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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend asking to use swimming pool

839 replies

bakedbeansandgravy · 29/03/2022 16:20

a few years ago DH came into some inheritance and spent the money on a swimming pool We have always wanted one. Friends use it with us and all is good. However, my friend is asking to use the pool when we are due to be away in May. Access to the garden/pool is straight forward as we have a gate with number pad. However:

last time my friend used the pool when we were away (friend asked in advance) we came back to find the pool chemicals had not been done properly and the pool water was a lot lower than usual (can cause issues with the filter system). DH was fuming and it took him ages to get the chemical balance back.

To leave the pool heating on for my friend while we are away is going to cost us money. Money that could be saved from non-use by us while we are away but instead will be used/accrued by my friend. But I cant say we are trying to save costs ie the pool heating will be off while we are away and then turn it back on the minute we get home - if that makes sense.

I don't mind friend using the pool but it will cost us money (and I can hardly charge my friend), if we were here then the pool heating would be on anyways and last time my friend messed up the chemicals.

Any suggestions on what to do/say ?

OP posts:
StrangeCondition · 29/03/2022 16:21

No?

SharpLily · 29/03/2022 16:22

In this case I would just lie and say there's a fault with the heating system/a leak/ pump is broken or something similar and that someone will be repairing it while you're away and for this reason the pool will be unavailable. And change the code on your gate so friend can't decide to go ahead regardless.

AndAsIfByMagic · 29/03/2022 16:22

Tell her what you've said here.

Aprilx · 29/03/2022 16:22

I am not saying that you should use the cost reason, but I don’t understand why you say you can’t?

Wilma55 · 29/03/2022 16:22

You're having it serviced/cleaned while away?

BakeOffRewatch · 29/03/2022 16:23

I don’t own a pool and would have no idea about the maintenance involved. Your friend may be the same and see the request as the same as asking to use your sun lounger, not realising the imposition. I suggest going in assuming the best and not worry about being confrontational or a conflict. Just say last time you hadn’t realised leaving the pool without the owners there to check daily led to bigger problems (no need to say because of anything friend did) and you realise now you can’t let people use it when you’re not at home, really sorry.

MrsSpooner · 29/03/2022 16:23

Just say no

She’s cheeky to ask if you’ve never offered

SparkleSpangle · 29/03/2022 16:24

Say, no sorry we are away. Its simple.

Momicrone · 29/03/2022 16:24

Just blame it on your dh

BringBackCoffeeCreams · 29/03/2022 16:24

Insurance company have said no, that the home/policy owner has to be around when the pool is in use?

TeenPlusCat · 29/03/2022 16:24

Say no, while you are away the pool won't be being heated?

If pushed say your DH and you have decided not to let people use it while you are away as you've had issues with the chemicals not being right so you need to be there to ensure they are safe/balanced?

Sparklybanana · 29/03/2022 16:25

Just say no. Say what you said above that it took dh ages to fix the pool after "some guests" had used it and he's now banned its use when you're away. Plus it's not going to be heated.

Guiltypleasures001 · 29/03/2022 16:25

Who's liable if there's an accident? Your home insurance could be void if there's no agreement ref liability ...I kid you not

DONTYELL · 29/03/2022 16:25

But I cant say we are trying to save costs ie the pool heating will be off while we are away and then turn it back on the minute we get home - if that makes sense. I don't see why you can't say this?

Could it be due some maintenance?

CheerioBeerio · 29/03/2022 16:25

Just say no, you've had a bad experience with a friend before (friend may take the hint?!) and that you're not covered by insurance for people using it whilst not there, so if anything happens to damage it or any injury then you'd not be covered.

DONTYELL · 29/03/2022 16:25

@CheerioBeerio

Just say no, you've had a bad experience with a friend before (friend may take the hint?!) and that you're not covered by insurance for people using it whilst not there, so if anything happens to damage it or any injury then you'd not be covered.
Ooh good one
CoffeeBeansGalore · 29/03/2022 16:25

You are getting a pool maintenence company in to do an annual service whilst you are away & it needs a week to filter everything through & it can't be used. As you are away you got a discount for a flexible booking.

Londono · 29/03/2022 16:25

I think as they have used it before and not been careful then the answer is no.

Blossomtoes · 29/03/2022 16:25

But I cant say we are trying to save costs ie the pool heating will be off while we are away and then turn it back on the minute we get home - if that makes sense

It doesn’t make any sense. Tell her the pool won’t be heated while you’re away.

I do wonder if the pool maintenance was properly explained to her last time, though or if she was expected to just know exactly what to do with no instructions.

TheWayTheLightFalls · 29/03/2022 16:26

Both the reasons you’ve shared here are good enough, and you can couch the chemicals thing more delicately and say that other people find it tricky to get the chemical balance right so you’ve decided not to offer use of the pool while you’re away. But do tell here. Not just cost, or she may offer to pay.

watcherintherye · 29/03/2022 16:26

But I cant say we are trying to save costs ie the pool heating will be off while we are away and then turn it back on the minute we get home - if that makes sense

It doesn’t really. What do you mean? I think you’re quite justified to say that you intend to turn the pool heating off while you’re away, in view of the enormous hike in energy prices, people need to make savings where they can.

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 29/03/2022 16:26

Just say that you aren't going to leave it on when you go away any more due to cost and worries that people being responsible for the care of the pool without you being there.

Guiltypleasures001 · 29/03/2022 16:27

Just say no, she's getting a good run from using it anyway, she's taking advantage and you shouldn't feel pressured

BronwenFrideswide · 29/03/2022 16:29

Just say no, it's not that hard is it?

Your friend has asked a question to which there are only two possible responses - Yes or No - if your friend hasn't factored in the negative response then that is a problem for your friend.

I really never understand this difficulty people have to say 'No' to something, if I ask a question of a friend or for a favour or whatever, I never assume that the answer will always be 'Yes', why would I? I respect their right to say 'No'.

watcherintherye · 29/03/2022 16:29

I have no idea, but I imagine it costs quite a lot to maintain the pool temperature for a week?