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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Date night cancelled. DH needs to sleep.

224 replies

mag2305 · 08/04/2022 16:28

DH and I haven't been out for absolutely ages, just the two of us. We have a 3 year old and 9 month old. Both sets of grandparents have kindly offered to look after a grandchild each today (both together is quite a lot). So we had the opportunity from this afternoon until this evening to go out and do something. However, my dh is currently asleep as that's what he's chosen to do with this time. I feel like I'm stuck in the house so much, I just want to get out. Feel a bit upset and disappointed by DH (AIBU?) but it's his choice. So what can I do on my own this evening that won't look like I'm a sad loner, lol! Any ideas?
I don't want to waste this evening. Unfortunately, being last minute, my friends have other plans otherwise I would have seen one of them.

OP posts:
LegMeChicken · 08/04/2022 17:08

@sillysmiles

As *@L0bstersLass and @SevenWaystoLeave* said - what was the plan? Had you both discussed what you were doing? If there was a plan, I'd be pissed. Wake him, ask him if his plan is to sleep the whole night - if he says yes, go somewhere nice for dinner yourself.
I don’t know what your actual AIBU is but this. YABVVU if you hadn’t TOLD him there’d be plans.

I’d get myself a takeaway and enjoy myself with an adult TV show, in peace.

GoodSoup · 08/04/2022 17:08

Surely he’s not going to sleep until morning? Yes I would be pissed off with that, time together is important and I’d be wondering why he didn’t want to spend time with me if that’s his plan.

LegMeChicken · 08/04/2022 17:08

Oops that didn’t sound quite right!
Obviously mean a non-kid suitable show, like a thriller or similar. 😂😂

Sirzy · 08/04/2022 17:10

Most people who work in schools are knackered by the holidays. I can only imagine how much worse that is the last few years with covid stresses added in.

If you have plans then yes it’s unreasonable but otherwise let him catch up on sleep and then do something later

Cherrysoup · 08/04/2022 17:11

Dear lord, I’d be kicking his arse out of bed! I’ve been on holiday this week too but having to get up with the puppy who doesn’t sleep really once it’s light. It’s just tough.

Blossombouquet · 08/04/2022 17:11

We’ve had our first day off together since Christmas today.

I spent the afternoon asleep as we were up all night with our youngest.

I’d hope for a disco nap & he’ll be ok to go out in a bit.

Did he say anything before he went up to sleep?

RewildingAmbridge · 08/04/2022 17:11

What time did he go to sleep? It's only early even if you book a table for 8:30 he will have had a good 4 hour nap at least , surely he won't sleep until morning

Hutchy16 · 08/04/2022 17:12

Get a bottle of wine, order some food, and wake him up when it gets there. He will have had a nice nap and you can have a chilled evening together.

Just think, if you are tired, he probably is too…and you wouldn’t like it if you just wanted to sleep but you dragged him out somewhere. You’ll have other chances to do stuff, take this time to chill together.

Alternatively, sneak into the bed with him and wake him up for something else. Then you can tell him after that it’s time to get up and do something

LittleOwl153 · 08/04/2022 17:12

Yeah I'd be disappointed too. I expect he gets to go out to work everyday, and out with his mates when it suits and leaves you with all the childcare.... they don't get how isolating small kids can be.

Definitely get out. Go to the mall, eat in the food court if you don't think you could do a restaurant. Cinema is definitely an option or a museum depending on timings now... and make sure you sort something out with friends soon.. school holidays he has no excuse to not do some solo parenting for a bit!

Juniper68 · 08/04/2022 17:12

@LegMeChicken

Oops that didn’t sound quite right! Obviously mean a non-kid suitable show, like a thriller or similar. 😂😂
Perv 🤣
BlueOverYellow · 08/04/2022 17:12

I'd be quite cross if he's currently on term break, a week in, and too tired to go out with you for the first time in a long time.

BFPDec21 · 08/04/2022 17:13

Go and do something you want to do.

I slept instead of a date night recently and it was well needed. So it depends if he was extremely tired or just selfishly wanted a nap. Imo, there's no point having a date night if one of you is miserable or tired.

MichelleScarn · 08/04/2022 17:13

Just read op again and it's only a few hours, so likely no opportunity to go out out/dinner drinks etc.
So we had the opportunity from this afternoon until this evening to go out and do something.

Sleep is exactly what I'd do then!

Patchbatch · 08/04/2022 17:15

I wouldn't mind sleeping if we didn't have plans, but I'd be disappointed too

Thatsplentyjack · 08/04/2022 17:16

I would go to the cinema and for a late night wander around the shops (if there's any late night shopping near by) or I would go for a run, have a bath and a film with a takeaway. Or maybe just chocolate.

Is there a reason he's so tired? If not, I would be pretty pissed off.

Benjispruce4 · 08/04/2022 17:17

Surely after his nap he’ll be ready for evening plans? It’s early. Unless you’re in another time zone?

Pugtails · 08/04/2022 17:20

Don’t wake him up if he needs his sleep, if it was the other way round people on here would be furious. He might just need a nap then you can have a late dinner and cinema trip

Blondeshavemorefun · 08/04/2022 17:22

Did you discuss date night

Seems a waste to sleep it off

Let him sleep till 6 then wake and say booked restaurant

Benjispruce4 · 08/04/2022 17:22

Yeah don’t wake him but surely he’ll wake before 8? Getting up at 6/7am is normal and he’s not even working this week.

MichelleScarn · 08/04/2022 17:24

@mag2305 what time do you need to collect them/be in at?

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 08/04/2022 17:24

I find tiredness can come on quickly. When I need to sleep nothing and no-one can stop me.
A child free couple of hours I'd do the same and get some sleep without the guilt of the other parent doing everything.

As a single person I do many things on my own. If people think I'm a weirdo that's on them.

SleepingStandingUp · 08/04/2022 17:25

So kids have been out all afternoon and you've sat in the house because he's tired and is asleep? Will he sleep all night now? Why can't you just go out. Get a coffee. Take a book. Go to the cinema. Get a meal. Just do your own thing.

DrSbaitso · 08/04/2022 17:27

Don't wake him up, you'd be mad if he did that to you and it isn't likely to put him in the mood to do anything. Just enjoy a solo outing. I've seen plenty of films and eaten plenty of restaurant meals alone. If anyone spontaneously combusted over it, I didn't care enough to notice.

SnowingInApril · 08/04/2022 17:29

For me, it would definitely be eating out without little hands pawing at my plate etc. Nice quiet meal. Magazine. Maybe a glass of white. Definitely a desert. That I had to share with no one.

Wife2b · 08/04/2022 17:29

Why can’t you wake him up now he has had a nap?

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