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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents won't see us until we are all negative

205 replies

mag2305 · 21/03/2022 10:24

So myself, hubby and two children all have covid at the moment. We've thankfully all had it mildly but are all testing positive 9 days on. I'm aware that without symptoms, you don't have to keep testing beyond day 10. The problem is my parents won't see any of us until we test negative. I totally understand they don't want to get it as they're late 60s but we could go on testing positive for ages yet. They help with childcare so we can work so it's going to make things quite difficult and we can't afford to pay for childcare right now. I don't want to stress my parents out and it's obviously their choice. They're amazing providing childcare but I'm also worrying about work. AIBU?

OP posts:
TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 21/03/2022 10:25

They’re being very sensible.

I was really unwell when I had it, I’d do everything to avoid getting it again.

DropYourSword · 21/03/2022 10:27

I'm sorry, and I get it will have a significant impact on you, but in this instance I agree with them so think YABU

ReadyToMoveIt · 21/03/2022 10:27

Fundamentally it’s their choice and if they’re not comfortable then they’re not comfortable. Providing childcare is a massive favour. It’s likely you’ll all test negative soon anyway, none of the 5 of us were positive after day 10.

PurpleDaisies · 21/03/2022 10:27

I’m not sure you do “totally understand”. I don’t think saying no to spending time with people still testing positive is unreasonable. Your parents aren’t doing anything sting.

WeCouldBeSpearows · 21/03/2022 10:27

Yanbu to be concerned about work

They anbu to be concerned about COVID

MagentaRocks · 21/03/2022 10:27

They are being sensible. You might have mild symptoms but they might not if they got it. I had mild symptoms, i know people who had heart problems and still not well nearly a year after having it.

EmpressCixi · 21/03/2022 10:27

I agree with your parents also. You do realise testing positive and then being in close contact for hours means almost certain transmission of Covid?

PurpleDaisies · 21/03/2022 10:27

Wrong not sting!

PurpleDaisies · 21/03/2022 10:28

@EmpressCixi

I agree with your parents also. You do realise testing positive and then being in close contact for hours means almost certain transmission of Covid?
That’s not necessarily true. Lots of households have positive people who don’t transmit on to their housemates, despite not distancing. Dh didn’t catch it from me.
ReadyToMoveIt · 21/03/2022 10:29

@EmpressCixi

I agree with your parents also. You do realise testing positive and then being in close contact for hours means almost certain transmission of Covid?
The data actually shows that after day 10, even if testing positive, you’re highly unlikely to still be infectious. That’s why the quarantine was set at 10 days. It’s still their choice though.
HeadPain · 21/03/2022 10:31

Your parents are right

PinkiOcelot · 21/03/2022 10:31

You can continue to test positive for up to 90 days. Are they going to refuse to see you for the next 3 months?

Original poster
mag2305 · 21/03/2022 10:32

I'm just stressed about it being so open ended. I do understand my parents reasons, absolutely. But if we get to day 12, 13, 14, etc and still testing positive, I feel like we're going to be risking our jobs. Feeling very anxious about it all. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place.

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 21/03/2022 10:32

After 14 days they are being unreasonable. You are infectious for around two days before symptoms and 10 days after. So after two weeks you won't be transmitting infection, even though you test positive.

ReadyToMoveIt · 21/03/2022 10:32

@PinkiOcelot

You can continue to test positive for up to 90 days. Are they going to refuse to see you for the next 3 months?
On PCR, yes. Extremely unlikely on LFT as they are nowhere near as sensitive.
Original poster
mag2305 · 21/03/2022 10:33

@PinkiOcelot

You can continue to test positive for up to 90 days. Are they going to refuse to see you for the next 3 months?
This is what I'm wondering?!
OP posts:
ReadyToMoveIt · 21/03/2022 10:33

@mag2305

I'm just stressed about it being so open ended. I do understand my parents reasons, absolutely. But if we get to day 12, 13, 14, etc and still testing positive, I feel like we're going to be risking our jobs. Feeling very anxious about it all. I feel like I'm caught between a rock and a hard place.
Well if they’ve said no, they’ve said no, so you’re not between a rock and a hard place as there’s nothing you can do about it. You’re just in a hard place! Options are to find alternative childcare or manage it with your employers.
AlternativePerspective · 21/03/2022 10:34

YABU. And if one of your parents catches COVID from you then your childcare will be up shit creek anyway.

I was supposed to meet a friend who has just tested negative after having had COVID. I will in fact be staying away from him for more than just the time he’s tested positive. I am in heart failure and not taking any chances.

The “well I had mild symptoms” statement is irrelevant. Plenty of people don’t have mild symptoms. Hence why tens of thousands of people have died.

NeedAHoliday2021 · 21/03/2022 10:36

If they catch covid they won’t be able to provide childcare either.

Brefugee · 21/03/2022 10:38

If we believe in bodily autonomy for some things (vaccinations, abortions etc) then we must believe in it for all things. That includes deciding against taking risks with our health. I've just had covid. I was laid flat for 5 days, really ill. DH had what was like a case of very mild sniffles. You don't know how it's going to go until you get it. Your parents are making the right decision for them.
YANBU to worry about your job, but their health is important for them. Who will take care of them if they get long covid? You?
So, OP, what is your stance on bodily autonomy?

PurpleDaisies · 21/03/2022 10:38

@PinkiOcelot

You can continue to test positive for up to 90 days. Are they going to refuse to see you for the next 3 months?
Not for lfts
titchy · 21/03/2022 10:38

You won't test positive for 90 days with a LFT Hmm

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/03/2022 10:40

With all due respect your childcare issues aren’t their concern- find a solution- what if they were unwell and unable to look after your children.

Onlyforcake · 21/03/2022 10:40

It's not their fault if your employer refused to accept parenting demands as a reason for an absence. They're cautious, that's their choice. Would actual childcare still accept children testing positive?

MrsLegend · 21/03/2022 10:40

I wouldn't either if I were your parents.

Are you aware that it has the potential to be serious for the older generation? And you're happy to let that happen?

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