To dread a party with "stand-up bowl food" ?

[Jng1]

RSVPd yes to a 'save the date' for a friend's significant birthday party.
Just had the details through and it's in a tiny cafe/ restaurant with a guest list of about 60. Looked at pics on insta of other private parties and people are packed in like sardines in a low-ceilinged single room. No stools or seats anywhere.

Food is described as grazing boards then stand up bowl food.

Am I alone in dreading this kind of social event - standing in uncomfortable heels, juggling a glass and a plate/bowl and not being able to hear anyone. Wondering how long I have to stay before I can discreetly disappear?

(Yes, I know IABU and I should have just politely declined, but I thought it would be a sit down/ buffet type thingie!)

@YetAnotherNam

I’m surprised this is popular.

Unless everyone gathers around small high tables,
how are you supposed to eat if you’re holding the bowl in one hand and a drink in the other.

A lot of corporate functions, they do!

Glad to see I'm not the only poster who hates buffets.

@Spidey66

'Stand up bowl food?' Is that the new phrase for crisps and nuts?

No, it’s even worse than that. It’s usually bowls that require cutlery, so completely impossible to eat whilst also holding a drink.

It’s almost like the people who cater these kinds of events have never done a trial run.

@Jng1

www.foodevents.co.uk/food/bowl-food/

I guess it's this kind of thing?

I wouldn't want to eat any of that whilst standing and trying to hold a conversation... are where is my drink while I'm juggling all these things? 🤷🏽‍♀️ it's a no from me

I'm not tall either (5ft 4) so people tend to talk 'over' me otherwise.

I’m 5ft. Haven’t worn heels for about 40 years. People only do this if you let them.

I wouldn’t like any event where you can’t sit. Not very inclusive so I’d refuse to go.

Bowl food at someone's house would be ok with me, if it's the only way they can host a crowd. But I wouldn't like it in a restaurant

Please don't bail out on the day. It's cruel to waste someone's money and risk lots of people doing the same. If you don't want to go, make an excuse in advance and arrange to see them another time

The ones I’ve attended have always had mini forks or Spoons with the bowls.

@diddl

If I eat standing up it seems to leave me feeling hungry very soon after.

The idea that it makes it easy to mingle-surely it's just a cheap way of serving food?

It’s long been known that people drink faster and therefore more at “vertical drinking establishments” with minimal seating and very loud music.

No such thing as a 'Mumsnet' thing.

We are real people on here.

The reason the majority of opinions here sometimes seem a bit skewed from what you find in 'real life' is that on here people are honest!

@Legoisthebest

I agree with the take a camping chair with you. Decathlon sell some that fold down quick and you carry it over your shoulder. That way you can take it with you when you need to go to the lav and no one can pinch your seat

You joke but my late DGM did this exact thing at a relatives hen do but didn't take it to the loo with her and it got taken by another guest and then they refused to let her sit down when she came back from the loo. My brother started an almighty fight about it. I wonder if you were at the same 'do'

@VioletLemon

Norovirus white fib? Then enjoy the evening knowing you're not a sardine..

If it were a fib beforehand, it won't be afterwards once everyone's paws have been churning the food.

Don’t wear heels, eat before you go so you don’t need to eat the graze board/bowl food.
Stay a couple of hours then politely leave.
Your friend has invited you, this will mean a lot to her, be a good friend and go.

By the way bowl food are mini dishes you eat with a teaspoon or small fork usually, a few bites not a hearty portion, think large canapés but sloppy! It's very fashionable now but been around for over 20 years - I was going to events like this in London before dd was born and she's 23.

Grazing boards are sometimes like antipasti boards but they can also be good old sausage rolls and pork pies.

Firstly definitely wear trainers.
Also either decline the invitation now: Great Aunt's Tea party or something.
Or arrive late, leave early.

Is the idea of standing up at a party really that astonishing? I was at a birthday party in a bar last night and stood/mingled the whole time from 9pm to 2am. Just wear comfortable shoes.

I'm not really a fan of juggling buffet food and a drink while trying to have a conversation either so at those events I eat beforehand and only have the food if it looks unusually good. I don't get mad about this though.

The point of a party is to have a good time socialising with people you like not to bitch about it falling below your ideal standards of optimum comfort. It's not a spa day. If you don't like the host or fellow guests enough to put up with talking to them while standing up, I suggest you don't go, and remove yourself from their social circle.

The part I find odd isn't the bowl food, it's the no seating available at all!

We had bowl food at DD's christening, but we also had tables and chairs for people to sit and eat. We just preferred the bowl food over people queuing for a hot buffet.

It obviously depends how much you wanna see this ‘friend’

I have friends I’d do stupid things for and ones I wouldn’t..

Uggh, these types of events are the worst. Maybe ok for corporate if you’re trying to work the room and network with as many as possible but not for a social occasion with friends or acquaintances.
I’d boycott, say you’ve had a positive Covid test a good few days before (so they can use your place for someone else) and take friend out to lunch afterwards.

With so much covid about? That sounds like a great idea.
We had a meeting of the whole department 3 weeks ago now two thirds of our staff have covid (NHS) great idea.

Maybe ok for corporate

Nope, still shit.

It’s long been known that people drink faster and therefore more at “vertical drinking establishments” with minimal seating and very loud music

I guess it would numb the pain.

OP I’d struggle with this and every party I’ve attended has resulted in multiple covid infections. If you genuinely can’t face it tell them you are sorry but won’t manage the venue, perhaps you could take friend or lunch? Don’t cry off on the day, that’s poor form.

Alternatively eat beforehand and just have a polite nibble, wear comfortable footwear (most common in our parts now, thank God) and don’t stay too long.

@BoredZelda

I'm not tall either (5ft 4) so people tend to talk 'over' me otherwise.

I’m 5ft. Haven’t worn heels for about 40 years. People only do this if you let them.

I wouldn’t like any event where you can’t sit. Not very inclusive so I’d refuse to go.

Same here! Nobody needs to wear heels if they don't want to.

Bowl food just looks a different way of serving hors D’oevres (sorry can’t spell but you get the idea)

I need to sit down, I have a back deformity you’d miss at first glance if you weren’t a physio but after 20mins I need to sit or leave.

Eat before you go, leave early!

@Jng1

www.foodevents.co.uk/food/bowl-food/

I guess it's this kind of thing?

Most of those need a knife and fork to eat them ! How could you do it standing up !

The food sounds fine, but I couldn’t go with no seats, chronic illness says no.