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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dread a party with "stand-up bowl food" ?

318 replies

Jng1 · 03/04/2022 11:45

RSVPd yes to a 'save the date' for a friend's significant birthday party.
Just had the details through and it's in a tiny cafe/ restaurant with a guest list of about 60. Looked at pics on insta of other private parties and people are packed in like sardines in a low-ceilinged single room. No stools or seats anywhere.

Food is described as grazing boards then stand up bowl food.

Am I alone in dreading this kind of social event - standing in uncomfortable heels, juggling a glass and a plate/bowl and not being able to hear anyone. Wondering how long I have to stay before I can discreetly disappear?

(Yes, I know IABU and I should have just politely declined, but I thought it would be a sit down/ buffet type thingie!)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
LeftieLucy · 03/04/2022 12:20

@Jng1

www.foodevents.co.uk/food/bowl-food/

I guess it's this kind of thing?

I’d go if you get one of each. They sound lovely!
Swayingpalmtrees · 03/04/2022 12:21

I had a few of these types of parties, save yourself the effort of balancing glasses bowls etc - eat before you go, stay for a few drinks to be there for your friend and focus on making it fun for her. It is her milestone birthday after all!

savedbyanalien · 03/04/2022 12:21

YANBU. I went to a wedding like this, it was the worst wedding I've been to.

siriusblackcat · 03/04/2022 12:21

Looking at that menu, how the fuck do you eat toad in the hole with gravy/curry/mac and cheese with no cutlery?!

Swayingpalmtrees · 03/04/2022 12:22

Correction: I have been to a few of these parties. I didn't host them, and never would. It is very awkward and usually there is nowhere to actually sit!

ImAvingOops · 03/04/2022 12:22

A party where you can't eat sounds miserable.
Just had a look at the menu for the food event linked above - how are people supposed to eat gravy and mayo with 'minimal cutlery'?

Maireas · 03/04/2022 12:22

@Mrsjayy

What's the difference between a buffet and grazing boards ?

No proper plates - looks good for 10 mins then it ends up an almighty mess.
You have to touch a lot of stuff to get what you want.

diddl · 03/04/2022 12:22

If I eat standing up it seems to leave me feeling hungry very soon after.

The idea that it makes it easy to mingle-surely it's just a cheap way of serving food?

LocalHobo · 03/04/2022 12:22

Once I got to 40 I decided I was no longer doing buffets, let alone attend anything more than a drinks do without assigned seating. A few of my hosts have made quite a performance of having a seat put aside for me, I am happy to be known as an awkward guest, they don't need to invite me!
I hope 'stand up bowl food' does not become a thing.

MoiraNotRuby · 03/04/2022 12:23

The advantage of a standing party to sitting is that you don't get stuck with anyone boring! Wear comfortable shoes, eat before you go, be open to meeting people and you can have a nice time.

Or decline now. Parties are expensive and its really rude to accept someone's generosity then bitch about it or flake out.

Hoppinggreen · 03/04/2022 12:23

If you love your friend enough then just eat plenty before and then either go in comfy shoes or wear your heels and escape asap

Thewheelsfalloffthebus · 03/04/2022 12:23

Where smart trainers, hem a pair of your trousers and they can be your ´flat shoes’ smart trousers. If you’re not wearing heels much anymore anyway you’ll get more use out of them.
Find a youtube video to explain how to hem trousers if you don’t know how.

gogohm · 03/04/2022 12:24

Wear comfortable shoes! No I don't mind these sorts of things but I generally eat a light meal before I go so I just nibble rather than eat a lot, so much easier

diddl · 03/04/2022 12:24

@siriusblackcat

Looking at that menu, how the fuck do you eat toad in the hole with gravy/curry/mac and cheese with no cutlery?!
Well you probably get a fork for that so macaroni cheese & curry might be doable.

Toad in the hole not so much unless it's all bitesize!

EmmaH2022 · 03/04/2022 12:24

@ScreamingMeMe

That sounds horrendous. I wonder why they chose it?
It's usually down to cost and insurance issues

Venues are allowed more guests per whatever if they're standing.

Fewer fire escape obstacles with no seating.

At corporate dos, they think people network more if they're standing.

No way do I go to this kind of thing if it's not work.

Also hate the grazing platters. Generally all catered events are horrible now if you're veggie, it's only ever vegan curry. Cheese and quiche etc seem to have vanished.

Sorry, side rant.

I have eaten some lovely "bowl food" but the concept is a pain...where do you keep your glass etc.

Maireas · 03/04/2022 12:25

@diddl

If I eat standing up it seems to leave me feeling hungry very soon after.

The idea that it makes it easy to mingle-surely it's just a cheap way of serving food?

In a nutshell. The "minimum plates and cutlery" is a money saver.

AlisonDonut · 03/04/2022 12:25

Say you were there, it's just nobody could see you as you didn't wear your heels so you left early.

Gwenhwyfar · 03/04/2022 12:25

@SagittariusDwarf

Don't wear "uncomfortable heels" then.
Exactly. I still wouldn't want to stand up for long though.
MolkosTeenageAngst · 03/04/2022 12:25

If wearing heels is uncomfortable then it sounds like time to invest in a new wardrobe of clothes that you can wear with flats and some nice flat shoes. If you have a bad back you really aren’t doing yourself any long term favours by forcing yourself into heels for social events. If people talking over you is an issue look at maybe getting some comfortable platforms or wedges but really it sounds like time to ditch the heels.

YetAnotherNam · 03/04/2022 12:26

I’m surprised this is popular.

Unless everyone gathers around small high tables,
how are you supposed to eat if you’re holding the bowl in one hand and a drink in the other.

MurmuratingStarling · 03/04/2022 12:26

@ImAvingOops

There must be people in real life who like these things, otherwise they wouldn't exist, but I don't know anyone who would! It might be a Mumsnet thing but can anyone honestly say what's good about it?
This. ^ It sounds shit.
Savoury · 03/04/2022 12:26

I’ve had these at work receptions. The bowl idea is to avoid a buffet which gives people the ick post Covid. The waiters go around with bowls like canapés (e.g. seared tuna on pak choi) and they tend to echo the start/main/dessert routine.
The only issue with them is that it’s hard to hold a drink and a bowl at the same time so you need lots of high tables and it’s hard to know if it’s one bowl per course or several like canapés.
I’d go anyhow but I do like to socialise and share nice life events with friends.

gogohm · 03/04/2022 12:26

@Mrsjayy same thing, reinvented, new word. Grazing table means buffet without bothering with plates or bowls to separate items so think olive juice soaking into the crackers (for real) don't get the trend myself, buffet is fine by me.

Maireas · 03/04/2022 12:27

Turn up with some tupperware boxes, load them up and say "cheers - I'll eat later, sitting down!"

viques · 03/04/2022 12:27

@Jng1

www.foodevents.co.uk/food/bowl-food/

I guess it's this kind of thing?

“Without the need for much cutlery” , so bowl in one hand, not much cutlery in the other …………… where’s my drink? Shock