Date night cancelled. DH needs to sleep.

[mag2305]

DH and I haven't been out for absolutely ages, just the two of us. We have a 3 year old and 9 month old. Both sets of grandparents have kindly offered to look after a grandchild each today (both together is quite a lot). So we had the opportunity from this afternoon until this evening to go out and do something. However, my dh is currently asleep as that's what he's chosen to do with this time. I feel like I'm stuck in the house so much, I just want to get out. Feel a bit upset and disappointed by DH (AIBU?) but it's his choice. So what can I do on my own this evening that won't look like I'm a sad loner, lol! Any ideas?
I don't want to waste this evening. Unfortunately, being last minute, my friends have other plans otherwise I would have seen one of them.

If that is his plan for the whole night, I would be hopping mad.

Just a bit of extra context, DH works in a school (school hols at the mo) so the tiredness isn't work related. He claims it's because of getting up at 6/7am all this week with our 3 year old.
The problem is when he gets overtired, it really effects his mood, like depression. So he gets grumpy and has no motivation. Annoyingly he's been fine all this week until today, our one opportunity to go out!

@fairylightsandwaxmelts
They don't. That's why they should both do their own thing here.

Surely it's just a disco nap?

I love going out alone. DH is grumpy and unpleasant to be around when he's tired, so I'd always leave him to sleep and head out by myself. Nobody has ever noticed me as they're too wrapped up in their own stuff. Go and see a film, have a bite to eat and enjoy the peace!

It's only half 4, let him have a nap.

OMG, I love going out on my own!

I'd go to wherever I fancied for dinner, followed by the cinema

Cinema, definitely, via an M&S garage for nice food and treats for one. Love it.

I'd be happy taking a book and having a nice meal by myself. He's a miserable bugger.

I'd go out, cinema and restaurant afterwards. Otherwise hotel and takeaway

There are so many things you can do alone, that are impossible (or completely different) with little children
cinema
theatre
a long walk
a meal out
a run
go to a concert
some live music in a pub
read a book in the garden with a glass of wine
a lovely long uninterrupted bath
a haircut (or nails, or whatever is your treat)
even the satisfaction of getting a job done in the house that you couldn't do with the little ones around

However Presumably your dh is only likely to sleepfor a couple of hours. Is there a reason he can't have his sleep and then you both go out somewhere ?

I don't understand why an afternoon nap means date night is cancelled? If he's tired an afternoon nap may be what he needs to be refreshed to go out in the evening.

Don't think it isn't work related tiredness just because he's on school holidays.

It's so hard not being able to have those lie ins in the holidays when you work in a school because you have small children. I don't get as much rest as I need in the holidays anymore and do feel slightly envious sometimes of my child free teacher friends who get to sleep in the holidays.

However, if it's your only chance to go out together, I would be annoyed in your position. I might order in and find a favourite film to watch- being someone who can't go out by myself to the cinema or a restaurant due to my own low self esteem.

Does he know you wanted to go out/do something during this time?

Why can't he sleep for a couple of hours now & then you go for a nice dinner or to the cinema later?

@SevenWaystoLeave

Does he know you wanted to go out/do something during this time?

That's exactly what I was going to ask. Was there a plan? Had he been made aware that you'd anticipated that you'd be going out together for a date night?

If not, then I think this is down to a simple lack of communication of expectations.

The reason I said wake him up is because the op posted at half 4. Surely he's not going to sleep from half 4 until the morning.

For most people an hour or two napping is enough to be refreshed.

He might wake and go out?

Shame I wasn't near you I'd go out with you. I'm fab company

As @L0bstersLass and @SevenWaystoLeave said - what was the plan? Had you both discussed what you were doing?
If there was a plan, I'd be pissed.
Wake him, ask him if his plan is to sleep the whole night - if he says yes, go somewhere nice for dinner yourself.

Did he explicitly say he wanted to stay asleep and cancel the night or are you just anxious about waking him?

If the latter is let him get a couple of hours then wake him (maybe try gently so you don't wake him out of too deep a sleep in a quiet word or soft touch won't do it, if deeply asleep can make it hard to wake up feeling decent) and have your date night. Doesn't have to be anything big and tiring, and I doubt he's actually going to sleep until morning. Even if I'm flat out an afternoon nap will fix me for the evening.

You’re not unreasonable to be disappointed if you were looking forward to doing something together, but if he’s tired, he’s tired. Sometimes you just need to sleep.

Agree with pp it's a disco nap! Unless he has pj'd up and said good night!

oh come on to those saying let him sleep - surely he can have a nap when the kids are there?
This is a RARE opportunity for the two of them to spend time together child free!
OP go up and get into bed and cuddle up with him - have some lovely uninterrupted, relaxed sex and then go out for a drink / dinner. It will do wonders for reminding you that you are first and foremost a couple and not just parents. I found carving out the time to be able to do stuff like that was really important when dc were small. It literally made me feel human again, like the 'old me / us'

Hope you have a lovely evening together!

Definitely go to the theatre or cinema! Get a glass of wine and enjoy!

I’d be really gutted he was sleeping on your date time - it’s fine to take a nap, but surely you can wake him up to go out for dinner/cinema or something?