Parents won't see us until we are all negative

[mag2305]

So myself, hubby and two children all have covid at the moment. We've thankfully all had it mildly but are all testing positive 9 days on. I'm aware that without symptoms, you don't have to keep testing beyond day 10. The problem is my parents won't see any of us until we test negative. I totally understand they don't want to get it as they're late 60s but we could go on testing positive for ages yet. They help with childcare so we can work so it's going to make things quite difficult and we can't afford to pay for childcare right now. I don't want to stress my parents out and it's obviously their choice. They're amazing providing childcare but I'm also worrying about work. AIBU?

I wouldn’t want to intentionally expose my parents to a positive child.

@mag2305

My son is testing positive on day 5 but no symptoms. Can he go back to nursery yet? Is it a legal requirement to keep him off. He only does half days but it might help with work and childcare a bit.

What's the nursery policy on Covid? Although not legal requirement, ours is still asking for two negative tests on or after day 7 or no tests past the 10 days. We used to have to keep them home if parents were positive but it's not a requirement anymore in our nursery so that does helps. But no, you should absolutely not knowingly send a Covid + child to nursery.

I get you are frustrated OP, I really do but your posts are coming across as if you absolutely do not care who you infect / repercussions for others as long as no one inconveniences you / your childcare set ups. Seems like the issue isn't Covid but your employer and that's what you should address. Your parents are NBU.

That’s meant to say on day 6 he’s still testing negative!

None of us can tell you your nursery’s policy.
Sounds like you’re dependent upon your parents providing childcare for you, that’s a huge amount of pressure to put on them. They’re being rightfully cautious, and maybe enjoying a break too.

Your parents don’t owe you free child care. You may need to pay someone who is willing to risk exposure to Covid.

I think that's fair enough for your parents. They don't want to get it, so of course they don't want to provide childcare for a positive child. If they catch it off your child then they will be isolating anyway, so you will have the childcare issue for longer.

It's really annoying about work, but there's not much you can do apart from do work/childcare in shifts if you can work from home, or find childcare which will take them.

I think people are being a bit harsh. The guidance has always been after 10 days you can stop isolating and stop testing so it’s not like you’re asking your parents to look after your child against scientific advice?

As people said, the likelihood is that you’ll test negative soon though.

On the point about your son going back to nursery on day 5 because he has no symptoms, that’s a hard no though!

If someone was still testing positive I wouldn’t want to see them either…

@titchy

You won't test positive for 90 days with a LFT

So why am I exempt from testing on LFT for 90 days following covid when I visit my mam in her care home?!!🤔

YABVU

They don’t arrange this childcare with one day’s notice, though, do they.
I understand OP’s parents being cautious but I don’t think there’s an easy solution to the childcare problem.
Relying on family for childcare isn’t a good idea for reasons like this, but obviously not everyone can afford to pay for full time care.

I get why you're frustrated and worried OP but YABU.

Why don't you call your sons nursery and ask them?

My step dad was still testing positive until day 10 and then it was negative. Day 9 was still a really strong positive and suddenly on day 10 it was negative.

I think your parents are right to be careful and personally I wouldn’t want to put them in a position of having to worry or feel bad not taking the kids. I would figure something else out and take each day as it comes regarding positive results. It is crap for you but just can’t be helped.

So why am I exempt from testing on LFT for 90 days following covid when I visit my mam in her care home?!!

They’re probably going off out of date information.

We had the same. DS and I testing negative within a week but it took over 2 weeks for DH we absolutely told people and let them make their own decision. He tested negative then positive again so we're giving it an extra week to make sure he's truly negative before visiting vulnerable loved ones.

@username9871028

If someone was still testing positive I wouldn’t want to see them either…

But most people stop testing after 10 days so you wouldn't know!

So why am I exempt from testing on LFT for 90 days following covid when I visit my mam in her care home?!!🤔

It’s probably either because you’re considered to have protection for re-infection for 90 days or because they’ve confused LFT with PCR, which can continue to show the same infection for 90 days.

If it’s the former, it’s not correct - school friends of my DS just had a new infection 7 weeks after another one.

@NewMum0305

I think people are being a bit harsh. The guidance has always been after 10 days you can stop isolating and stop testing so it’s not like you’re asking your parents to look after your child against scientific advice?

As people said, the likelihood is that you’ll test negative soon though.

On the point about your son going back to nursery on day 5 because he has no symptoms, that’s a hard no though!

Sure, but you don't have to do someone a favour because it isn't explicitly advised against by the government. The parents might even be more cautious than most, but it's not exactly an unreasonable boundary to draw the line at babysitting a positive child. She's asked and they've said no, which is fair enough.

YABU.

I tested positive until day 15. I was told that while they don’t think people are contagious after the 10 days, some people might be, so I continued to isolate away from a vulnerable family member until I was negative just to be sure.

Your parents are in their late 60s, they’re being sensible and I can’t understand why you’d want to risk it.

Of course you're being unreasonable. You just want free childcare and don't care if you give your parents COVID!? What is wrong with you?

If you’re still making an LFT turns positive you are still shedding enough virus to infect someone. It sucks you rely on them for childcare, but just think if they get it and end up in hospital or with long covid then that’s your childcare permanently over.

Do people seriously still take advice from this Govt?

Much as I love them, I wouldn’t babysit a positive grandchild either, thanks.

@EmpressCixi

I agree with your parents also. You do realise testing positive and then being in close contact for hours means almost certain transmission of Covid?

Dh snd I didn’t get from dd who we kissed cuddled etc as she’s 4

Wasn’t going to send her to her room as known some family’s have done. Not at 4

Fine if a teenager, they are prob in room anyway 😂

If you all don’t have any symptoms then yes parents bring a bit ott as you can test positive after 10 days

Tho most I know stopped by 12 days

If you do have symptoms after 10 days then avoid them

I think if I were your parents I would be seriously thinking about continuing to provide childcare going forward regardless of the Covid situation. You want to ride roughshod over their concerns arround Covid ( whether you personally agree with those concerns or not is immaterial) just so they continue to provide you with free childcare. It isn’t their job to facilitate you and your DH being able to go to work, that’s on you. The fact that your DS is only on day 5 and you are trying to guilt them into it is a bit off. I’ve been a single mum ( no support whatsoever from the dad) and my mum did childcare for me part-time for a while so I get the pressure but I never expected my mum to to take health risks just to help me out.

@PinkiOcelot dangerous out of date information. Local GP is on another reinfection with covid 6 weeks after their last. Through school kids etc.
I’d be worried that the care home wasn’t protecting my mum by telling everyone not to test for three months, she could be being risked substantially by that.