To dread a party with "stand-up bowl food" ?

[Jng1]

RSVPd yes to a 'save the date' for a friend's significant birthday party.
Just had the details through and it's in a tiny cafe/ restaurant with a guest list of about 60. Looked at pics on insta of other private parties and people are packed in like sardines in a low-ceilinged single room. No stools or seats anywhere.

Food is described as grazing boards then stand up bowl food.

Am I alone in dreading this kind of social event - standing in uncomfortable heels, juggling a glass and a plate/bowl and not being able to hear anyone. Wondering how long I have to stay before I can discreetly disappear?

(Yes, I know IABU and I should have just politely declined, but I thought it would be a sit down/ buffet type thingie!)

YANBU. I would hate that too.

I'd manage about half an hour before I'd need a sit down (arthritis and a hip replacement). Can you turn up, show your face, say happy birthday and leave? If there's around 60 there, they won't notice you sneaking off.

Or take a fold up picnic chair for yourself

'Stand up bowl food?' Is that the new phrase for crisps and nuts?

Don't wear "uncomfortable heels" then.

Stay home. Take your friend out to dinner separately.

Nothing about that sounds great I mean is it not trendy to sit down anymore?

Sounds miserable way to spend an evening. Test positive for covid the day before?

Definitely not the event fot heels. Might be one of those nights that you expect will be shit but turns out alright though. It is good for you to see people and get out and about somewhere new sometimes.

Why wear uncomfortable heels?

www.foodevents.co.uk/food/bowl-food/

I guess it's this kind of thing?

Can you avoid wearing heels? Grazing boards sound like the work of the devil. Nightmare for anyone with allergies or intolerances, or just anyone who likes their buffet food served without being all mixed up and touching.

"Grazing boards" 🙄

This is Mumsnet. It's pretty much a safe bet that this social event will be hated.

Never heard of this TBH. But YANBU. No way would I go anywhere, to any party or function where I didn't have a seat! What, are you meant to just stand up all evening/night with your glass in one hand and your plate in the other? Sounds awful tbh.

I agree with the take a camping chair with you.
Decathlon sell some that fold down quick and you carry it over your shoulder. That way you can take it with you when you need to go to the lav and no one can pinch your seat

@KimWexlersPonyTail

Sounds miserable way to spend an evening. Test positive for covid the day before?

This. ^

I love a good party and love a cheery crowd but the nowhere to sit would elicit a “no thank you” from me. (I’d consider taking along a couple of fold-up chairs though if I really wanted to go! 🤣)

What's the difference between a buffet and grazing boards ?

Horrific. It's the same setup used for corporate events, award ceremonies, workshops etc. Grazing boards are basically pre-assembled plates of sweaty uncovered meat, cheese, nuts, fruits plus miniature bread rolls (100% stale) and you're somehow expected to eat everything standing up without cutlery with a drink and trying to make small-talk with someone in a noisy room.

As the cherry on top in 2022, there's a 100% chance someone will have covid at such an event!

Problem is all my 'smart' clothes really need at least a small heeled show and since covid I just can't wear them! All heels are uncomfortable now.
I'm not tall either (5ft 4) so people tend to talk 'over' me otherwise.

I also suffered from backache and find standing for a long time really hard - so much so, that half the time I'm so busy concentrating on standing comfortably I really can't concentrate on conversations.

I guess I could buy a pair of glitzy trainers or something, but all my trousers would be too long then.

I normally steal a dining chair from another room for these kinds of things. I get dizzy if I stand for too long in one spot from chronic illness, but most people don’t know that, and don’t mention that I’m sat. Not sure I really care if they’re judging me tbh.

YANBU, if I go out I like to sit down not stand about all night.

I went to a wedding like this- but had no idea beforehand that its only canapes/nibbles and very few chairs! I'd worn heels and it was awful. I ended up asking staff for paper towel so I could dry the outdoor chairs to bring inside for some elderly guests. When I queried the lack of chairs with staff- they pointed to their 'trendy' beanbags on the floor!!!

Either wear comfortable shoes and make a brief appearance, or start feeling unwell the day before and meet up with them another time.

That sounds horrendous. I wonder why they chose it?

I went to a christening party like this just before covid, where we stayed the minimum respectable time - an hour!

No seats, a huge queue for the loo next to the desserts, buffet food that had had other people's hands all over it.

The highlight was the great-grandma arriving and throwing her coat onto a pram by the door and a woman's voice crying out, 'Nan! The baby's still in the pram!'

Nan then demanded a chair, and it took about 20 minutes to find one 'round the back' while Grandad was getting all aeriated about the smell of weed drifting in from the back door.

Fun times.