Upset over partners mortgage AIBU

[Mfsf]

My partner moved in 2 years ago , prior to this I lived alone with my 2 kids and paid all my bills and consider myself quite independent financially .
When he moved in it meant he had to leave his job abroad . He found a job straight away but he earns half of what I do . So basically I kept paying everything as I already did it anyway and he pays some food shopping when he comes shopping with us . I have a ok wage but I don’t have much after paying for everything myself and now 3 children , with covid some months I even struggled this year , but normally enough to visit my family abroad and a small holiday that my kids love and got used too and that we have always done .
We have since had a baby together .
I actually do not mind the financial burden is mostly on me all of the time , with his wages he is paying his mortgage and child support for his child ( obviously this last is 100% fine and essential) .
My issue now is he cannot afford to go on holiday , even if I pay for it he will still have his mortgage and it would mean he would not earn for those weeks .
This has really upset me , this is not something I want to take away from my kids . Why should I stop myself from giving my kids what they are used too so he can have a empty house that he pays mortgage for? He refuses to let it too .
He has this “ idealistic idea “ that it’s something he can leave his son , which is fine but not only he still has 20 years of mortgage to pay but his ex wife is still in the mortgage despite not paying for it since they divorced 7 years ago . So I’m expected to never be able to go on holiday or even contemplate a place together simply because he likes the idea to have a home ?
I love him , the kids love him but I admit the fact he pays towards this completely separate life to us and expects me to make sacrifices is really starting to make me resent him .
To make it “ worse “ my youngest eventually will need some childcare and I’m pretty sure he is assuming I will pay for it or just work with her at home ( I do work from home but I have constant meetings and we did discuss I would need at least a few days a week of childcare as I have meetings and constant phone calls )
Am I being unreasonable to fell upset ?

What mortgage is he paying if he is living with you?

Go on holiday without him? Is that not an option?

Why doesn't he let out his house so it pays the mortgage?

Perhaps kick him out and receive child maintenance. You'd be better off. He is definitely taking the piss and doesn't see you as worthy of letting out his house to bring in some much needed cash for you all.

He needs to either let his house out or live in it. Not just keep paying the mortgage whilst it is sat empty.

You all move into the house he is paying mortgage on and you keep your place as inheritance for your children..

It sounds like you have been subsidizing his lifestyle from the outset, the alarm bells should have been ringing when he moved in with you and his only contribution was just a bit of food shopping, unfortunately you've gone onto have a child with him so walking away isn't really an option anymore and now your own children will miss out on doing the things they like doing in life like your holidays you had planned.

As for future childcare for your youngest I think you already know that you will be paying for this when the time comes, you both are financially incompatible and it's now coming to a head where you are being taken advantage of here, What we're the financial plans you both agreed and discussed when you both decided to have a child together?

He’s got two children? He’s entirely prioritising one of then while taking from the other. He’s prioritising his ex over your, his current partner.

He’s a massive moocher.

Not sure what you can do now if h wont sell or rent the house. All this should have been resolved before he move in and you had a baby together

Why can’t he sell it?

Is he actually divorced? Why wasn’t the house sorted in the financial settlement?

Omfg. You pay for everything so he can keep his house empty?

Time to make some changes.

So he's happy to leave a house just stay empty during a housing and homelessness crisis? I wouldn't fancy a man like that.

He's riding the money train, nip it in the butt or forever pay for him no way would I put up with that.
Please make sure you take you dc on holiday why should they miss out because off him.

Sorry I should have added , his home is abroad so us living there is not a option

Is his older child abroad as well?

Have the holiday there?

You are not gaining anything from this arrangement. Worse than that your dc are missing out

You shouldn't have entered into a relationship with this man and had a child with him when he is burdened with these financial commitments. I'd show him the door and tell him to come back when he has sorted out his finances.

He either sells his property abroad, or rents it out to cover the mortgage

Then he uses the money he pays now towards laying a proper portion of the bills

In the meantime take your kids on holiday and he stays at home

Can he find a better paying job? Could he do condensed hours, so do 5 days over 4 to have one day as childcare? He needs to start pulling his weight

@Mfsf

Sorry I should have added , his home is abroad so us living there is not a option

Tbh that changes things.If his child lives abroad then he's of his own choice left said child to live with you.

Is his ex wife still living in the house he’s paying the mortgage on?

Yes he is a teen and he is abroad , comes to visit us and they have a good relationship

Why is he not renting out the home??
You feel responsible because he moved over here, he gave uo his job-you are happy to subsidise your life?
Hmm unless you told him you would -then hes not taking the mick is he?
You need to start spiltting everything percent wise: 2/3 you 1/3 him , 3/4 you 1/4 him depending on wage diparity

That shoudl help you feel less of a mug amd him budget better.
Its up to yous what you do re: uour own home. You share children now, this can get messy if yous dont sort it. You cant have one child inheriting ?
Did yous not discuss any of this before he left a country and a job to be with uou?

This is insane... how do you even know, if he eventually divorces, he'll keep the house ? Are you sure you know the full story?

Meanwhile no one goes on holiday? So he can keep paying for the house. But not contributing to family life. What a disgusting sponge.

No, no, no. He needs to contribute towards your household bills! (And take legal advice about protecting your home from him should you split.) The holiday is frustrating but that he is merely buying shopping now and then is far, far from acceptable. What does he spend his money on?

His child lived with his mum prior to this and he lived abroad already just another country to where his house and son are so he did not leave him to be with us , he was already abroad .

Are you 10000% sure he isnt paying the mortgage and the ex and child living there?

Put your foot down. He needs to pay to live with you, no ifs or buts.