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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to go to Glastonbury?

214 replies

WizzardPjs · 24/03/2022 13:25

DH absolutely loves Glastonbury and has been going to every one since well before we met. He used to go with his ex wife and kids and said they loved it but I’ve since learnt from the kids that his ex and youngest son hated it and only went because he loved it so much.

When we got together he asked me to go with him and I agreed as I’d never been before. I kind of enjoyed it but found it very tiring, too busy, hated not getting a shower for days etc etc but on the whole, quite enjoyed the experience.

Then the next year he booked for us to go again. I didn’t like it as much this time and we ended up arguing at one point.

We went to the next one … I didn’t really enjoy it at all, the music is not to my taste at all, I hate the hot stuffy tents all on top of each other, I don’t like the attention seeking people, the noise, the dirt …

We went to the next one and I absolutely hated it. So much so that I burst into tears at one point as I was so overwhelmed, I got sunstroke, I was claustrophobic, hated the music (there literally wasn’t one band there that I liked), swore I’d never go again. Told DH.

Then Covid hit and we’ve had a good few years away from it now thank fuck.

DH has just announced that tickets are on sale this weekend. I’ve told him I don’t want to go but he is more than welcome to go with my cousin and her boyfriend who already have tickets and he gets on well with … he also met people there a few years back who he gets on well with so could easily meet up with them.

He’s gutted and says it won’t be the same without me, he doesn’t want to play gooseberry with other couples and really wants me to go with him. I’ve told him I genuinely hate it. It’s not me at all, it’s the complete opposite to what I find fun. I reminded him that last time I ended up in tears (and I never cry!!).

I told him I want to stay home with the dogs. He would probably enjoy it more without me there moaning anyway!! I don’t like socialising, I don’t drink alcohol anymore, I don’t like barging my way through crowds or fighting my way to the front of the stages … nor do I like trudging across acres and acres of fields to watch bands I’ve never heard of and I struggle to stay away passed 11pm as I’m a chronic anaemic - all the things he likes to do so I actually limit his experience if anything. I’m also diagnosed autistic so the sensory overload can make me irrationally angry, stressed out and emotional.

Now - to add balance - DH often does stuff he doesn’t particularly like for me … such as going to crufts, staying in “haunted” castles, going around museums etc but all this stuff is a day max - Glastonbury is 5 nights of hell for me.

At crufts this year he actually said “it’s ok, but I couldn’t do it for more than 1 day” !!!!

I know he loves Glastonbury and I don’t want to ruin this for him but I really really don’t want to go anymore. It’s not like I havnt given it a good go!?

YABU - just go - it’s 5 nights away and he does stuff you like
YANBU - you’ve tried it, you don’t like it - he can go on his own, you’re not asking him not to go, you just won’t be joining him.

OP posts:
LBFseBrom · 24/03/2022 19:50

@EachandEveryone

Theres always a band to love at Glastonbury. If Im lucky enough to get tickets I will be going to the Pet Shop Boys, Diana Ross, Jarvis and Rufus Wainwright. Age is not a thing at Glasto theres something for everyone. If you do go try and get tickets for Worthy View glamping its still in the festival and its at the good side where The Park is.

Fingers crossed for all us trying tonight and Sunday x

Excellent!
Momicrone · 24/03/2022 19:58

You don't have to like festivals but to say all the music is crap and all the people are tedious is just completely narrow minded and childish

EachandEveryone · 24/03/2022 20:16

I going 😀😀😀

Laiste · 24/03/2022 21:05

THREE HUNDRED POUNDS?? Shock

I went once. Mid 80s.
I think a ticket was 20 quid ...

LouLou198 · 24/03/2022 22:37

Go to Glastonbury, but book yourself in a nice hotel! Do you have to get a ticket for the whole weekend or are you able to get day tickets?

Iflyaway · 24/03/2022 22:46

You need to ask yourself one question.

Why am I letting a man dictate to me how I want to live my life?

I love a good festival, but only on my own terms. Independence, come and go as I please.

I'm not a performing poodle ffs!

Iflyaway · 24/03/2022 22:50

Oh, and I much prefer to watch it on BBC from the comfort of my own sofa.... Smile

Beyonce was amazing all those years ago.....

WizzardPjs · 24/03/2022 23:32

I wouldn’t even want to watch it on telly, it bores me to tears

OP posts:
LoudingVoice · 24/03/2022 23:37

@LouLou198

Go to Glastonbury, but book yourself in a nice hotel! Do you have to get a ticket for the whole weekend or are you able to get day tickets?
Day tickets aren’t on general sale for Glastonbury, you can only one if you’re local.

It would be a huge pain in the arse to travel in and out to a hotel every day, unless you’re a vip with your own chauffeur.

LoudingVoice · 24/03/2022 23:40

It’s only the resale this Sunday, I mean the likelihood of actually getting tickets is tiny.

Obviously don’t go if you don’t want to but if he’s such a huge fan didn’t he try for a ticket in 2020 and roll it over?

It’s a bit late to suddenly try for them now, are your registrations even still valid? (That could actually be a way to definitely get out of it, cancel your registration profile!)

thingymaboob · 24/03/2022 23:58

YANBU. I have been going since I was 15 and met my DH there but you need to really throw yourself into it to really like it - get pissed or take drugs. I've had some amazing times there. Wild, uninhibited times.
I found it a bit much when I last went about 7 years ago and am not keen to go again. Although I'd love to see Paul McCartney. It's mega busy and now I'm close to 40 I need my home comforts like a bed, shower and toilet! Let DH go alone

burnthur5t · 25/03/2022 00:05

If I had to choose between going to Glastonbury and slumming it in a tent or staying home with some dogs I'd go for option C, poke myself in the eye

DustyOwl · 25/03/2022 00:09

YANBU and I say that as someone who has gone for years. I love it but I understand why you wouldn't, and that's fine.
Don't let him guilt trip you. Say you are not upset, it's just something you don't want to do and you will be waiting for him with a warm bath, when he gets back. Then wave him off and do something you love for the weekend. Sorted.

thingymaboob · 25/03/2022 00:14

@burnthur5t

If I had to choose between going to Glastonbury and slumming it in a tent or staying home with some dogs I'd go for option C, poke myself in the eye
😂🤣
Appalonia · 25/03/2022 00:21

I LOVE Glastonbury....watching from discomfort of my sofa! Let him go with his mates while you have a good time at home. And I agree, the idea of going to some smaller, more intimate festivals is good, if you're up for that

Cheeseplease1976 · 25/03/2022 06:54

I love Glastonbury and I am going this year. But I wouldn’t go if I felt like you do! It is a massive massive slog - I walked 70 miles the last time and it nearly broke me! This time I am staying off site at a place with showers etc and which isn’t in the thick of it- it’s a quiet haven from the madness!

roastednut · 25/03/2022 07:29

I'm going this year for the first time. Really don't fancy the slog but my DH wants to go and I've told myself that it only has to be this one time (and it will be - unless I love it and want to go again of course!).

I am quite worried though as I've had enough slog for various reasons this year! We are staying in pre-erected glamping tents though with hot showers etc just off-site but apparently walking distance (called Zooloos). Breakfast included. If anyone has been to these and can give me any insight then please do. Not that I can sell my tickets on now, but maybe I'll know what to expect anyway!

roastednut · 25/03/2022 07:31

@Cheeseplease1976 sounds like you could be staying at same place actually and by your name you could be similar age! Smile

Cheeseplease1976 · 25/03/2022 07:37

@roastednut ha ha, it’s not where I am staying as it goes but I know of it and it will be great and you’ll have a brilliant time! The advantage of staying off site (apart from proper loos & showers) is having a break from the madness somewhere quiet! It’s the only way I can do it these days (I am actually 48 & the birth year is my sister on my profile!) and there is NO WAY in could stay on site! It would break me. I need sleep, quiet etc to be able to enjoy the festival!

It’s honestly the best place- it’s utterly joyful but nearing 50, I need to recuperate properly to be able to appreciate it!

HappyDays40 · 25/03/2022 07:46

I am a seasoned festival goer. We go to qbout five each summer as a family, we build our family holiday around the last three weeks of summer cramming in as many festivals as we can but I wouldn't go to Glastonbury if you paid me double the ticket price.

LoudingVoice · 25/03/2022 08:00

I’m going to Glastonbury & I love it, but it’s not really about Glastonbury is it, it’s about the OPs partner just ignoring the fact this isn’t something she wants to do.

It’s completely normal to still have your own interests, you don’t need to do absolutely everything together.

Let him try for a ticket in the resale and go with friends, he’s actually pretty unlikely to get one anyway in all honesty.

dottiedodah · 25/03/2022 08:13

I personally hate camping ,crowds ,and limited access to loo! So understand where you're at.i can't see why he is so fussed about going without you.the fact you were upset should tell him all he needs to know. He is being rather unreasonable I think. Just because he goes to crafts ,museums for the day is neither here nor there .not staying overnight so no issue

Wheniruletheworld · 25/03/2022 08:22

Unless you are headlining on the main stage, avoid it like the plague. Which is probably what will happen post-event given the govt seem to think covid has left the country!

Branleuse · 25/03/2022 09:45

I wonder if he would fork out to stay in the luxury bits, maybe you might enjoy it if it wasnt roughing it

Malibuismysecrethome · 25/03/2022 11:11

My son goes luxury he says after a day it’s unbearable and stays at nearby hotel as there are courtesy buses. If the weather is bad it’s a quagmire all over whether you are in a Winnebago or similar. I suppose you have somewhere to escape the weather though.