To think 8am to 6pm at nursery/school+wraparound is just too much

[magicsoosh]

Apparently Mon-Fri 8am to 6pm childcare is normal.. AIBU to think that's a lot? That's more hours than most full time jobs

I would say, OP, that I do find it odd that the government doesnt do more to promote child minding as an option for 1-3s.

Childminding from own home cuts costs massively, meaning childminders typically earn more than nursery staff but are able to charge less to parents, it solves a lot of the conundrum of high costs/low wages in childcare.

There should be government schemes to increase the number of trained childminders, maybe grants to help people get started with equipment etc.

But also - it's a calmer less structured environment than a nursery.

Agreed for the vast majority who make take that path it is to allow the parents (mum!) to work full time. Which overall is a positive thing for the family and her future earnings.

Giving benefit of doubt to OP, I also personally know a close relative who sent their child before she was 1 to nursery full time, despite both parents working far less than full time and from home. When this has been discussed by the family (as these things are) I have said that we can only take from that decision that they think they're doing what's best. Intelligent adults must know it's not "ideal" and so they must have a good reason behind it, even if it's that they cannot cope with the baby themselves. There have been significant pre & post birth mental health issues which perhaps impact parenting more than they do work.

I agree op, it is a lot, very long days that I would really have struggled with as a child.
I don't have any friends who have sent their kids for these hours 5 days per week.

However a lot of people don't have a choice due to jobs and finances. I do think some people do have a choice though but don't want to reduce their salaries and change their lifestyles.

My kids did every childcare going, all the way up to high school. Sometimes with added Brownies or Cubs straight on top. They've been absolutely fine.

No friends or family nearby to help. Tried part time hours but my MH suffered which in turn impacted the DC. No option but full time nursery here. Childminders ok but if they are sick or on holiday I’m screwed so nursery is best option. Yes they are tired but it’s a “I’ve been playing all day outside in the fresh air tired”. They do have time for 1-2-1 time at nursery and independent play. My child often is in the book corner snuggled with a friend or grown up reading.

There’s no alternative for those who work full time with young children. Not until truly flexible working becomes the norm, allowing split shift type hours so an early pick up is achieved by working in the evening or early morning.

Yup awful. Yet these same mums will OBSESS over their kids diets 🤣. Such a middle class thing stick kids in childcare all day then fixate on healthy food.

It is a long day and it didn't suit ds.

It did suit dd.

Ds is autistic, so erhard much felt the 'need to perform'. Dd isn't autistic and loved it. It wasn't really work I'm breakfast and aftershock club. It was playing. They did do homework, but saved doing it at home and was often quicker as more adults to help.

Suits some kids. Doesn't suit others, just like everything else. Some parents dont have a choice. It's what their job requires.

I had to move ds school so his day was shorter. I couldn't just nor work as a single parent. But also I worked full time when with their dad. But we could work it so their days were a bit shorter.

Dd is 18 and ds is 11. Neither scared by it.

Surely you have an actual point you are trying to get at.

Is this another goady plopper?

They're everywhere at the moment. Plopping out their goady plops.

How am I meant to travel and get to work on time if I don’t drop DS off BEFORE the start of my own work day?

@magicsoosh

Apparently Mon-Fri 8am to 6pm childcare is normal.. AIBU to think that's a lot? That's more hours than most full time jobs

It is a lot but not sure everyone uses it for every day? We did a mix and DS was usually in by 8am 3 days per week but then normal school hours the others. Then after school clubs some days and normal school hours others. And for us it changed over the year as our jobs are more intensive some points and more flexible at other points in the year.

Not sure how many parents post them in at 8 every day and pick up at 6? Just needs flexibility to suit everyone's different childcare needs...

That said I do agree that if there's no choice then there's no choice. I'm guessing the children who find it exhausting probably just sleep or rest more at the weekends.

I think it's a bit sad babies are put in childcare for these hours, I'm not sure I'd have had children if I had to do it. I returned from maternity leave recently and I'm incredibly fortunate my parents look after our youngest 4 days a week at our house. I wfh and do compressed hours. It means he's only downstairs if I need/want to see him (I still breastfeed) and he isn't away from his familiar surroundings. I've no idea how anyone drops a baby off for those hours, I'd also find it hard leaving them in a strangers care when they can't yet talk. I understand people have to do this to work, but it's not something I'd want personally, it must be so distressing for them at first too.

@MrsTerryPratchett

Is this another goady plopper?

They're everywhere at the moment. Plopping out their goady plops.

You’ve captured just what I wanted to say!!

Goady ploppers everywhere

Have one of these for the random, goady, unexplained middle or the night post

The alternative is to work a part time, usually not well paid, job to fit in around normal school hours. I went this route and I can't honestly say I made the right choice. I'm a single parent so I get UC top up and now the cost of living has risen we are struggling badly. I get loads of time with my dc, but I'm always stressed and worried. The alternative is not always better.

Tbh I think the ‘people don’t have a choice’ is a pretty backwards way of thinking.

Yes some people don’t have a choice but I thought we’d come further than that in our attitudes to women.

My 10 month old is in nursery 7:30am - 6pm and he has been since 6 months.

I love my job, I trained for over 7 years and took countless exams to be qualified to do it. I’m good at it and it’s something I enjoy.

I wouldn’t consider going part time right now because I don’t want to. I want to progress my career.

I also enjoy being a mum, having DS is one of the best things I’ve ever done, he brings us so much joy and I hope to have more children in the future.

Sorry but what's the point of this post?!!

If you think it's long, fine. If you don't, fine. Do what you like. But why make other people feel bad about their circumstances to work and juggle child care.

Our DC is there 7.30-5 and loves it, asks to go on the days she's not there.

Gosh, you’re such a delight OP! Wind your neck in and get a hobby

No one can/should deny 8-6 is a super long day at nursery, especially for the younger ones. Hopefully they build in some chill out time. I feel guilty when I drop my youngest off at 7.40am and collect at 5.30. But it is what it is

@sst1234

Do you have a better alternative OP? Something that would be more acceptable in your view? Like having one parent (usually the mother) stay at home and sacrifice their financial independence, or perhaps one parent staying at home when they can’t afford to and rely on welfare - both of which set a bad example for the child? The only better alternative I can think of is having supportive family nearby who can help with childcare, not everyone has that privilege.

Everyone has their opinions, and we are all entitled to them but don't bash an opinion with your opinion that becoming a sahm by choice by relying on one salary in the household is setting a bad example. Like sending a child to full time nursery, leaving work and having one take over childcare and one take over earning money is a choice, or sometimes a necessity. Some can't afford to pay full time childcare and return to work.

I work 8 to 4.15 with an hours commute wach way which means I have to leave them from 7am to 5.15pm.

There is nothing we can do about that!

I did it three days a week which was hard enough. In my honest opinion the majority of parents absolutely need it to be able to survive, a small minority openly admit that they work more hours to buy a certain quality of life (designer clothes, all inclusive holidays, posh car.) Also some of the time the dad hadn't even considered going to four days etc. I'm not sure I could do it in that instance. I mean one day more with your child (for mum or dad) must be worth having shittier car for.
Also completely child dependent. My dd (now waiting for ASD diagnosis) absolutely hated me leaving her, and still does. If I had to go through the whole 45 minutes of crying, screaming, being torn away from me five days a week, I would have had a breakdown. My DS skipped into any setting and changed nursery four times so I would have probably felt fine about him going to nursery four or five times. He thrived on variation of activities so would have been a lot more excited about going.

I wonder what the research will show in a decade. I have SAHM friends who's DC's are advanced, some who are behind, same as working parents who's DC's are advanced and some who are behind. I think the quality of the childcare matters. If your children are with a grandparent but watch tv four hours of the day then, regardless of being in a home setting, nursery is probably better.
If being at home with parents is the ideal, then why do all kids get free hours at 3? Why aren't all the kids with an unemployed parent at home geniuses? The research so far doesn't show this to be the case.

It is a long day yes but unfortunately there is this thing called work that many families have to do. Both of mine are in nursery/wrap around 8-6 although in practice we generally don’t get there at 8. Nursery is set up for it. They have down time, all their meals are sorted. Wrap-around I find trickier tbh as they just get snacks at ours but my daughter loves playing with her friends.

In an ideal world, I’d do nursery 3 days a week and do an hour of wrap around for my eldest but that’s not feasible with my job.

I work in childcare and so many of the children are in from 8-6. The extra hours are usually travel as they work further out of our own town