Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To dread a party with "stand-up bowl food" ?

318 replies

Jng1 · 03/04/2022 11:45

RSVPd yes to a 'save the date' for a friend's significant birthday party.
Just had the details through and it's in a tiny cafe/ restaurant with a guest list of about 60. Looked at pics on insta of other private parties and people are packed in like sardines in a low-ceilinged single room. No stools or seats anywhere.

Food is described as grazing boards then stand up bowl food.

Am I alone in dreading this kind of social event - standing in uncomfortable heels, juggling a glass and a plate/bowl and not being able to hear anyone. Wondering how long I have to stay before I can discreetly disappear?

(Yes, I know IABU and I should have just politely declined, but I thought it would be a sit down/ buffet type thingie!)

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
fairylightsandwaxmelts · 03/04/2022 13:04

@Ellie56

"Bowl food"? Hmm...do you get your own bowl to dip into or is it a free for all where everyone dips into whatever they fancy like they used to do with crisps and nuts pre Covid times?
As the link shows, it's separate bowls for each individual.
LBFseBrom · 03/04/2022 13:05

I like finger food, buffets, etc, but would want to find a seat at some point. I'm sure there will be some seats (& you can ask for one if necessary, you won't be the only person to do that), people will come and go so it won't be jam packed for the entire event.

I'd say at least go, you don't have to stay too long if you are not happy, nobody will notice. Make sure your shoes are comfortable, it is possible to find elegance without very high heels and discomfort. I think you'd be sorry if you didn't go and, who knows, you may enjoy it.

grapewines · 03/04/2022 13:06

Absolutely no way right now. It sounds like covid waiting to happen with the food arrangements.

oakleaffy · 03/04/2022 13:07

My idea of hell, too.
Standing really hurts my back , walking is ok.
Why no seats? It's crazy.
Finger food is a norovirus playground, too.

Yuck.

MrsLargeEmbodied · 03/04/2022 13:08

i think i might prefer it to a sit down meal

MrsLargeEmbodied · 03/04/2022 13:08

sit down meal you are forced to talk to the same people all the time,

Calennig · 03/04/2022 13:08

I don't think it that new a thing.

I don't have the OP height issues so would have been wearing flat or at least comfortable shoes anyway.

I perfer them though with DH or at least others I know - as then it's usual to get a window, edge of table or ledge where you can put the drinks down and eat and as a group not be pushed away from.

I don't remember standing being such an issue for any of us - but it if was surley a few chairs would be found for those it was.

Madcats · 03/04/2022 13:08

Bowl food became trendy at Corporate events about 18 years ago. Possibly because they were quicker to serve and more hygienic than having waiters wafting trays of tiny canapes about under everybody's nose multiple times or people overfilling their plates and dropping stuff on the floor after a few too many glasses.

Each dish would only require 2 or three stabs of a fork to consume. Steak and kidney pie, lasagne and peas with duck on top are daft ideas for a stand up event!

I can't see the attraction of grazing tables. I am sure hand hygiene is better than it was, thanks to covid, but not much better.

Just eat beforehand and make excuses to leave early. The host won't mind if there are as many guests as you suggest.

CarlaH · 03/04/2022 13:09

The food issue is irrelevant for covid. It's airborne so its a lot of people breathing in a small area that's the issue.

WibbleWobbleWibble · 03/04/2022 13:09

Wear comfy shoes and eat before you go!

stuntbubbles · 03/04/2022 13:10

@CounsellorTroi

I’m not sure how you can eat from the bowls if there is nowhere to put your glass down.
Sip it, if it’s stand-up soup.
Everydaydayisaschoolday · 03/04/2022 13:11

I don't eat standing up. I am not a horse.

That being said, I'm sure there will be seating available.

gingerhills · 03/04/2022 13:13

These things are actually quite fun - though there should be places to sit if you like. Bowl food is really easy to eat and it means you can circulate rather than being stuck for three hours with your best friend's sister's father-in-law, making small talk. You get to catch up with people, and as PP have said, you can slip away when you want, which you can't at a more formal sit down event.

Silverclocks · 03/04/2022 13:14

Stand up events are much more sociable . Sitting can be awful if you end up with the "wrong" people.

balalake · 03/04/2022 13:17

Bowl food is also assuming people wash their hands properly. Which many don't.

CounsellorTroi · 03/04/2022 13:17

@Silverclocks

Stand up events are much more sociable . Sitting can be awful if you end up with the "wrong" people.
You don’t have to sit with the wrong people all night. Mingling is still possible with seating.
Lucia574 · 03/04/2022 13:19

I prefer standing up parties: you get to mix more and to chat with more people. Don’t mind bowl food; wouldn’t touch a grazing board.

Lucia574 · 03/04/2022 13:20

I understand bowl food to be served plated up and handed out in bowls with small forks, so it is hygienic.

pussycatunpickingcrossesagain · 03/04/2022 13:21

Bowl food?

Cornflakes would be ok at a push I suppose...at least you wouldn't need a drink. Grin

You need to make a decision - if you go, wear something comfy - it's just a posh cafe, so I'd stick out like a sore thumb wear jeans with a nice top and trainers and eat before I go.

I'd also only stick around for half an hour before a convenient crippling migraine sets in.

lapasion · 03/04/2022 13:21

Sounds a bit dull really. If you’re packed in, it’s going to be hard to wander around and chat to different people. And it doesn’t sound like there will be room to dance. Bowl food can be a bit hit and miss.

I feel like a lot of venues discourage seated events as fewer people can be packed in.

Faevern · 03/04/2022 13:21

I’ve only been to two of these first one I wore wedge heels and the bowl food was small individual portions with a spoon. Finding somewhere to put my glass was awkward and keeping an eye on it too. Second one I wore a dress and trainers and ate beforehand solving the glass and bowl problem.

I won’t touch the grazing board they are so unhygienic. Both parties were ok for mingling but uncomfortable standing after a while with those who could leaning against any bit of wall they could find.

I would not knowingly accept another invite unless it was a very short event. Bit shit that they sent a save the date first.

MsSquiz · 03/04/2022 13:22

@balalake

Bowl food is also assuming people wash their hands properly. Which many don't.
@balalake what?

Bowl food is a slightly larger portion than canapés. So you only pick up and eat from 1 bowl. Once finished, put it down or hand it back to a waiter collecting empties and repeat for a different food item.

You aren't scooping food out of a large sharing bowl with your hands...

BorderlineHappy · 03/04/2022 13:24

Notice how they asked first and then sent the menu.
They knew no one would go.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 03/04/2022 13:26

@BorderlineHappy

Notice how they asked first and then sent the menu. They knew no one would go.
The first was just a "save the date" thing though, not an official invite.

So once the actual invite came through, OP could easily have declined if it wasn't up her street.

fairylightsandwaxmelts · 03/04/2022 13:27

@balalake

Bowl food is also assuming people wash their hands properly. Which many don't.
Bowl food is individual bowls for each person, so if Joe Bloggs hasn't washed his hands, that's on him - it won't affect anyone else.