Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this an okay way to save some money?!

204 replies

Annoy · 01/04/2022 20:34

It’s probably really stupid… and likely illegal! But I’m desperate! Like many!

My son is a sensible 12.5yr old. He already comes home from school 2 hours before me. Him at 3, me at 5.

My daughter is a sensible 8.5yr old. She goes to a childminder after school until I pick her up at 5. This costs me approx £250 a month (she goes in the morn too).

They get on reasonably well for siblings, he can be very caring and supportive of her.

Her primary school allow older siblings to collect.

WIBU to have my son collect my daughter, walk home (house/school same village) and be with her for the 2hrs instead of CM?…. Guarantees they would watch telly for the whole time!

It actually sounds really U writing it down! If you think so too, what age would you allow this from?

Thanks

OP posts:
CavernousScream · 01/04/2022 20:36

Too young IMO. Maybe when she’s 10?

Pumpfive · 01/04/2022 20:37

It's hard to put a figure on it but I would say either when the eldest is 14 or youngest is in year 6, whichever comes first.

RagzRebooted · 01/04/2022 20:37

Probably another year and a half at least, depending on the children. It's all fine until something goes wrong...

Duracellbunnywannabe · 01/04/2022 20:38

I think it’s a very big ask for a 12 year old to be responsible for a younger child for every night. What would be your plan if he wanted to do an after school club, go to a friends or gets a detention? Maybe try it one night a week and see how it goes? Disclaimer - my kids are younger but as a secondary teacher I’m aware this happens fairly often.

Pumperthepumper · 01/04/2022 20:39

I think your 12 year old is too young for that kind of responsibility. But I can see why you’re asking, childcare costs are steep.

Blush21 · 01/04/2022 20:39

Sister was 11/12 was 9/10. We were sensible for our age. Just watched tv with the door locked until mum came home. Always rang her to say we were in, as we got older and cooked tea we have to ring her to say the oven was off etc. I would do it if you think they are sensible enough. We lived in a small village with people we knew we could go to if needed also and knew the numbers to call

Notmrsfitz · 01/04/2022 20:41

I think it’s a good idea.
You know your children and if we didn’t live in such a judgemental world we wouldn’t think twice.
My eldest son at 12 was v responsible,middle son was totally bonkers but v responsible when tested in a crisis (by neighbour).
The benefit to your family income would be enormous and the money saved could be partly utilised with a treat each month.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 01/04/2022 20:41

You know your children. I think those ages are fine if they get on and they're both responsible. The main issue for me would be, what would you do if it didn't work? Could you get another childminder?

Fireintheloft · 01/04/2022 20:41

My kids were sensible enough to do this, but I think I'd do once a week rather than every day at this point.

HunterHearstHelmsley · 01/04/2022 20:42

Do you have a neighbour immediately they could get hold of in an emergency?

Mumoftwoinprimary · 01/04/2022 20:42

I think when your eldest is 14 this will be fine.

inmyslippers · 01/04/2022 20:43

Let your 12 year old be a kid longer. They deserve a childhood not being mini parents to siblings

Hercisback · 01/04/2022 20:45

Is your son going into y9 in September? If so you could start from then. There's a lot of difference between 12 in Y7 or Y8.

NuffSaidSam · 01/04/2022 20:46

I think it could be fine.

It will depend on your individual circumstances, but if you've thought it through and think it's ok then it probably is!

It won't be ok for all children of these ages, but realistically nothing is ok for all children of a certain age, we just put an age on stuff to make ourselves feel better!

DippingToes · 01/04/2022 20:47

I'd definitely do this. I'm surprised by the number of people who are against it.

It's only a couple of hours every night, and if your son is sensible and happy with the arrangement I don't see the problem.

PigeonLittle · 01/04/2022 20:49

I agree maybe once a week is good, see how it goes. If they get on and he can be responsible I think its a win win. Maybe up his pocket money a pound or two

NuffSaidSam · 01/04/2022 20:53

@DippingToes

I'd definitely do this. I'm surprised by the number of people who are against it.

It's only a couple of hours every night, and if your son is sensible and happy with the arrangement I don't see the problem.

It's a Mumsnet thing!
SweetSakura · 01/04/2022 20:53

I think start small, once a week.

whirlygirl · 01/04/2022 20:55

I really don't see an issue with it if he's happy. You know them and their maturity best. I walked to school on my own at 6 and let myself in at 9 while my parents worked.
I'm really not damaged by the experience.

StephMum92 · 01/04/2022 20:58

My mum did this with me and sibling at the same age. She 'tested' it by leaving us for a few hours first while she went to a friends who lived around the corner so she knew she wasn't far if needed- maybe test it now in the half term leaving for a couple of hours and see how they get on.

user3837313202 · 01/04/2022 20:58

I'd give it a trial (once a week, say) and see how it goes

Do you have a back up plan in case he's ill / joins the after school chess club / gets detention or similar?

Would he be able to deal with minor medical issues like a grazed knee?

Georgeskitchen · 01/04/2022 21:04

Age 12 I used to look after my 6 year old sister and also sometimes my baby sister 6 months old

ICantRideABike · 01/04/2022 21:20

I agree with @user3837313202 but also ask your DC what they think as I know my DD would have said no to being in charge of her younger brother and he wouldn’t have wanted her to be the boss either.

JurassicPerks · 01/04/2022 21:20

Couple of thoughts:
Does your son comfortably have enough time to get between schools?
What happens if your son wants to do an afterschool club? Or gets a detention? Who could collect your daughter?
By doing that, do you loose a holiday space at the childminder?
On tye surface, itcsounds possible, but I think the logistics might prove troublesome. Couid you start with just a Friday?

clarysageandlavender · 01/04/2022 21:21

Agree above is there a neighbour or neighbours who are often home? I'd be happy to be a point of contact for my neighbour's kids in an emergency (on the understanding I couldn't guarantee I'd be home but I usually am and if I was if be happy to help)