Reservations over Dads new will?

[MsMiaWallace]

After a conversation with my dad this morning he informed me he was renewing his will following a health scare.

My Dad is currently retired, is very comfortable. Mortgage free 3 bed semi, owns a narrowboat & has around £70k if not more in his account.
He has a partner who lives with him.
She basically lives off him, barely works or contributes. This is how it has been since she met him.

I never challenge this as he's happy with the situation & it's his choice.
They've been together around 4 years. Since meeting her he has distanced from us & we were close.

This morning he told me that he is changing his will so although his house would be mine she has to stay at the property until she chooses to leave.
Again his choice however I am concerned that it is a large house. She's in her 60s & will be too big for her to maintain alone therefore I will have to upkeep the property whilst she continues to live there rent free?
I also have my own mortgage to pay, family to look after etc whilst doing this.
He told me I would be the landlord but without the rent.
She also has a son that will likely move in with her who also does not contribute.

I absolutely respect that it's his choice but
AIBU here to have reservations about this situation?

What do you think he should do?kick her out of her home when he dies?

I do think it needs to be worded better. Eg. She has the right to live there until death but pay you rent (so you can cover maintaince etc )

No clearly I don't think he should kick her out

What if you asked to inherit the narrow boat instead & his gf can inherit the house? If she has to sell it to buy somewhere smaller (free up cash for home maintenance) then so be it. She'd have a lot of security and you're not tied to her decisions going forward.

My grandmother's home was put in a similar situation where my aunt can live there as long as aunt wants. I'm not sure about income for maintenance, but something has been arranged between aunt's & her 5 siblings, as they all will benefit when property is eventually sold. This decision still caused a lot of friction within a very close set of siblings, even though aunt is probably the most popular & poorest sibling in the group.

It's interesting re this - DM owns her house (paid mortgage off by herself) with stepdad, he's been with her 40 years or more but not married.

But stepdad is 10 years younger than DM and also has a property that was jointly owned with DM but when it was sold he got profits and are in savings. They also have a holiday home in SW France, jointly owned.

When DM dies (in her will) the house is to be sold and profits split 3 ways, between me, DB and stepdad. OK it's stepdad's home but she wants us both to have benefits of the profits. If he wanted to buy us out he could but it's a big house for 1 person.

@AllOfUsAreDead

Jesus can't believe some people on here. 'she's been a big part of his life for 4 years?'. Yes I'm sure it was very difficult for her, not working not contributing and spending someone else's money.

Op is his daughter?! She's been a bigger part of his life from a lot longer, maybe like 4 DECADES. And this is how he treats his daughter for some moronic woman who can't provide for herself so leeches off other people? I suppose the ones saying you are being grabby op do the same thing. I'd ignore them.

I'd tell my dad he can do that if he wishes but I won't be paying any bills for her, or maintenance. If she wants to live there, she can pretend it's hers until she dies, then I turf the idiot son out and sell it.

I can't believe some parents. Willing to do this to their children for some twit that refuses to work and leeches off people. I bet when he becomes frail she'll say its too hard for her and either get op to care for him or send him to a home. Then she'll bring in her next arm candy to leech off.

She doesn't need to pretend it's hers until she dies, it is hers until she dies if she chooses to live there.

She is the life tenant, the OP has no need to pay for maintenance etc, until the other woman dies she is responsible.

Her father is of sound mind, so he can make this decision with his estate. It is very common for this to be the case when second partners are in the picture.

It is irrelevant who has know the DF longer, it's not about that.

And no, I am not living with a man as a second partner, I am married to my first husband and completely self sufficient and would be if he passed away. So stop with those ridiculous comments, it just shows your ignorance. OP can ignore everyone if she wants, but the facts remain that her father has made a decision to arrange a life interest trust, his money, his house, his choice.

The reason a life interest trust exists, is because of these exact situation.

You have a very low opinion of this woman maybe she will nurse him during the last years of his life, maybe she will have years of him being disabled and her needing to nurse her.

Is OPs DF happy, if he is then that's all that matters really, not who pays for what.

In OP's case - the partner has been there 4 years which isn't long really, and if she's planning on moving her son in then she does seem to be a bit of a user.

However, her DF can do what he likes with the house.

You would have to take out buildings insurance on the house. I have an apartment that I rent out and there is a lot involved. I don't know how it would work legally if it's been forced on you. Things like landlords insurance, all the various safety checks. If it's furnished are you responsible for repairs and maintenance?

As my apartment is fully furnished I have to allow for repairing/replacing all the appliances, replacing carpets and furniture when needed.

How does all this work if there is no income, I think you need legal advice of your own. Can you imagine having to replace the boiler on the place!

I don't even know if he is doing a life interest trust.
As he said it will be hers to live in until she chooses to leave.

I think it puts you in a very difficult position! Depending on whether it says she must have sole occupancy after his death, I would move in with my children and rest my own house out. Obviously she is welcome to live there as long as she wants to but you will be living there as well.

@MsMiaWallace

No clearly I don't think he should kick her out

What is your solution then?

This sounds like a nightmare to me. Personally l wouldn’t want to enter into this as it sounds stressful and fraught with issues. The boiler dies whilst OP is on holiday or sick, how is she supposed to sort it. Suppose she doesn’t have the money for a new boiler? Suppose OP wants one boiler but fathers girlfriend wants another one which happens to be 50% more expensive? That’s even before you get onto tax implications etc

How did this women fund her life before she met OP’s father?! All of her Christmas’s must have come at once!

@MsMiaWallace

I feel for you in this situation and don’t think you are coming across as grabby at all. You just want to know that it’s all ironed out and everything that’s in place is there to protect you both.

We have the same issue with my dad, except he married her. She’s actually lovely but I can’t say the same for her family.

My dad won’t talk to us at all about his will so we have no idea what he has in it. I hope to god he either spends it before he dies or just leaves it all to her so we don’t have the hassle.

I’d never forgive him if he saddled me with a load of cost just so I could potentially inherit a worthless house. If this happed I’d be doing as others have said and rejecting the inheritance (which was not something I realised could be done before this thread!)

DF's partner rented a property & worked full time before.
Now she doesn't.

Some of the responses on here are awful. OP should move into the woman's home with her family?

OP's father isn't disinheriting her or choosing to leave everything to the woman he lives with. He's proposing a solution that enables the woman he lives with and shares his life with to remain in her home in the event of his death. That sounds to me like the actions of a caring person who is thinking of all involved. He might be with her for another 10 or 20 years. He's not proposing to leave everything to her not his daughter.

My friend's dad did something similar but he was married to the step mum. When he died she could live there until she died but the maintenance and some insurances had to be paid by my friend and her sister.
Long story short, dreadful time, both the grown up children lived miles away and although originally they got on fine with the step mum, when her son got involved and started demanding this, that and the other things got very awkward.
I would advise your dad to ensure that funds are separate with a condition that a certain amount of money is put aside to maintain the house, insurance is paid by you from the fund (so you know it's paid) and a condition in the will that only she has the right to live there.
It took years for my friend and her sister to sort things out, even after the step mum went into long term care. If I remember rightly they had to rent the house out and use the funds to pay for her care home fees, as their dad hadn't put in his will that the house could be sold if she went into care, only if she died.

Perhaps as your father is retired he doesn't want his partner to work if he is able to support her as he wants her company in retirement? Life is short. It's not for us to judge how others live their lives and spend their own money.

@Juno22

Some of the responses on here are awful. OP should move into the woman's home with her family?

OP's father isn't disinheriting her or choosing to leave everything to the woman he lives with. He's proposing a solution that enables the woman he lives with and shares his life with to remain in her home in the event of his death. That sounds to me like the actions of a caring person who is thinking of all involved. He might be with her for another 10 or 20 years. He's not proposing to leave everything to her not his daughter.

The op can't do that legally. The trust won't pass it to her until his partner either moves out or dies. The op should perhaps have posted in legal matters rather than AIBU then she could have got proper legal advice rather than uneducated speculation. But then she wouldn't have got all the drama.

If done properly and a life interest trust drawn up alongside a plan to have some income (presumably from his savings) available to the trustee (the OP) in order to maintain it is a perfectly viable legal solution to the problem

Care is another thing that needs to be sorted - what happens if she needs to go into care. Or indeed if he needs to go into care.

There is nothing to say that the OPs father isnt doing all of this - and if he is doing it via a solicitor than they should be.

What the OP needs to do is to say to her father that if she is going to be trustee she needs to know exactly how it works including funds being set aside to deal with insurance and maintenance.

I don't think YABU. I would want my DF to clarify exactly what is meant by "landlord without the rent". If he means that you'll own the house, they'll be no rent paid, but you will be financially responsible for upkeep and maintenance, I wouldn't be happy, and would most likely decline this. I can't imagine that he is expecting you to pay bills as well is he?

If he wants her to remain there for as long as she wants or until her death, and she's responsible for all bills and upkeep etc, and then the house goes to you, that's fine.

But you really need to get him to answer this. I wouldn't care about her living there, but I sure as hell wouldn't want to be connected to her in any way, shape or form after DF's passing.

If OP rejected the will I wonder what the gf would live on - houses require maintenance

From google
o you have to pay inheritance tax if you own a house?*
*
There’s no Inheritance Tax to pay if you do this. If you leave the home to another person in your will, it counts towards the value of the estate. If you own your home (or a share in it) your tax-free threshold can increase to £500,000 if: There’s normally no Inheritance Tax to pay if you move out and live for another 7 years.

I think that means OP could be liable depending on DFs estate

@HELLITHURT

How do you know op won't get lumbered with the costs? She thinks she will, she knows this woman better than us, what if the woman trashes the place? Ops dad is potentially leaving her with a ton of repair work to do or bills to pay to avoid getting into debt because someone else won't pay them. And it will be ops name on the house, not this woman's. With no rental agreement. Sounds like an absolute nightmare for the op.

You are self sufficient, this woman isn't. That's the difference, she has found a man with assets, got in there quick and now probably convinced him she needs security. Just like another thread a week ago from a man who said his girlfriend wanted to be left his house instead of him leaving it to his daughter. There are money/asset grabbing women out there, and op doesn't think much of her. Considering she knows her, I'll trust her opinion. He's distanced himself from his family since meeting this woman too, she couldn't have more red flags if she tried.

[quote AllOfUsAreDead]@HELLITHURT

How do you know op won't get lumbered with the costs? She thinks she will, she knows this woman better than us, what if the woman trashes the place? Ops dad is potentially leaving her with a ton of repair work to do or bills to pay to avoid getting into debt because someone else won't pay them. And it will be ops name on the house, not this woman's. With no rental agreement. Sounds like an absolute nightmare for the op.

You are self sufficient, this woman isn't. That's the difference, she has found a man with assets, got in there quick and now probably convinced him she needs security. Just like another thread a week ago from a man who said his girlfriend wanted to be left his house instead of him leaving it to his daughter. There are money/asset grabbing women out there, and op doesn't think much of her. Considering she knows her, I'll trust her opinion. He's distanced himself from his family since meeting this woman too, she couldn't have more red flags if she tried.[/quote]
It isnt about her Dads partner though.

All of this should be covered in the trust set up - including having the savings with which to do so. The OP should be talking to her Dad about how it going to work with her as trustee and the powers that she has.

She is right to have reservations based on what her father has told her so far. That said she should be able to sit down with him and solicitor and clearly create a trust that fits what her Dad wants and doesnt have her losing money - including having clauses to cover what happens in certain situations and what can trigger clauses to give her powers to sell etc and to cover the tax implications as well.

It is not hard for a decent solicitor to create a will that covers all of this and makes sure that the OP interests are protected and her Dads partner can stay there.

What is concerning is his unwillingness to discuss and I wouldnt want to take this on without proper communication and seeing the terms of the trust/will

I would be extremely cautious, and insist on being included in the setting up of the trust. It can go badly wrong.

One of my mother’s work colleague was married to a much older man (he died in his 80s, when she was in her early 50s). He left her a life interest in the house, with his sons responsible for all utility bills and maintenance. They took her to court to try to get her to pay a share of the maintenance costs, lost, and from then on she was very vindictive, turning the heat on in summer and opening all the windows etc to drive up the bills, getting a new boiler, new kitchen, new bathroom etc, to try to cost them as much as possible. I don’t know how it ended as my mum retired, but it has convinced me that these arrangements can be horribly abused if the person with the life interest chooses.

I’m not sure what options you will have if your father insists on going ahead without putting in place proper plans for meeting the costs - in the case I’m talking about, the husband obviously cherished his wife and wanted her fully taken care of as he would have done, and that is not really a realistic expectation of how your grown up children are likely to feel about a stepmother they barely know.

But once the trust is set up, the option is either to spend a lot of money keeping your stepmother in the lap of luxury, or give up the house in the future and hand it to this woman’s son to inherit. Neither are great options really are they?

@Quartz2208 who said she was a trustee? It is not her place to sit down with a solicitor and her father, it is his money and he can do whatever he sees fit.