To dread a party with "stand-up bowl food" ?

[Jng1]

RSVPd yes to a 'save the date' for a friend's significant birthday party.
Just had the details through and it's in a tiny cafe/ restaurant with a guest list of about 60. Looked at pics on insta of other private parties and people are packed in like sardines in a low-ceilinged single room. No stools or seats anywhere.

Food is described as grazing boards then stand up bowl food.

Am I alone in dreading this kind of social event - standing in uncomfortable heels, juggling a glass and a plate/bowl and not being able to hear anyone. Wondering how long I have to stay before I can discreetly disappear?

(Yes, I know IABU and I should have just politely declined, but I thought it would be a sit down/ buffet type thingie!)

I quite like bowl food 🤷‍♀️ If it’s done well.

I also wouldn’t assume there won’t be chairs just because you saw a picture of someone else’s party without chairs. Presumably a restaurant will own some! Comfortable shoes would seem to be a must though.

Can’t believe people are suggesting you fake illness just because your friend’s party isn’t what you’d have chosen. Some people on here must be shit friends.

i wouldnt touch buffet food right now dont care if that makes me precious and even if there are utensils where the hell do you eat balancing against a wall

@Laiste

No such thing as a 'Mumsnet' thing.

We are real people on here.

The reason the majority of opinions here sometimes seem a bit skewed from what you find in 'real life' is that on here people are honest!

Exactly this. ^

Several posters on here seem to be finding it difficult to comprehend that many people don't like the idea of this, with silly mocking and derisory comments, looking down their nose at people and belittling them.

How incredibly narrow-minded and childish.

@LocalHobo

Once I got to 40 I decided I was no longer doing buffets, let alone attend anything more than a drinks do without assigned seating. A few of my hosts have made quite a performance of having a seat put aside for me, I am happy to be known as an awkward guest, they don't need to invite me! I hope 'stand up bowl food' does not become a thing.

I feel like this too.

I have spent too many long hours and days standing, in my earlier years. Will NOT do it now. Fuck that for a game of soldiers.

Waiting in queues for two hours (with the DC,) to get into a concert or a show, waiting in a queue for half an hour for the toilet, waiting around and standing for endless hours at theme parks whilst DC and their friends went on all the rides, queuing for an hour to get into the zoo, queueing for 20 minutes for an ice cream that cost £4 and melted before a third of it was eaten, queuing for 2-3 hours with DC at a meet-and-greet of one of their favourite singers, or for a book signing of a little known author!

And many other events including waiting endless hours for a late flight, (some of it standing if there were no seats,) and endless hours of standing on a train when there were no seats, in addition to the endless hours standing on the platform, and endless hours standing, waiting for a bus! (And then often standing there too, as there were often no seats!)

Like fucking hell would I be voluntarily going to a naffing 'event' where I had to spend all evening standing! With my drink in one hand, and my food plate in the other. Fuck that!

Sounds fine. Don't go if you don't want to. Definitely don't be tempted to dream up some elaborate lies as suggested 😂 it's not that deep. Just wish your mate a happy birthday.

stand up is meant to be a good way to be more social, rather than sitting and staying talking to the same old

what concerned me is the bowls of food,
what about hygeine?
covid?

You can decline the invite, wish the person a happy birthday, send them a card.

Whilst not your reasoning, seems not to cater for people with disabilities.

Nope. Not my cup of tea. I'd want to sit down at some point.

I would have food before I went and wear flat shoes. Make sure I got round to say hi to everyone who would notice me and then slip out when it got busy. Luckily that kind of setting means it's hard for anyone to notice when someone's left because it's so crammed.

It sounds great to me. God you’re a miserable lot!

OP you do not need new shoes, don’t be so ridiculous 😂

I really don't understand why people accept (optional) invites to things they know they'll hate, then spend ages complaining about how much they'll hate them

If you know you won't enjoy it, just don't go and arrange to do something else with your friend separately - it's not obligatory to attend stuff you know you won't like or enjoy.

I’ve always really liked bowl food, more substantial than canapés and unlike a buffet where everyone’s had a chance to root through it it’s usually bought to you by waiting staff, so much more hygienic and Covid friendly.
I’m sure there’s going to be a few chairs available. I quite like to be able to mingle, it means you can’t get sat next to a sad sack for the whole evening over dinner…. Although I’m sure with all the moaning myrtles on this thread, your the kind of people we try to avoid and like being able to move on from

I can't stand for more than 10 minutes = slipped discs.

strange comment upthread that those with heels need to sit!

@MrsLargeEmbodied

stand up is meant to be a good way to be more social, rather than sitting and staying talking to the same old

what concerned me is the bowls of food,
what about hygeine?
covid?

Bowl food usually means you get to try lots of small bowls of food. Larger than a canapé but smaller than a meal. Each one is individual so I wouldn’t see why unhygienic?

I love an event with bowl food as I get to try lots of different dishes . I hate standing up for long periods though so probably wouldn’t stay for long.

@Dexy007

It sounds great to me. God you’re a miserable lot!

OP you do not need new shoes, don’t be so ridiculous 😂

God you're a miserable lot.

ODFOD!

Your type do my head in. Bet you go around telling people to cheer up if they're not grinning and simpering all around you, and think of yourself as sooo random and go around saying 'I'm mad me!!;

This sounds like my idea of hell even before COVID. Personally I would try and get out of it and take my friend out for a meal somewhere where they have tables and chairs and proper food and cutlery.

Alternatively you could buy some glitzy, platform trainers, turn up the hems of your trousers, eat before the event, stay for a hour then leave.

Comfortable heels if heels are essential such as wedges. Eat before hand so you don't need to eat unless you want to. Have fun and celebrate with your friend.

will there be dancing op?

Sounds horrid

The macarena? Please tell me there'll be a conga line at the end.

I wouldn't mind it, but I don't wear heels. Ever. The only time an outfit 'needs' heels is if it would literally trail on the floor without them. And I'd still rather that than wear heels!

@Fairislefandango

I wouldn't mind it, but I don't wear heels. Ever. The only time an outfit 'needs' heels is if it would literally trail on the floor without them. And I'd still rather that than wear heels!

I'd have the outfit shortened!
Mind you, I usually have to anyway at 5'1".

"Bowl food"? Hmm...do you get your own bowl to dip into or is it a free for all where everyone dips into whatever they fancy like they used to do with crisps and nuts pre Covid times?

I'm not wearing uncomfortable heels for anyone or any occasion.

I'd go, comfortably dressed and stay for as long as it was enjoyable. Often the events you're least looking forward to turn out to be the best.