AIBU To Not Let DPs ExW Use Holiday Home

[Stupified]

Been with DP for 4 years - each have our own children (mine 13 & 10, his 7 & 14) Mine are with me full time, no contact with their dad, DP has 50-50 arrangement.
About three years ago, I came into some money through the loss of a family member and invested it in buying a property in Wales. It’s taken a lot of work with redecorating, etc. to get it just how we want it and we love it. Have spent a lot of time there making it a ‘second home’ and it is particularly special as this is where my DP and I spend time ‘living together’ - as we don’t usually.
DPs ExW has started dropping hints to him that she’s ‘heard all about it’, ‘would love to see it’ and how she ‘can’t afford’ a holiday. DPs son piped up ‘mummy could take us to the Wales house’ and it was all very awkward - DP now feels guilty and said (to me) that maybe we should let her - AIBU to say no way?

You're right - No Way.....

No bloody way. Eugh. She wants to sleep in your bed.

YANBU, you and DP can take the kids there, she’s a CF.

Wow. That’s very cheeky. No.

It’s your house, you don’t have to invite anyone you don’t want, simple!
Of course a kid will suggest it, I’m assuming the kid has been there and in his mind is a simple solution
Nothing wrong with saying no

Hell no!! No further discussion required.

Gosh, she is a CF, but also your DP is a bit for suggesting it...You're not married, you don't live together or have children together, and it sounds like the property is only yours, and he is saying 'maybe we should let her''? Not a chance.

No need to feel guilty about saying no.
Do you ever loan/hire it out to other friends or family? If not, that obviously strengthens your case to DP – but even if you do, it is still okay to say no

Goodness me, no!

That’s going way over normal boundaries.
So invasive and inappropriate.

This is your house, not your DPs. So it is nothing to do with him or his family. I’d be shutting down any discussion about it with your DP. As in “what a strange idea that your ex would even think about wanting to stay in my house. Obviously, that’s not happening. I’m uncomfortable just thinking about it.”

No. If DPs child wants to visit then he can come with you. No way to letting the ex use it!

That is your special place with your partner. If his exw sleeps there it will be forever tainted for you. Your holiday home is really nothing to do with her. Tell your stepson that the Wales house is yours and his Dad's special place so his Mum will need to sort her own holidays out. Tell him about those Sun holidays you collect coupons in paper for. Your ex should NEVER ask you to offer your things to his exw. I would tell him never to mention it again.

Dp can rent an air bnb for his ex if he feels so way inclined.

I've been in a similar position but I said absolutely not.
If it was your dp's property then it may be different.
You have a right to feel comfortable in your own home.

No; it’s not “just a holiday home” but somewhere quite precious to you and you’re under no obligation to share it.

No fucking way. She can save up and buy her own place. Is she always a CF?

That would be a firm no from me too. If I ever have a holiday home my bedroom will not be used by anyone else and guests will be very limited. Its just too personal.

DP now feels guilty and said (to me) that maybe we should let her

As the old joke goes, “What’s this we shit, white man?”

It’s YOUR house. Not his, not shared. Yours. Your rules, your boundaries, your everything. She’s a CF and he’s an idiot for telling her about or even hinting it might be possible.

@SprayedWithDettol

No bloody way. Eugh. She wants to sleep in your bed.

^ this!!

Tell DP to shut down that whole conversation/suggestion, or you will.

Hard no for me, very out of order

@SprayedWithDettol

No bloody way. Eugh. She wants to sleep in your bed.

And rummage through your drawers!

@Deliaskis

Gosh, she is a CF, but also your DP is a bit for suggesting it...You're not married, you don't live together or have children together, and it sounds like the property is only yours, and he is saying 'maybe we should let her''? Not a chance.

Absolutely. Yuck.

Phew! Thanks for all the replies - I’m glad I’m not being an arse about it, but it very much would feel like an invasion of privacy.
In terms of DP, I think he has a weird guilt over certain things - he and his ExW are from a very modest background and it must seem to ExW that DP has ‘fallen on his feet’ somewhat, so I do see it from that perspective - not that I’m rich by any means! Just ‘fortunate’ (if that’s the right term in view of inheritance… )
All of the children come there with us regularly, so it’s a place for us all to be together, and I do want them to feel comfortable and at home there - but feel like it would be a step too far for their mum to take them there…

Hell no. Why does he think it’s a “we” decision? 😆

Is your boyfriend's name on this holiday house or is it yours alone?

If your boyfriend's name isn't on the house, why does he feel he should let it out to his ex-wife? It is odd to me that your boyfriend wants to sully your house like this.