Partner assaulted me. Don't know where to turn

[CoffeeLover90]

I know I'm not unreasonable. Posted here as has most footfall. If you make it to the end well done.
Partner of 17 years assaulted me this afternoon. I called the police. He literally snapped my phone in half.
He's drank on and off (mostly on) for 2 years. The final straw was I over heard him talking to another girl, who he hasn't seen for 16 years, arranging to meet and start a relationship. I realized in that moment, I've been used. He's with me for a place to stay and for money. Nothing else. Which means he'll have no intention to stop drinking. When I pulled him on this he smothered me on the bed, punched me on the head, pushed me a lot. Threw my phone at me, the walls, stamped on it then finally hit over the banister so it snapped in half. Our son, 2 years old, was downstairs. I managed to grab my son and run to my friends over the road. I rang the police. He was arrested and took into the van as I was in the process of giving a statement. They left saying they'll come back once he's booked in. I've heard nothing since. I've called 101 to let them know I now have my SIM card on another phone. They said he was still in custody and I'd get a call. That was 2 hours ago.
I'm alone with the little one. I'm terrified. he'd said if I phoned police he will come and kill me once he's released.
I've never been so scared in my life.
I'm also worried about SS they were involved at sons birth and was signed off a few months later on the agreement the relationship did not continue and he would have supervised visits only. Due to previous violence.
I know I'm an absolute idiot for taking him back.

You rock! You absolutely rock! So proud of you 🥲

You sound amazing! Well done

I’m hopping on here to say no wonder your DS is coming on leaps and bounds because you have! What an inspiration you are, creating a safe space for you both and doing things I bet you-of-two-years ago would not have believed possible.

Healing is possible is a little mantra of mine and you (and I) are living proof!

Saw this thread in active and ended up reading the OP’s posts from start to finish. I’m genuinely in tears at your story, OP. What a brilliant woman, warrior and wonderful mother you are and what a fantastic life you are giving yourself and your wee boy. Just wish you all the luck in the world xx

On the first page I called you strong. I was wrong. You're way past strong: you are amazing. And reading this thread may well help other women find their own inner strength. Because you are also inspirational.

You are incredible, OP. You should be so proud of yourself and your DS. I’m so happy for you, and wishing you all the best 🌺🌺

@CoffeeLover90 lovely update, I'm so pleased you and your lovely DS are thriving, good luck with the driving test.

So pleased to read how well things are going for you. You are a great role model for your son.

When you started this thread I said that one day you would be the strong capable woman you want to be, that you wont recognise the woman he turned you into.

Now normally I wouldnt say this because its self congratulatory and a bit crowy but.....I TOLD YOU SO!!!

Well done, I am so happy for you. I recognise every step of your journey because I trod that path myself and the joy I feel in how far you have come cannot be understated.

So very proud that yet another of us has kicked one of these bastards to the kerb

Thank you all for your kind words. And like a pp said, I hope someone going through this can take some strength and realise there is light at the end of the tunnel. And still so much too look forward to.

It's amazing how time heals, isn't it OP? I look back on the abusive relationship I left nearly 30 years ago and it's like another lifetime ago. Never think about it day to day now, am now with a wonderful guy!

So happy you found your way out and have a great life now, OP! I hope because of your experience that others find the same strength to make new lives, too.

Just read the whole thread through and I'm delighted with how far you've come OP. Enjoy your new life!
I'm astonished though that 40% of users put YABU in the poll. You read "Partner assaulted me. Don't know where to turn" and you pick YABU? FFS Mumsnet, have some compassion! (This doesn't of course apply to all the hundreds of lovely and supportive posts on the thread.

@Hollowgast In the beginning there were some 'how could you let this happen? You knew what he was etc' - it was difficult to read, alone, terrified, not even knowing if he'd been released, if I was safe. On top of the physical injuries. But I can't deny they were right. I should have done this years before. I wasted 17 years of my life but I wasted the first 3 years of my sons. I've achieved so much in the last two years, I realise that, but how much more would I have if I'd done this sooner.

Wow. You're an inspiration. All the best for the future.x

CoffeeLover90: Thanks. You can look back with regret but you can't change what happened and the way you've moved on, as Bluedabadeeba said, is an inspiration.

Delighted to see your updated OP! Very well done to you.

Just goes to show what you're capable of when you don't have your ex dragging you down.