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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Husband Drunk For 3 Days At Wedding

223 replies

GD12 · 11/04/2022 21:04

AIBU?

So my husband was best man at his friend's wedding. We arrived after a long drive on the Friday at the hotel and left on the Monday.
After we arrived at 8pm he went to meet his friend at the bar and got drunk.
I don't drink so I stayed in the room and he arrived back at midnight.
On the day of the wedding, at the reception he again got really drunk.
On the Sunday he went to meet his friend and new wife and family for lunch and I had a walk around the local town. When I turned up at 6pm again he was drunk and downing the drinks.

I'm not saying he was a bad drunk or did anything wrong when he was drunk, he still sat and talked to me etc but I just feel it was a bit over the score to be drinking so much when I was stone cold sober all weekend and he does change when drunk and it annoys me. I said to him on the Sunday night "did you have to drink so much all weekend" and he said he was enjoying himself and couldn't see what the problem was.

He doesn't get drunk or drink very often, maybe ever 4 or 5 months but when he does he really drinks a lot.

AIBU?

OP posts:

Palloom · 11/04/2022 22:34

I don't drink, and was away at my niece's hen party for three days (2 nights) recently. I was sharing with my sis, mother of the bride. We had an absolute ball and I didn't think I would what with all the young ones drinking their cocktails all night. Sis drinks too. All were very merry and enjoying seeing each other after two years of Covid.

I was up very late on both nights and while the noise got louder and louder as the night wore on, it was great fun. I wouldn't be doing it again anytime soon, but then there is the wedding coming up in June.... rinse and repeat. I drink tonic in one of those balloon gin glasses, so no one does the interrogation!

Shehasadiamondinthesky · 11/04/2022 22:34

I'm teetotal too OP and my ex husband always used to get blasted at events. I hated it. Didn't want to be with a drunk man all day and evening.

TheDoveFromAboveCooCoo · 11/04/2022 22:35

Why did you even go if you weren't willing to socialise with his friend and his family? You sound like a bit of a fun sponge to be honest.

Babadook76 · 11/04/2022 22:35

Yabu and extremely rude. How embarrassing it must have been for your husband to join another couple for lunch and a few drinks but you were too stuck up to even show your face. What was the point of you even attending? The whole weekend was about him supporting his best friend and being an important part of the wedding party as best man. It sounds like he played his role perfectly. I don’t get why you couldn’t have left your room or joined them for lunch and then just made your excuses if/when they started getting a little drunk and irritating. Not only have you come across as a sanctimonious cow, you’ve likely not only embarrassed your husband but you’re now actually trying to make him feel guilty for acting like a decent and normal human being at his best friends wedding.

NannaKaren · 11/04/2022 22:38

A drunk is a pain in the arse and embarrassing to be around !!!

MichelleScarn · 11/04/2022 22:41

@GD12 so were they all wasted drunk or just merry and chatty?

MaudieandMe · 11/04/2022 22:43

YANBU but you won’t get much support on here as the majority think ‘wine-o-clock’ is something to be celebrated.

I also had an alcoholic parent and I choose not to drink to excess. I might have a toast at a celebration such as a wedding or Christmas but one drink is enough for me.

I don’t enjoy being in the company of drunks and my DH doesn’t drink and very few of my friends drink at all. I certainly couldn’t live with someone who is happy to get wasted, even once in a while.

However, as you’re married, you’ll need to think about how you will reconcile his meeting friends and drinking in the future. Maybe you can arrange to be somewhere else during those periods?

lisaandalan · 11/04/2022 22:48

Why did you even bother going you were on your own most of the time. X

Babadook76 · 11/04/2022 22:54

@MaudieandMe

YANBU but you won’t get much support on here as the majority think ‘wine-o-clock’ is something to be celebrated.

I also had an alcoholic parent and I choose not to drink to excess. I might have a toast at a celebration such as a wedding or Christmas but one drink is enough for me.

However, as you’re married, you’ll need to think about how you will reconcile his meeting friends and drinking in the future. Maybe you can arrange to be somewhere else during those periods?

I’d think my best friends wedding is something to be celebrated

RampantIvy · 11/04/2022 22:55

How drunk was he? Merry drunk or falling over embarrassingly drunk?

If he was just merry then YABU. If he was falling over drunk then YANBU. DH and I both drink, but not excessively and not to get drunk. I find the inability to have an off switch as far as alcohol is concerned very unattractive in a man.

ThingsThatMakeYouGoHmmmmmmmmm · 11/04/2022 22:57

Wow. You sound like a real buzzkill.

Lalliella · 11/04/2022 23:04

You were rude and judgemental to not go to the lunch.

catfunk · 11/04/2022 23:06

Sorry op but YABVU and very rude. He was probably quite embarrassed.

OatmilkandCookies · 11/04/2022 23:07

Yabu.
It's a wedding after two years of Covid where he was best man, and you say yourself he doesn't drink much.

Hawkins001 · 11/04/2022 23:07

I understand your perspectives op, all the best

Hawkins001 · 11/04/2022 23:09

Although even if you don't know someone well, I would of gone to lunch at least, and got to know some of the people. Wish I had done that more during my uni days, rather than being a hermit.

ArtVandalay · 11/04/2022 23:10

Sounds like he had a fun weekend. Being sober when everyone is drinking is very dull, but he didn’t do anything wrong.

Original poster

GD12 · 11/04/2022 23:12

@Lalliella

You were rude and judgemental to not go to the lunch.

It was a family lunch in a pub and my husband was the only person outside the family who turned up. It was nothing "official" and he was quite happy for me to spend the afternoon on my own, other friends actually went home and didn't even bother going to the lunch.I went later at 6pm to socialise and say hello. Anyway, my issues isn't with him drinking its the speed and the amount he has, 2 drinks for him to one of everyone else. Yes, he can "hold it" and doesn't do anything embarrassing or fall over but he's pretty gone and slurring and staggering. I just don't get why he has to have so much so quickly because he turns into someone who's annoying and not himself. If he's having one or two then fair enough but it's not it's more like 20.

OP posts:

Stephthegreat · 11/04/2022 23:14

YABU lighten up! It was a wedding weekend and I imagine everyone had a bit too much to drink! What a misery!

nocoolnamesleft · 11/04/2022 23:14

YANBU. Having a drink? Fine. Getting drunk 3 days in a row? Fucking tedious. Drunks are so boring.

Phobiaphobic · 11/04/2022 23:14

You're not being unreasonable. It's horrible being around grown adults when they're drunk.

RampantIvy · 11/04/2022 23:15

20 in one day is a lot. I think some posters on this thread have been rather harsh in their judgement of you.

Neverhot · 11/04/2022 23:16

So what if he gets annoying and slurry? He isn't hurting anyone and deserves to have fun however he sees fit at his friend's wedding. You sound very judgemental and controlling.

KimikosNightmare · 11/04/2022 23:17

@PlainJaneEyre

On the Sunday he went to meet his friend and new wife and family for lunch and I had a walk around the local town Rude behaviour from you.

Assuming the bridal family weren't the family from Shameless I find it difficult to imagine that the groom, bride and immediate family were all roaring drunk at Sunday lunch.

ManateeFair · 11/04/2022 23:20

He was best man at a wedding and he got a bit pissed? So what? Just because don’t drink it doesn’t mean nobody else is allowed to get tipsy as part of a wedding party. You say he only gets drunk once every four or five months? What’s the problem, then?

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