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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to go to Glastonbury?

214 replies

WizzardPjs · 24/03/2022 13:25

DH absolutely loves Glastonbury and has been going to every one since well before we met. He used to go with his ex wife and kids and said they loved it but I’ve since learnt from the kids that his ex and youngest son hated it and only went because he loved it so much.

When we got together he asked me to go with him and I agreed as I’d never been before. I kind of enjoyed it but found it very tiring, too busy, hated not getting a shower for days etc etc but on the whole, quite enjoyed the experience.

Then the next year he booked for us to go again. I didn’t like it as much this time and we ended up arguing at one point.

We went to the next one … I didn’t really enjoy it at all, the music is not to my taste at all, I hate the hot stuffy tents all on top of each other, I don’t like the attention seeking people, the noise, the dirt …

We went to the next one and I absolutely hated it. So much so that I burst into tears at one point as I was so overwhelmed, I got sunstroke, I was claustrophobic, hated the music (there literally wasn’t one band there that I liked), swore I’d never go again. Told DH.

Then Covid hit and we’ve had a good few years away from it now thank fuck.

DH has just announced that tickets are on sale this weekend. I’ve told him I don’t want to go but he is more than welcome to go with my cousin and her boyfriend who already have tickets and he gets on well with … he also met people there a few years back who he gets on well with so could easily meet up with them.

He’s gutted and says it won’t be the same without me, he doesn’t want to play gooseberry with other couples and really wants me to go with him. I’ve told him I genuinely hate it. It’s not me at all, it’s the complete opposite to what I find fun. I reminded him that last time I ended up in tears (and I never cry!!).

I told him I want to stay home with the dogs. He would probably enjoy it more without me there moaning anyway!! I don’t like socialising, I don’t drink alcohol anymore, I don’t like barging my way through crowds or fighting my way to the front of the stages … nor do I like trudging across acres and acres of fields to watch bands I’ve never heard of and I struggle to stay away passed 11pm as I’m a chronic anaemic - all the things he likes to do so I actually limit his experience if anything. I’m also diagnosed autistic so the sensory overload can make me irrationally angry, stressed out and emotional.

Now - to add balance - DH often does stuff he doesn’t particularly like for me … such as going to crufts, staying in “haunted” castles, going around museums etc but all this stuff is a day max - Glastonbury is 5 nights of hell for me.

At crufts this year he actually said “it’s ok, but I couldn’t do it for more than 1 day” !!!!

I know he loves Glastonbury and I don’t want to ruin this for him but I really really don’t want to go anymore. It’s not like I havnt given it a good go!?

YABU - just go - it’s 5 nights away and he does stuff you like
YANBU - you’ve tried it, you don’t like it - he can go on his own, you’re not asking him not to go, you just won’t be joining him.

OP posts:
Onlyhuman123 · 25/03/2022 11:16

I wouldn't put yourself at risk i.e. health - if you ended up in the medical tent. I think you've done amazing to go 5 times. I've never been and don't ever want to.

Are you able to go for 1 day? If not then he'll just have to accept that he goes with friends/family members and not you. Him saying 'oh i won't enjoy it as much if you're not there' is just emotional blackmail. Of course he'll enjoy himself if, as you say, he'll be drinking from 10am...

Chishnfips · 25/03/2022 11:40

Stand your ground and tell him you're not going. Thats 1 more chance that I might be able to get a ticket and I actually want to go.

Branleuse · 25/03/2022 12:09

if you refuse to go altogether, do you think he will then refuse to do things for you that hes not keen on

felulageller · 25/03/2022 12:21

Does he understand what you being autistic means?

If you were physically disabled would he have the same attitude?

Momicrone · 25/03/2022 12:46

There is no way I would want to go to Glastonbury with someone who didn't like it, they'd be such an energy drain and fun sponge

Fupoffyagrasshole · 25/03/2022 13:06

It’s too late to decide now you want to stay in luxury camping it all sold out the day the tickets went on sale - same with canpervan tickets

Anyway the op doesn’t want to go so that’s the end of it

Also he’s not getting tickets 😂😂

Whatafustercluck · 25/03/2022 13:15

YANBU. I have been going since I was 15 and met my DH there but you need to really throw yourself into it to really like it - get pissed or take drugs. I've had some amazing times there. Wild, uninhibited times.

You really don't need to get pissed or take drugs. Plenty of families enjoy it, and I myself went when I was 18 weeks pregnant and stone cold sober throughout in 2010. The weather was glorious and it was my favourite year, met some lovely people. I've done the hedonistic Glastonbury too, stayed up all night, campfire at the Stone Circle etc. You're right though that you do have to throw yourself into it. And it's just not some people's idea of a good time, which is fine too.

mnnewbie111 · 25/03/2022 13:20

@MiddleParking

He sounds like a dick.
Completely unnecessary
LivingDeadGirlUK · 25/03/2022 13:23

Does he want you to go so you can drive? I'm really struggling to understand why he would want to go to a festival with someone who doesn't enjoy it :/

I love Download festival but we once went for the full 4 nights instead of 2 and it was too much and we just didn't enjoy it as much as the times I went friday-sun.

LoudingVoice · 26/03/2022 07:58

@Fupoffyagrasshole

It’s too late to decide now you want to stay in luxury camping it all sold out the day the tickets went on sale - same with canpervan tickets

Anyway the op doesn’t want to go so that’s the end of it

Also he’s not getting tickets 😂😂

Exactly! The likelihood of actually getting tickets in the resale is absolutely minuscule - if he was that big a fan he’d have them rolled over from 2020 Grin
LoudingVoice · 26/03/2022 08:00

@Momicrone

There is no way I would want to go to Glastonbury with someone who didn't like it, they'd be such an energy drain and fun sponge
Completely agree, doing a festival with someone who isn’t into it is no fun for anyone at all.

There’s no way I’d push someone who wasn’t keen into going I’d much rather go with people who were going to have a laugh.

LoudingVoice · 27/03/2022 10:30

Did he get a resale ticket @WizzardPjs?

WizzardPjs · 27/03/2022 17:18

@LoudingVoice

Did he get a resale ticket *@WizzardPjs*?
No he didn’t 😞 I did really try for him though, he was on computer and I was on the laptop plus I had two other friends trying for him too (see what a nice wife I am!? 😂) I managed to get through to the payment page where it timed out 😞 all tickets gone within 15 minutes
OP posts:
PinkiOcelot · 27/03/2022 17:56

God OP you’ve done better than I would have. Did you go 5 times?!! No chance.

My DH talked me into going to Santa Pod once. Once was more than enough for me. Worst weekend of my life. Glastonbury would be right up there with Santa Pod for me.

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