Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

To think 8am to 6pm at nursery/school+wraparound is just too much

571 replies

magicsoosh · 13/04/2022 03:57

Apparently Mon-Fri 8am to 6pm childcare is normal.. AIBU to think that's a lot? That's more hours than most full time jobs

OP posts:
SleeplessWB · 14/04/2022 18:56

@Meadmaiden

I agree, my children are just finishing nursery and I don't know any that do full time nursery hours. All the mums work 3/4 days or compressed hours and many do a day with grandparents too.

Qwill · 14/04/2022 19:24

@SleeplessWB

I would love to do that, sounds ideal. Unfortunately we have no grandparent support and our jobs don’t support compressed or part time working (not for want of trying!). It’s funny how it seems to so polarised. My nursery is all full time children, and a PP said the same. I wonder if it’s down to location?

HardbackWriter · 14/04/2022 19:37

[quote Qwill]@SleeplessWB

I would love to do that, sounds ideal. Unfortunately we have no grandparent support and our jobs don’t support compressed or part time working (not for want of trying!). It’s funny how it seems to so polarised. My nursery is all full time children, and a PP said the same. I wonder if it’s down to location?[/quote]
I definitely think it's due to location. When we lived in London nearly all the children were in full-time - we moved out to the home counties and hardly any are here. Though I think it's also to do with their age - I have one in baby room and one in preschool and the babies actually tend to do longer hours/more days on average because no one is putting their babies in unless they both work whereas the average is lower in preschool because there are quite a few families with a SAHP who wouldn't send their DC if it weren't for the free hours.

Qwill · 14/04/2022 19:47

@HardbackWriter

Yes, I think that’s true. I’m in London and all the parents (and my colleagues) work full time. Luckily mine absolutely love nursery, they’re so active it was really difficult entertaining them at home, especially the crawling stage when you can’t let them run riot in a park (let’s face it London homes for the majority aren’t the biggest!). I appreciate that for some children it’s not ideal, and that must be so hard when you have to work full time.

Hippoevens · 14/04/2022 20:23

@magicsoosh

Apparently Mon-Fri 8am to 6pm childcare is normal.. AIBU to think that's a lot? That's more hours than most full time jobs
You’re right that’s way too much
birthdaytou · 14/04/2022 20:30

To those saying it's too much, what is your alternative suggestion when both parents work full time and the family don't have grandparents to rely on?

HardbackWriter · 14/04/2022 21:04

[quote Qwill]@HardbackWriter

Yes, I think that’s true. I’m in London and all the parents (and my colleagues) work full time. Luckily mine absolutely love nursery, they’re so active it was really difficult entertaining them at home, especially the crawling stage when you can’t let them run riot in a park (let’s face it London homes for the majority aren’t the biggest!). I appreciate that for some children it’s not ideal, and that must be so hard when you have to work full time.[/quote]
We both work four days a week, which means the children have three days of childcare (but I compress my hours and DH commutes, so those days are long ones). That's pretty average around here but what's not is the fact that we both work PT rather than just me - I get a lot of annoying comments about how amazing DH is for having a day with the children, and a bit of sad face about the fact I work 'so much' Hmm

SleeplessWB · 14/04/2022 21:57

@Qwill

You are probably right about location. We are Midlands and I don't know anyone where both parents work full time (I did it for 18 months between Dd1 and Dd2 and people were really surprised).

Rockmehardplace · 14/04/2022 22:03

I think it’s far too long a day for a tiny child to be out of their own environment, I think they need more 1:1 time with a loving caregiver in the early years.

But….not my child, not my choice, not my problem.

AntarcticOwl · 14/04/2022 22:14

Most full time jobs are at least 9-5 or 8-6 including an hour to commute (which is common in big cities). Also work doesn't involve as much fun, play and running around with friends.

Qwill · 14/04/2022 22:33

@HardbackWriter
I feel your pain!! We did shared parental with a few months of overlap (one month off together in the summer halfway through, then I went back and he had a few months solely without the baby, but I was working from home so did do lunches etc so he got a bit of a break that I didn’t get in the first 5 months!). Not decrying my husband at all as he’s been amazing, we are completely equal with parenting, housework, ‘organisation mental load’, but the amount of people that have said what a trouper he is, what an amazing job he’s doing - it makes both of us laugh. He’s very quick to correct, but why is it the default that the man is doing half or less than the work ‘amazing’, when it’s nearly the opposite for women!!

herethereandeverywhere · 15/04/2022 16:09

@worriedatthistime

"As well I know"?! Erm, nope. I gave my own personal experiences and choices. If you choose to feel put down that's on you.

I could choose to feel 'put down' or offended by the OP and those agreeing with that POV but I don't. Everyone can do their own thing. It would be great if me sharing my experiences provide even a little bit of reassurance to mums with kids in FT nursery, especially those ones who have no other choice.

CorsicaDreaming · 15/04/2022 17:17

@birthdaytou

To those saying it's too much, what is your alternative suggestion when both parents work full time and the family don't have grandparents to rely on?

Ideally both parents do not work full time.

But financially that can be almost impossible

Or work flexibly so you can tag team between you and be there for pick up but then work into the evening...

But that will only work for some kinds of jobs.

worriedatthistime · 15/04/2022 18:05

@herethereandeverywhere but you were offended by the OP

birthdaytou · 15/04/2022 19:27

@CorsicaDreaming I'm not sure where you live, but here in London that is impossible for most families. It's usually an hour commute into work as well as the hours there. Also when one goes part time it is very often the mother who expected to do so and be the one to let their career suffer. In an ideal world workplaces would be more flexible.

BIWI · 16/04/2022 20:13

I've long since thought that women like Fairy should have their rights taken away from them, so creating a third class of sexes - the handmaidens. They shouldn't be allowed the vote, or any of the other benefits and rights that have been fought so hard for, by women who preceded us.

As for where to start with the homophobia and anti-abortion/contraception - I don't have words that I'd be allowed to use on Mumsnet. All I can say is that the Catholic church has a lot to answer for.

surreygirl1987 · 17/04/2022 00:00

My little boys are in nursery 7:30am until 6pm every weekday. Because I have a full time job. What is your point?

tillytown · 17/04/2022 01:18

It's a very long day for kids. I worked in a after school club years ago, the kids really didn't want to be there, they were tired and just wanted to sit down and relax. Not much we could do about it though, their parents needed to work. It sucks, but it's not forever

HiJenny35 · 17/04/2022 01:45

Come on let's be honest it's crap, yes kids like other kids and to play but not from 8am till 6pm every day. It's far too long, they should be at home with a parent being read to and cuddled and drawing and no nursery setting however nice can give what a parent can. What can we do about it, no idea, I think it's dreadfully sad that even if women can afford to stay at home they are made to feel "less" of a role model because they aren't working, house prices are so expensive usually both need to work full time and long hours, I think it's dreadful for children especially in the first 5 years, we have so many studies highlighting the importance to having prolonged 1-2-1 care by the main care giver and I think it's reflective in the behaviour we are seeing at school and the increased amounts we teachers are having to teach around basic social behaviour, interactions and verbal communication skills. Unless house prices and utilities massively drop I can't see how it can change and in fact will only continue to get worse.

BIWI · 17/04/2022 08:24

Be honest @HiJenny35. When you say 'parent' you mean 'woman', don't you?

SafelySoftly · 17/04/2022 08:30

The juxtaposition between this post and the many where (women) posters say they can’t afford to eat/heat their homes/leave abusive partners is important.

I’m very fortunate that I work in a well paid job I can do part time and my partner pulls his weight too.

However if the only way to work was full time so I had complete financial freedom then of course my kids would do wrap around etc full time.

There’s some idealistic people on here. There’s a lot of people who would have done better to stick with a career, work hard and then not be stuck in an impossible financial situation.

Tillsforthrills · 17/04/2022 09:41

@BIWI

I've long since thought that women like Fairy should have their rights taken away from them, so creating a third class of sexes - the handmaidens. They shouldn't be allowed the vote, or any of the other benefits and rights that have been fought so hard for, by women who preceded us.

As for where to start with the homophobia and anti-abortion/contraception - I don't have words that I'd be allowed to use on Mumsnet. All I can say is that the Catholic church has a lot to answer for.

So you’re saying that some women should have all their rights taken from them and they should be handmaidens.

Can you see how utterly hypocritical you are? Unless this is some sort of joke you sound unhinged.

Some ‘feminists’ aren’t really feminists at all

LouiseTrees · 17/04/2022 09:44

@magicsoosh

They're out of the comfort of their own homes though. In a loud environment where they have to conform to the needs of a group.
My DD goes to nursery twice a week for those hours. Other hours are covered by grandparents and me ( I do 9 to 5.30 4 days a week). In the days she is there she doesn’t conform to anything really, what a negative view to have of the social interaction kids get at nursery!
Tillsforthrills · 17/04/2022 09:52

As hard as it may be to accept, 8-6 full time at a nursery isn’t the ideal scenario for children 0-3 years. Yes they’ll be fine and thrive and yes it’s necessary.

BIWI · 17/04/2022 09:55

@Tillsforthrills

Can you see how utterly hypocritical you are? Unless this is some sort of joke you sound unhinged

What on earth about my post makes me hypocritical?!

I think women who espouse the sort of views that Fairy expressed don't deserve to have the vote. Or to other rights that have been so hard-fought for, for women, by other women.

Swipe left for the next trending thread