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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this an okay way to save some money?!

204 replies

Annoy · 01/04/2022 20:34

It’s probably really stupid… and likely illegal! But I’m desperate! Like many!

My son is a sensible 12.5yr old. He already comes home from school 2 hours before me. Him at 3, me at 5.

My daughter is a sensible 8.5yr old. She goes to a childminder after school until I pick her up at 5. This costs me approx £250 a month (she goes in the morn too).

They get on reasonably well for siblings, he can be very caring and supportive of her.

Her primary school allow older siblings to collect.

WIBU to have my son collect my daughter, walk home (house/school same village) and be with her for the 2hrs instead of CM?…. Guarantees they would watch telly for the whole time!

It actually sounds really U writing it down! If you think so too, what age would you allow this from?

Thanks

OP posts:
Jenkibubble · 02/04/2022 17:54

So hard to say without knowing your kids .
Do you have emergency numbers they can call - neighbours / trusted people always available etc .
How near do you work ?

tiredanddangerous · 02/04/2022 17:57

My sister was 8 when I started secondary and I had to pick her up from school every day. Our dm was home from work by 4.30 though so we were only home alone for about 45 minutes. No one batted an eye but this was early 90s.

flower277 · 02/04/2022 17:58

I have 14 and 15.5 year olds. I also have a 5 year old. I can’t bring myself to leave the little one with them yet. It’s a big responsibility and they argue despite the massive age gap 🙄

BingBangB0ng · 02/04/2022 18:25

I think it’s fine from a safety point of view, but you should keep the childminder 2 or 3 days a week so he still has freedom to do things after school on those days.

Ownedbyafrenchie · 02/04/2022 18:25

I think the oldest looking after the youngest for a couple of hours after school is a viable option and worthy of serious consideration. Only you know whether the 12.5yr old is mature enough to be responsible but if they get along well, I would suggest a trial run?

007Stocko · 02/04/2022 18:26

www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

Svara · 02/04/2022 18:30

I'd allow that. DS was coming home on the bus and letting himself in alone at 9 and a half, so a year older than your younger child.

Helpneededbyanoutsider · 02/04/2022 18:33

I love how everyone has responded thinking this is a big deal….

If they’re sensible and responsible then why not?

When I was young my sister and I would be walking ourselves to school and back with no adult at home from Y3 and Y6…this was only about 10 years ago! We were sensible and knew what to do in emergency (phone numbers on the fridge etc) and all was well. By Y4 I was walking to primary school on my own and back as sister was in secondary.

We thought it was great! A bit of freedom and space from adults!

MeridasMum · 02/04/2022 18:38

I know it's a different world now but late 70s/early 80s I'd be coming home alone from age 8. I'd get a snack and watch tv till parents came home - around 2 hours.

I wouldn't do that now; 8 is too young and I remember sometimes feeling scared but 12 1/2 I think is ok, if they are a sensible kid.

I'd trial it once or twice and prime a neighbour to be on hand in a potential emergency. Leave snacks and make sure they know to lock the door and watch tv, play games etc. until you are home.

If you don't have one already, use some of the money you'll save and buy a Ring doorbell. You can see that they are home safe. Then you can text or FaceTime them.

Svara · 02/04/2022 18:40

@BingBangB0ng

I think it’s fine from a safety point of view, but you should keep the childminder 2 or 3 days a week so he still has freedom to do things after school on those days.
Good point. It's common at DS's school for them to go into town after school on a Friday, so I'd want him to have Friday's off. We are close to school so DS has often had friends over after school, which he could still do with a younger sibling.
BytheRules62 · 02/04/2022 18:42

While I personally think that a sensible 12yo would be fine looking after an 8yr old, I would be wary without checking the legal aspect.

AnnieSnap · 02/04/2022 18:47

I think it’s all about the individual children. You describe your 12 1/2-year-old as sensible and that he is caring with your 8-year-old and they they get along well. It’s only 2 hours in the late afternoon. I think it’s fine!

AnnieSnap · 02/04/2022 18:48

@BytheRules62

While I personally think that a sensible 12yo would be fine looking after an 8yr old, I would be wary without checking the legal aspect.
There is no legal age for this!
ididntevennotice · 02/04/2022 18:49

When mine were pre/teens they went out with their friends after school more often then not, so the responsibility of a sibling would have prevented them from being able to do that.

Xkerching08x · 02/04/2022 18:54

Deffo be ok, 8yr old is capable to listen to 12yr old imo and be sensible together. My 12.5yr old watches my almost 4 year old when I have to go work and dh isn’t back from work. Usually only a few hours here and there and they just literally sit watching tv. Although my 12yr old is really mature and sensible she even makes us dinner once a week from what she learns at school

3teens2cats · 02/04/2022 18:55

Will 8 year old's school allow them to leave without an adult? No school would see a 12 yr old sibling as being suitable so unless they will let 8 yr old leave by themselves then the rest is immaterial. From memory my kid's primary only allowed it in yr5&6 i think.

LadyCatStark · 02/04/2022 18:56

I’d do it. At 12, I used to look after my siblings who were 10, 8 and 2. Only the 2 year old needed any actual looking after.

PoshWatchShitShoes · 02/04/2022 19:05

I think it's too young even for the 12 year to be letting themselves into the house every day. It's a big responsibility to add babysitting!

thebabynanny · 02/04/2022 19:06

@3teens2cats

Will 8 year old's school allow them to leave without an adult? No school would see a 12 yr old sibling as being suitable so unless they will let 8 yr old leave by themselves then the rest is immaterial. From memory my kid's primary only allowed it in yr5&6 i think.
My 11 year old collects my Year 3 child from school.
sixmill1 · 02/04/2022 19:06

My brother looked after me when he was 12, I was 6 at the time. I used to babysit other people's kids from 12 onward, though I appreciate that was in the early 80's and were all a bit different now.

DogsAndGin · 02/04/2022 19:07

Far too young

NoodletheSchnoodle · 02/04/2022 19:11

I think I'd start by doing it one day a week as a trial to check everyone is happy with it, and saving a days worth of childminding fees, then over the next year or two increase the days as needed as the two of them get older.

Jeannie88 · 02/04/2022 19:13

Years ago it was most likely no bat eyelids. Yes sure they will be absolutely fine, esp with mobile phones to keep in touch as any problem can be asked for help in am instant. For me I am OK with this, would probably still worry the whole time, keep checking in etc and have someone to keep an eye out but my dh would not do it, so quite a difficult one. X

Jeannie88 · 02/04/2022 19:14

On reflection, for peace of mind and another year or so of childminder fees, maybe not. X

bettertocryinamercedes · 02/04/2022 19:21

Mine do that. Granny is next door tho, but when we lived in another village they did it too.

I was about an hour after them getting home, they weren't allowed to answer the door or cook. If they went to the park or something they had to text and ask.

Worked fine for us - 9 and 11 at that point. They walked home from school together

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