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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think 8am to 6pm at nursery/school+wraparound is just too much

571 replies

magicsoosh · 13/04/2022 03:57

Apparently Mon-Fri 8am to 6pm childcare is normal.. AIBU to think that's a lot? That's more hours than most full time jobs

OP posts:
Tiddlywinkly · 13/04/2022 05:43

This reply has been deleted

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Villagewaspbyke · 13/04/2022 05:44

Depends on the child and the age imo. I had a nanny for my dds when they were little rather than nursery as I work long hours and they are sensitive souls (dd1 in particular). That’s not a choice everyone has though.

Now they are at childcare or school from 8:30 to 6 in weekdays. They enjoy it as the childcare is straight after school and many of their friends go. It’s like playing with their friends after school every day with organized activities. They enjoy it abs it’s not stressful for them.

PopOfNothing · 13/04/2022 05:47

I was a solo mum for many years, would you rather me be on the benefit at the taxpayers expense instead of working?

shazzer1978 · 13/04/2022 05:47

I’m one of the lucky ones who works those hours looking after them. It is a long day for all of us but as a PP has said the kids aren’t working, they’re playing, socialising, eating, some are sleeping.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 13/04/2022 05:51

Its not ideal but unfortunately many parents have to do it to put food on the table, clothes on their backs and a roof over their head. I'm sure we would all love those things for free but....

QueenOfDuisburg · 13/04/2022 05:53

I think it depends on the childcare and child. Mine have all used nursery and now use school wraparound (7am until 6.30pm here)! They have all loved it. It's very local to us too, so a lot of the children they have known since being babies are still in their friend groups years later. After school wraparound is just an extended break time where they play with their friends -they ask if they can go now then they do because they have a lot of fun!

CrabbyCat · 13/04/2022 05:54

As PP have said, I think it depends on the child. My oldest DC is a home body, and also strongly introverted. He enjoys school but needs that time at home either playing out in the garden or reading. He'd find FT childcare very difficult, luckily I'm able to work school hours. He doesn't enjoy holiday childcare either, he's not unhappy while there but he's reluctant to go and would really rather be at home. My middle one is much more social and happily goes off.

Username917778 · 13/04/2022 06:03

Yeah it's a lot. It sucks. Don't really have another option though. Kind of need to work.

over2021 · 13/04/2022 06:07

Yeah, I send my kids for fun OP. I live the long days and big bills....

Envy if you'd like to make a monthly donation to my mortgage I can reduce my "too long" childcare hours. I'll send you my bank details now.

MintyMoocow · 13/04/2022 06:12

Always have thought that kids were better doing something with other children than stuck at home. Never understood why Mothers think being glued to their side is the best thing for any child.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 13/04/2022 06:12

I mean - you're right.

It is a lot and those are long hours for babies and toddlers but what's the alternative when people have bills to pay?

howtomoveforwards · 13/04/2022 06:17

Of FFS, OP. What faux naivety. People have to work for a living. They have to get to and from that work. Sometimes work is a distance away,

I was a single parent when my children needed child care, They were always first to be dropped off and usually last to be picked up. Because air needed to work. They survived. What do you suggest I should have done? Not work? Would that have helped?

Buffy81 · 13/04/2022 06:19

OP, do you have kids? Do you live in the UK, if you dont, what is the norm where you are from? I only ask as trying to get an understanding of why you would ask something like this

In this day and age what's the alternative apart from one parent either having to either give up work and claiming benefits or find a part time job to fit in with school which is mainly going to be mum. With the cost of living it tends to need both parents to cover all the running costs of the household. Also some people don't enjoy being at home all the time, I like going to work for the company and conversation and i get to contribute to the household income

My eldest (7) goes to breakfast club which starts at 7:45 and finishes at 5:45, DH tends to pick him up just after 5:00 every day of the week. He enjoys going and it gives him the chance to play with his friends and have some fun. My youngest (3) goes to nursery 3 days a week, helps now that we get some of the hours funded as he gets to do stuff that he wouldnt get to do at home and the other 2 days a week he goes to grandparents otherwise we would not be able to afford full time for him

By doing this, its also helping them to make friends and to develop there personal skills, learning how to play with others

Like a previous poster said, it s going to be longer than a normal working day as you have to take commuting into consideration. I do a 9-5 but it takes me anywhere from 30miin-1hr depending on traffic and how far away from where I park to walk. I average on a 45min commute in total each way

workingmomlife · 13/04/2022 06:19

@magicsoosh

They're out of the comfort of their own homes though. In a loud environment where they have to conform to the needs of a group.

Your ignorance is astounding

I'm actually embarrassed for you that you felt the need to post questioning this

Most parents don't want their children in for such a long day but we have no choice - there is such a thing as a commute

I'm guessing you were a STAHM or never had children in which case you are not qualified to comment

CarryonCovid · 13/04/2022 06:20

It's an awful lot everyday. Most familys I know flex their hours a bit so 1 parent can drop a bit later and the other pick up earlier.

WhatNoRaisins · 13/04/2022 06:22

Everyone's different. As an adult I think I'd struggle with those hours and it would have exhausted me as a child. I'm not one of those MN introverts who doesn't enjoy spending any time with other people but there's a limit and I also need downtime.

Other children would be fine and get a lot of benefit from more time with their peers.

Tumbleweed101 · 13/04/2022 06:23

They are long hours and some children are there before me and leave after me every day. Day to day the children are fine but they do burn out and need their breaks as much as parents need a break from work. They are having fun but it is a busy environment and it is fairly structured, especially as they get older. You can tell by behaviour when they are needing a break as they get silly, won’t listen and irritable with one another. On the flip side most of them make solid friendships that can last all through school and treat the nursery as home with good relationships with the staff as carers who spend much of the waking time with them. It’s one of the reasons we should be investing in better pay and conditions for staff. High turn over means these full time children have to adjust several times to new staff otherwise which isn’t so good for their development.

PaTCh64355 · 13/04/2022 06:24

Oh do piss off

Surgarblossom · 13/04/2022 06:24

Why does it bother you? Like the majority have already said, it's what we have to do as working parents and most children love being at nursery, my DS cannot get through the nursery doors quick enough in the morning to see his friends and begin a day of fun and learning.

HollysBush · 13/04/2022 06:28

Did you post then fall asleep, OP? Be interesting to hear your view.

HELLITHURT · 13/04/2022 06:29

What would you suggest that two full time working parents do? Have you offered to have the children to have them in a home environment for at least part of that time? Are you putting your child in nursery for this time and worried? Or just judging?

OfstedOffred · 13/04/2022 06:30

Apparently Mon-Fri 8am to 6pm childcare is normal.. AIBU to think that's a lot? That's more hours than most full time jobs

Oh..fuck..I had no idea..I better give up my job then. My mortgage and bills and food will all pay for themselves, right?

Keithlovessmash · 13/04/2022 06:33

If you are a single parent, or a couple who both need to work full time to keep a roof over your children’s head, then what exactly are you supposed to do?

And unless you can teleport, if you work 9-5 then you have to drop the children off and travel to and from work.

20viona · 13/04/2022 06:35

What a load of shit. Yes it's a long day but I work 8.30-5.30 so letting them out at 3 wouldn't really help me!

TabithaHazel · 13/04/2022 06:36

It is a long time I agree but it’s not like they are on the go/have constant stimulation the whole time. Nurseries are generally nurturing places when kids can have a lot of downtime/naps etc. I’ve been lucky enough to never need to use full wrap around care as both DH and I have very flexible employers but not everyone is in that situation and needs to use it which is pretty obvious. You seem to be implying that parents that use wrap around care have a choice in the matter. Many don’t.

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