Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect family money being passed on

390 replies

Soffana · 23/03/2022 11:21

Am I being AIBU if I think that parents that had an inheritance and profited on that when it comes to property investment should pass money on to the next generation and not spend it all?

That money should be passed on from generation to generation?

For example helping next generation buying property?

OP posts:
HoppingPavlova · 23/03/2022 11:22

Nope

Itloggedmeoutagain · 23/03/2022 11:22

YABU for thinking you have any say in how money that is not yours is spent

Thoosa · 23/03/2022 11:23

People will do all manner of things, whether in line with their predecessors’ expectations or not.

Some people are selfish, manipulative or punitive.

Others are generous, inclusive and family minded.

I’m not sure thinking in terms of “should” helps unless you have some influence over the situation.

LadyMaid · 23/03/2022 11:24

Inheritance belongs to the person who inherited it.
End of.

girlmom21 · 23/03/2022 11:24

YABU. If my parents want to piss every penny up the wall it makes no difference to me. I'd like to think they'll have fun doing it.

Shoxfordian · 23/03/2022 11:24

It’s entirely up to them what they do with their money

TabithaTittlemouse · 23/03/2022 11:25

I would rather my parents enjoy life.

CounsellorTroi · 23/03/2022 11:26

You think you are more entitled to inherit the money than they are to spend it on whatever care they might need?

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 23/03/2022 11:27

Yabu

backinthebox · 23/03/2022 11:28

Yanbu but people on MN have a very ‘black and white’ approach to family money and inheritance. My dad inherited his share of a family business. He made some poor decisions which resulted in his share of the business not being passed to his children, and the person who did inherit it (estranged wife through intestacy) is in the process of dismantling the business, affecting 7 families in doing so. I’m philosophical about it, but it really should have stayed in the family ie been passed to his children, as it has been passed through the last 4 generations. It was part of the conditions he inherited it on. If you read MN though, it was never mine and iabu to have ever considered it would be.

sasparilla1 · 23/03/2022 11:28

No, just no.

Dinorawr22 · 23/03/2022 11:28

Yabu and grabby. I hope your parents see this and spend it all out of spite.I

FrownedUpon · 23/03/2022 11:28

Not your business. People can do what they like with their money. Best to focus on your own life & earn your own money.

Thoosa · 23/03/2022 11:29

What I have learned from watching various inheritance dramas around me play out, though, (one friend’s mum, particularly), is to leave my estate to DGC and DC equally.

I think it’s a common error to trust everything to the wisdom of one person or one generation.

Now the question is how to split the portion for the (still theoretical) DGC.

Original poster
Soffana · 23/03/2022 11:29

I know it is not legally "should". But consider this:

Great-grandparents and grandparents helped next generation with buying a house, that has made parents' life easier.

Should not the money be passed on to generation after that? Would you not help your children get an easier life?

OP posts:
Bellyups · 23/03/2022 11:29

You have absolutely no say in how others spend their money.

Lou98 · 23/03/2022 11:30

What would be the point though in inheriting money to just keep passing that money down and nobody ever spending it?

If they've bought property with it, surely they'll then leave that property to somebody.

If they haven't and they've wasted it all away, it was their money to do with as they wish

Thoosa · 23/03/2022 11:31

@Dinorawr22

Yabu and grabby. I hope your parents see this and spend it all out of spite.I
Gosh you sound nice. Hmm

How can you tell from what’s been posted who the grabby ones are? (If any).

OP is talking about inter generational money. Not money that one individual has personally earned and then decides how to dispose of.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 23/03/2022 11:31

My parents had a big inheritance.

Honestly... I look at it and feel a massive relief that if it is necessary there is money there for a decent nursing home.

Original poster
Soffana · 23/03/2022 11:33

Interesting. Just to make clear it is not about me, I am just making a philosophical and moral question.

I have inherited and am not spending it all as I want to help my children out. Just thinking what you are planning to do.

As I can read here you will all spend your money and not give anything to your children?

For me that would be morally wrong.

OP posts:
AchillesPoirot · 23/03/2022 11:34

No. Normally perhaps but legally they can do what they like.

SalsaLove · 23/03/2022 11:34

I agree OP, although I know it’s not a popular opinion around here. And in my experience most parents want to help their children by leaving whatever they can.

AchillesPoirot · 23/03/2022 11:34

Morally

Bloody phone

CatherinedeBourgh · 23/03/2022 11:35

I intend to pass on the inheritance I received. However, I am not expecting pil to pass on the inheritance they received (and know they won't).

If my dc were expecting me to pass mine on I would be less inclined to do so.

Hoppinggreen · 23/03/2022 11:35

Nope, Grabby McGraberson
My Mum inherited money from her parents. She can do what she wants with it it’s hers.