Reservations over Dads new will?

[MsMiaWallace]

After a conversation with my dad this morning he informed me he was renewing his will following a health scare.

My Dad is currently retired, is very comfortable. Mortgage free 3 bed semi, owns a narrowboat & has around £70k if not more in his account.
He has a partner who lives with him.
She basically lives off him, barely works or contributes. This is how it has been since she met him.

I never challenge this as he's happy with the situation & it's his choice.
They've been together around 4 years. Since meeting her he has distanced from us & we were close.

This morning he told me that he is changing his will so although his house would be mine she has to stay at the property until she chooses to leave.
Again his choice however I am concerned that it is a large house. She's in her 60s & will be too big for her to maintain alone therefore I will have to upkeep the property whilst she continues to live there rent free?
I also have my own mortgage to pay, family to look after etc whilst doing this.
He told me I would be the landlord but without the rent.
She also has a son that will likely move in with her who also does not contribute.

I absolutely respect that it's his choice but
AIBU here to have reservations about this situation?

@Quartz2208 have you read the full thread?
The op doesn't have to do this.

She doesn't have to do anything.
She can refuse the inheritance

And yes I can say that because I don't think anyone has any right to inheritance.

More than that I find people who EXPECT money or assets from their parents - & are annoyed that their parents find love or move on or spend their own money - somewhat repulsive.

But I found grabby less offensive.
Love is not the premise of the young.

Sadly some of these posters have also lost a parent. It's very sad but death ends a marriage.

Wonderfully they have found new loves & respectfully both men want to make sure that their partners are cared for if they live longer.
The dads sound totally lovely.

I cannot for the life of me fathom not celebrating that.

If OP doesn't want the 'responsibility or issues' she can refuse the 'delayed-inheritance' and all it's associated problems.

@beachcitygirl yes I have posted from the start. And if you have been reading from the start will see that the OP's issue is that she would like some assurances from her father than his plan will be implemented sensibly and with a way of ensuring that his partner can maintain the house rather than it being her responsibility.

Which is not grabby. I watched Greg Wise on Loose Women today (dont judge) and he said that our inability to deal with the fact that we are going to die means that important discussions as to how things should be handled simply aren't done. It shouldn't be seen as grabby making sure that everything is in order for when you die - it is sensible. If it is her father and his partner wishes that she lives in the house if he dies and support herself.

As I said would you be happy if your Mum expected you to support her partner when she died - because that is the matter. Not that someone has fallen in love

@Quartz2208 Nope. I wouldn't support mums partner.
I would find that responsibility stressful, so I would refuse the delayed inheritance & tell her to spend her money or leave it to her partner. 🤷🏻‍♀️

[quote beachcitygirl]@Quartz2208 Nope. I wouldn't support mums partner.
I would find that responsibility stressful, so I would refuse the delayed inheritance & tell her to spend her money or leave it to her partner. 🤷🏻‍♀️[/quote]
Rather than try to see if there was a workable solution to it all? Because that is the point here. Done properly with the amount of savings etc the father has (plus the benefits etc the partner would get) there is a solution that works.

Which is what the OP needs to communicate effectively with her father to make sure that is achieved.

@beachcitygirl i encouraged my mum to spend all her money before she died. She wouldn’t! And then she got into her 80’s and couldn’t due to mobility issues. She just got too old to travel.

we don’t need her money, in fact she stayed with us completely free of charge when my dad died. We paid for numerous holidays for her, even though she had plenty of money. We are very generous (she was a bit stingy tbh). However, if she had “fallen in love” with a new man that needed to rely on her cash to house him and meet his financial needs, I would have been concerned that the new love was a bit of a cocklodger.

if new love had paid halfies for trips to bondi beach, Paris or skiing in zermatt that would have been a wonderful end to a life well lived. However if new love had expected mum to fund all this, I would have been 🙄

and if she had decided to leave her house, boat and cash to new love I would have been gutted. And my dad would have been turning in his grave!

I don’t think you can say I’m “grabby”. And I don’t think op or other pps are either. Probably more concerned that their elderly parents are being taken for a ride. Not nice to see!

Assuming DF’s partner lives 23 years (I think she’s 60) and that she and the DS (and any others partners or friends who also want to move in)pay nothing towards the house, I think you might be better to ask for the houseboat and give the DP the house. You’d get 35,000 in your hand now instead of say 300,000 in 2046, minus any costs it has incurred.

What would happen if he needs to pay care home fees. He probably needs to marry DP so that he isn’t forced to sell the house for fees and she is allowed to stay there.

Zombie thread

Oops 😬 sorry