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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you do this?

338 replies

Changename111 · 10/04/2022 10:17

Supposed to be having lunch with a few friends from work. One has just messaged me and said she has lost her bank card so if she transfers money can I withdraw it as cash.
I'm really not happy she's put me on this situation.

OP posts:
DoorWasAJar · 10/04/2022 17:07

@2bazookas They can’t actually do anything just with your sort code and account number.

@mumda

‘Which is my point about asking how long it takes for cash to be withdraw-able from an account after a transfer.’

Money is immediately available after transfer, whether for cash withdrawal or any other mode of use.

Mummaganoush · 10/04/2022 17:07

Are you always a disagreeable curmudgeon or is today a special day. .

grapewines · 10/04/2022 17:07

@Changename111

I just think you'd sort this out yourself and not bother work colleagues
I'd decline going to lunch with you in the future in her place. You know, just as to not bother you.
Harrysmummy246 · 10/04/2022 17:13

Christ I can lose my bank card in my own house stone cold sober.

Fortunately any friend I'd be out with would say I'll shout you....

Who needs enemies with 'friends' like OP eh

Figgygal · 10/04/2022 17:21

Im guessing op isn't coming back but just in case........
Yes i would do this for a friend
Your reaction is weird
Are you usually awkward and judgey?

Mydogmylife · 10/04/2022 17:40

@Theunamedcat

Who doesn't keep cash in the house anyway? I have emergency cash? Doesn't everyone? Am I weird?
Yes
olympicsrock · 10/04/2022 17:50

I can’t find my card at the moment. I’m over 40 and a professional. Use Apple Pay for everything. Needed cash on Friday, asked a colleague if I could do a bacs on my phone in exchange for their getting me cash out.

They willingly helped - that’s was decent people do. You are a bit mean/ judgy

Clumsyvolcano · 10/04/2022 17:51

You’re being weird and precious. It’s a non issue.

Blossomtoes · 10/04/2022 17:56

I haven’t used cash for about three years now. I think I might have drawn some out in 2019.

DaphneSprucesPippasClack · 10/04/2022 18:01

Yes I would do this, no problem

LeastofLeicester · 10/04/2022 18:06

Tbf I do find this odd to ask for the cash.

Its more normal to just pay and friend would transfer 1/2 to me once we'dgot the bill. Usually while we're still at the restaurant table.

milkysmum · 10/04/2022 18:11

It's not an odd request. She's lost her bank card, it happens. How else is she meant to pay tonight? I wouldn't hesitate to draw the cash if she transferred the money- what on earth is the problem?

melj1213 · 10/04/2022 18:33

@LeastofLeicester

Tbf I do find this odd to ask for the cash.

Its more normal to just pay and friend would transfer 1/2 to me once we'dgot the bill. Usually while we're still at the restaurant table.

I would also offer to just pay if they transferred their share but they might not want people to think that the OP is paying for them or have to explain their money situation to the wider group when it comes to paying and the OP covers them both.

They also might just want to have the cash so they have a bit extra to tide them over till they can get to the bank/access their cash - so they transfer the OP £50 so they know they have the £35 for dinner and a couple of drinks and also £15 so if someone wants to go for another drink afterwards, or they need to pick up bread and milk on the way home, they know they have access to their money.

LeastofLeicester · 10/04/2022 18:53

Good point, didn't think of that.

TotallyTS · 10/04/2022 18:57

I really don't know why you wouldn't do this for a friend @Changename111
What position do you think she's put you in apart from wanting to make sure she can pay for her lunch.

You're obviously judging her for losing her card though.

Duchess379 · 10/04/2022 20:05

@Starrylight

Tell her she's being absolutely unreasonable and should either not come out, or print her own money instead...

😂👍🏼

Furmummy · 10/04/2022 20:07

Jeeeezz! A grown woman lost her bank card while out the evening before! Gosh I can’t believe it that never happens!

Abs yes you are being unreasonable - totally odd issue. Banks shut, so asking to do that do can still join you!

NippyWoowoo · 10/04/2022 20:17

@Changename111

I just think you'd sort this out yourself and not bother work colleagues
In your OP she's your friend from work. Now she's a work colleague 🙄 you're being unnecessarily extra
SquirrelG · 10/04/2022 21:11

Twice, within a short period of time, I went out for lunch with work friends and forgot to take my wallet. Not an issue at all, one of them paid and I paid them back. That's the type of friends most of us have/are. The only odd person here is you OP (and one or two other paranoid types). I can't imagine why you would ask this on MN and expect people to agree with you.

CityCommuter · 10/04/2022 21:35

@Changename111 I'm surprised you have any friends with your attitude and it sounds like you have a low opinion of the ones you have... what would you have done in the same situation as your 'friend' or what do you think she should have done?

diddl · 11/04/2022 08:02

@LeastofLeicester

Tbf I do find this odd to ask for the cash.

Its more normal to just pay and friend would transfer 1/2 to me once we'dgot the bill. Usually while we're still at the restaurant table.

I agree.

Well tbh if I lost my bank card my first response would be to tell people that I couldn't go & if they offered to sub me for the meal until I could pay them back, then all to the good.

Tbh it would take me back someone just asking for details to transfer money over.

Obviously it's just a done thing for a lot of people, but for those that it isn't, I don't see why it makes them mean, nasty etc.

I might even have said that I'd rather not & to ask one of the others that would be at the lunch.

Fernshire · 11/04/2022 08:11

@Walkingalot

I'm on the fence on this one. I'd wonder why the colleague had asked me out of everyone else. I'm happy to transfer money with family and would for a close friend but not to someone at work if I didn't know them well, hadn't worked there long etc. Also, I can't imagine anyone in this day and age not having a credit card to use in emergencies.
Well hark at you not knowing anyone without a credit card!
grapewines · 11/04/2022 15:10

Also, I can't imagine anyone in this day and age not having a credit card to use in emergencies.

Then you have poor imagination. Not everyone qualifies for credit.

TimBoothseyes · 11/04/2022 16:33

Also, I can't imagine anyone in this day and age not having a credit card to use in emergencies

Neither me or DP own a credit card. We qualify but we don't want one.

HTH

LagunaBubbles · 11/04/2022 16:43

Also, I can't imagine anyone in this day and age not having a credit card to use in emergencies

Seriously? And I thought the Tories were out of touch.