would be more acceptable in your view? Like having one parent (usually the mother) stay at home and sacrifice their financial independence, or perhaps one parent staying at home when they can’t afford to and rely on welfare - both of which set a bad example for the child?
The only better alternative I can think of is having supportive family nearby who can help with childcare, not everyone has that privilege.

Coyoacan · 13/04/2022 05:05

i do think it is a long time but surely it is not the fault of parents but of the madly long working hours that are accepted as the norm in the UK.

I'm old enough to remember when teachers told us that automation meant that we would not have to work more than 16 hours a week. But companies and the government have made no concession to families and the well-being of children.

MissChanandlerBong80 · 13/04/2022 05:12

Odd thing to post about at 3am. Do tell us your alternative suggestions OP, we’re all ears.

Obviously people use childcare because they need to work so should they quit their jobs and rely on welfare to stay at home perhaps?

Undertheoldlindentree · 13/04/2022 05:19

Full-time working parents often don't have a choice. And while they're about it, they're generally contributing tax and NI that helps support the infrastructure and services that all of us, including fully or partly SAHP use. I get that we'd all like to consider a ideal world where we could build our travel arrangements and working hours totally around the child, but that's rarely possible.

HollyBollyBooBoo · 13/04/2022 05:22

Nice bit of parent shaming Op. Thanks for that.

Tell me what your alternative is please?

Ivyonafence · 13/04/2022 05:24

I agree with you. It's too much for most children.

It's a necessity for many though, we are lucky to access quality and regulated childcare.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 13/04/2022 05:38

Why are you posting about this at 3am OP?

It is a long time to be in childcare imo, but unfortunately that's the way things are for many people. Though, having taken a huge hit on my earning power to be at home for my kids, my 4yo wails when she sees a group of her friends going off to the childminder's together - so your perception of the situation may not be the same as theirs.

Fwiw I have a friend who is a SAHM where both kids (age 2 and 5) do nursery 8-6 / after school club and holiday clubs on every day of each holiday, and that I find heartbreaking. My children are a pain sometimes but the idea that someone would choose to send them away for that much time for no good reason has basically ruined the friendship for me. It's like her kids are nothing but an inconvenience and the less she sees them the better.

LollyLol · 13/04/2022 05:38

I agonized over this when I had my first; why have a baby then park it in nursery all day? Felt so guilty. But the reality has been a lot better than I expected.

Both my kids have done full time nursery as I worked. Although it means long hours away from a primary carer, kids get used to it and then actively enjoy it; I don't see any damage is done.

My dd started at 11 months part-time and went up to full-time 8am to 6pm aged 2.5 yrs. It was a lovely nursery with a stable team of staff, loud at times but not all the time. DD was genuinely never out of her comfort zone after the first few weeks of settling in. She left well-adjusted and outgoing and 100% ready for school (which was actually less hours as her school refused to provide Breakfast club to Reception as it was "too much" for them to handle!)

My DS started nursery later as I was a sahp parent for nearly 3 years. It was a lot harder to get him settled at nursery as he went only 2 days a week at first; things were a lot more comfortable for him as soon as he went up to FT (all day, 5 days a week), because he benefits from the routine and seeing his friends who are also there every day. As a part-timer he kept missing out on fun activities by only being there 2 days a week. He does love weekends, for sure, but he understands that mummy and daddy work. He does less hours than his sister; 8.45 to 5pm, as I now wfh.

Regarding wrap-around at school - it's just a well-organised play date really! My dd thrived on being able to play with a large group every day after school.

Tbh my kids are not sensitive to noise and are both very loud, a lot of the time! I'm not sure if they are loud because of nursery or by nature, but it doesnt seem to have caused any harm!

Dunnoburt · 13/04/2022 05:41

I had to do it, needs must, and yes it was too much for my little one.

LaurenKelsey · 13/04/2022 05:41

My children grew up going to before and after school programs. They were there 9 or 10 hours every school day. Guess what? They are well adjusted, independent adults. No harm done. 😒

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