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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Reservations over Dads new will?

184 replies

MsMiaWallace · 20/03/2022 21:13

After a conversation with my dad this morning he informed me he was renewing his will following a health scare.

My Dad is currently retired, is very comfortable. Mortgage free 3 bed semi, owns a narrowboat & has around £70k if not more in his account.
He has a partner who lives with him.
She basically lives off him, barely works or contributes. This is how it has been since she met him.

I never challenge this as he's happy with the situation & it's his choice.
They've been together around 4 years. Since meeting her he has distanced from us & we were close.

This morning he told me that he is changing his will so although his house would be mine she has to stay at the property until she chooses to leave.
Again his choice however I am concerned that it is a large house. She's in her 60s & will be too big for her to maintain alone therefore I will have to upkeep the property whilst she continues to live there rent free?
I also have my own mortgage to pay, family to look after etc whilst doing this.
He told me I would be the landlord but without the rent.
She also has a son that will likely move in with her who also does not contribute.

I absolutely respect that it's his choice but
AIBU here to have reservations about this situation?

OP posts:
Easterbunnyiswindowshopping · 20/03/2022 21:16

If her ds moved in how does df think they will ever leave? Very naive of him I am afraid.. Suggest he appoints a home management agency. Tell him it sounds more than you wil cope with plus your own life /job /dc..

fallfallfall · 20/03/2022 21:19

Force them to leave when the time comes

Missgemini · 20/03/2022 21:20

It’s his choice really. At least he’s not leaving the lot to her, as many men have done in the past.
You can just clarify with him the terms of the agreement. It needs to be clearly set out what happens when she dies etc. Would her son then need to be evicted?
Again, it is your father’s choice alone.

NeedleNoodle3 · 20/03/2022 21:24

It could be worse, he’s hasn’t married her…yet.

Original poster
MsMiaWallace · 20/03/2022 21:24

It sounds bitter but she has really fallen on her feet.

OP posts:
Original poster
MsMiaWallace · 20/03/2022 21:25

Dependant upon Will wording I assume we could move into the property too as it would be my house.

OP posts:
Howtohelp1234 · 20/03/2022 21:28

This exact same thing happened to my friend. Her dad died and his partner is now living in the house with her new boyfriend. My friend is liable for all the repairs, is living in rented accommodation herself and struggling to meet the costs. I don’t know the full details of his will but I’m pretty sure she can’t sell the house even if she wanted to.

Quartz2208 · 20/03/2022 21:30

I will have to upkeep the property whilst she continues to live there rent free?

I think you need to point this out to him. That said it shouldnt be the case

www.lexisnexis.co.uk/legal/guidance/a-will-creates-a-life-interest-trust-the-life-tenant-shall-have-the-right-to-remain-in-the-deceaseds

You cant read all of this but I think you need to state to your Dad you are happy with this but he needs to set up the terms of the trust so that his partner is responsible for bills and is liable to keep the house in that state that it was.

I think here you need to both get the correct legal advice to set up the trust (because you will be a trustee) with terms that you are happy with and means you are not disadvantaged by this

NeedleNoodle3 · 20/03/2022 21:31

Try not to think about it, there’s nothing you can do. I assume your dad’s partner will care for your dad if he needs it when he’s older if they are still together.

GreenClock · 20/03/2022 21:34

She sounds like a sponger.

Will you be inheriting the £70k and the boat? If so you will be able to afford necessary repairs etc although it’ll be a nuisance, acting as landlord without the rental income.

Could you persuade your dad to allow her a specified time there rather than a lifetime interest?

Original poster
MsMiaWallace · 20/03/2022 21:37

No she gets the boat.
He said I will get some money (didn't tell me amount) & she will 'get plenty to keep her going' in his words.

OP posts:
Original poster
MsMiaWallace · 20/03/2022 21:39

Narrowboats probably worth 30-40k

OP posts:
NeedleNoodle3 · 20/03/2022 21:42

I guess you have 2 options

  1. Put up with being a landlord and upkeep etc and then inherit the house
  2. Tell your dad you don’t want the house and his partner inherits it.
FairyCakeWings · 20/03/2022 21:54

Tell him you won’t be able to afford to be her ‘landlord’. If he loves her and they have a good relationship then it’s fair enough if he wants her to be able to live out her life in the house before you inherit it, but she will have to be able to pay for any maintenance that’s needed.

Tidlo · 20/03/2022 22:00

Ask for the exact wording of what this arrangement is legally called. There isn't a situation in which you would be her landlord but she is entitled to stay there rent free. I think he is setting up a life interest trust or nil rate band trust. Different provisions and different legal implications.

SandlakeRd · 20/03/2022 22:06

My DH is in the situation with his step mum. However she is responsible for all repairs etc. He will simply get the house when she dies. His dad’s house was actually sold and she bought a bungalow. This ended up being the same price as the house sold but if there had been money left over then apparently it would have been invested in the trust’s name or with step mum’s agreement it would have come to him.

It has been very amicable but can see how it has the potential to go wrong. As PP said you both need proper legal advice.

Original poster
MsMiaWallace · 20/03/2022 22:10

He didn't state it's until she dies. It's until she wants to leave.

OP posts:
HollowTalk · 20/03/2022 22:12

Well she never is going to leave, is she, because if she does she'll have to pay rent somewhere else. I think his £70,000 should be put in account managed by you and used solely for repairs to the house. Obviously things like furniture that need replacing would have to be bought by her.

SandlakeRd · 20/03/2022 22:14

That might be when she dies though? A good solicitor will talk him through all the issues. Although if he does nothing at all about it or tried to DIY his will and messes it up then I guess the house would come directly to you although she could challenge it?

Original poster
MsMiaWallace · 20/03/2022 22:15

I believe upon speaking to a solicitor he will go with the life interest trust.
Would I still have to pay maintenance at the property?

OP posts:
Kitkat151 · 20/03/2022 22:16

She’s not going to leave ....why would she....it’s free rent and upkeep....she could have another 20 odd years there until she either dies or needs residential care...or longer😳

KylieKoKo · 20/03/2022 22:19

It's your dad's house so ultimately it's up to him what he does with it. You could talk to him but he might decide to just leave it to her.

godmum56 · 20/03/2022 22:21

Have you mentioned to him who is responsible for upkeep/buildings insurance/repairs? I have seen circs like this from the outside when i worked in the NHS. Surviving spouse/partner is left with a life interest but no explicit responsibility or funds left for upkeep to anybody. House falls apart and family rows are immense.

RandomMess · 20/03/2022 22:22

I would ask your Dad if you can discuss the details of how her living in the house works in terms of maintenance etc. Perhaps that she needs to pay small monthly rent just so it gets maintained etc other wise he is leaving you with a millstone rather than an asset.

Thanks
kitkat6 · 20/03/2022 22:24

Sounds like a life interest trust of property trust with right to reside.

The wording would normally be that the life tenant is responsible for maintenance and paying bills.