to think this shouldn't be normalised?

[ChristinaRussell]

I came across this Blind Date column in The Guardian from a couple of weeks ago: www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2022/mar/05/blind-date-sam-jenn

Apparently ordering 4 shots before you even sit down to dinner means you're great fun. AIBU to think it actually means you might have a bit of a problem? I get so fed up with heavy drinking being equated with having a good personality and a good time, and if you don't want to get hammered you must be really dull.

For context, I do drink alcohol, but I don't particularly like being drunk, and I LOATHE hangovers - I really don't think that (for me) they are worth the night before.

I'm trying very hard not to come across as po-faced, and honestly, each to their own, but I know that some people I've come across in my life have thought I'm incredibly boring because I prefer not to get rat-arsed. I think, generally speaking, that this is a prevalent attitude in our society and it shouldn't be.

I'm now donning my hard hat in preparation for being told how boring and judgemental I am

I do think there’s a bit of a thing these days that you are seen as a bit dull if you dont go out and get absolutely plastered. I love a drink but know my limits before I feel like shit but it seems a lot don’t

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon

I don’t drink. It reacts with my medication and makes me feel shite. But I don’t tell people that, it’s my business. So I just get told I’m boring.

I’m rewatching Phil & Kirstie’s Live Or List It (we’re doing stuff to the house and wanted decorating programs) and EVERY
property search Phil Spencer is like, ‘It’s opposite/down the road/above a pub! What more could you ask for?’

I used to have a colleague who’d spend the whole day talking about when she goes home to have a ‘Grey Goose’ (I think vodka). Like, all day. ‘I can’t wait to go home and pour myself a drink.’ All day.

Makes me wonder how common it is to spend the evening drinking.

We play Place in the Sun bingo. The obligatory balcony/ solarium phrase is 'I can see myself enjoying a nice glass of wine out here'. Big garden? 'Space out here for a bar.'

In this situation YABU but I agree that we have an issue in this country with alcohol and how people view you differently if you don’t drink and definitely view you as a bore or not normal.

@ChristinaRussell I don't understand why you are comparing yourself to others or perceive others find you boring for not drinking and get upset by that.

I drink sometimes and sometimes I don't. It is entirely my choice. Within reason - I don't want to murder anyone, walk down the street naked or even piss in my neighbour's garden while pissed - I don't want to live in a place where the things I do are limited by what other people think of me.

I realise you are probably younger than me but I am assuming you are not 15 which is when we ought to be growing out of doing things just because other people are doing them or worry about what people think of us if we don't.

The only thing that would bother me about that girl drinking four tequilas on an empty stomach would be if she was sick on me in the toilets. That has happened and it was red wine and diced carrots (it's always diced carrots) and it was in my hair and my ear as well as on my nice jacket. But apart from that and meeting drunk drivers on the roads (far fewer young people drive these days than when I was 20-30) other people's drinking habits don't affect me overmuch. Why do they affect you?

@PurpleCarpets

I wouldn't say four shots is a huge amount before dinner on a big night out (and I don't drink). I think you're being a bit po-faced.

Agree with you.

@limitedperiodonly I'm 57, how old are you?

It doesn't 'upset' me, and of course other people can do what they want, but I do feel judged, and who wants that? As I've got older I care less & less what people think of me, and have the confidence to be myself. I find it irritating to be laughed at though, for preferring to do something that isn't seen as 'cool'.

(By the way, when I was about 16/17, I was the only one in a group of people who hadn't taken acid on this particular night - we were all at someone's parents' house. Nobody berated me, and I don't remember being pushed to join in. They were all as mad as bats, though, that night . It was pretty funny )

I kind of think recreational drinking is worse than the occasional night out session. People who have a bottle of wine a night to ‘unwind’ are using it as a prop and it can’t be great for their health.

@dipdye

Shots are so 90s aren't they?

This must be why I can regularly be heard saying “let’s do shots” on a night out. Even better if it’s Aftershock !

In UK tv dramas, especially thrillers, characters always get in from work and put themselves huge glasses of wine in massive, statement wine glasses. I’d be sick as a dog if I drank that much alcohol before eating

But what does 'going to miami' mean ???

He probably has bad breath. If you’re stuck on a date with someone tedious or smelly getting drunk is the only option.

@the80sweregreat
Drinking culture is seen as normal these days but I would be a bit ' hmm' if I were on a blind date and the other person ordered so much alcohol , but then I'm old and can't drink much anymore!

You obviously really have forgotten the 80s/90s "these days""
omg EVERYONE used to drink a few before dates /going out on the pull it is no different now.

Just more opportunities to be judgemental with SM

I did drink a lot in the 80s ! I would just be wary these days now I'm older.
I am not anti drinking at all , but I just think people tend to lean on it more these days .
Life is shit , I do get this, but I suppose as you age you realize there is more to life than getting drunk all the time or drinking too much !
Just my opinion though

I don't know that is it normalised. For every 'I drank some shots before having a date with an idiot and getting judged all over the media and social media for it' there will be another 'eat healthy; drink green; dry January' etc. article.

It is unfortunate that you tagged it to The Guardian article because he's not only judging her drinking. He's judging her drinking because she's a woman and I think it's bad enough the paper chose that as the headline without her being dragged into a MN 'debate' about alcohol consumption.

@frostedfruit

But what does 'going to miami' mean ???

i think it was that she thought it was on west coast? It is on east coast?(I think!)

My initial thoughts were she must have been very nervous, party girl didn't cross my mind.
Reading it, I think he's trying to be self deprecating about himself. The go hard or go home, I read as a reference to him being boring, same for the drink.
Agree with rest of thread about drinking, people that think they are great fun, or interesting because they are drunk, are usually far from it.

Meh, the thing that struck me about that article was they had a brilliant time together and snogged, but then he gave her a six and put her in the friend zone. What a twat. Sounded like they would have a riot dating. Assume he'd rather have a boring skinny girl.

He's judging her drinking because she's a woman

Yep.

If I went on a first date with some who downed four shots in succession before we’d even been seated to eat, I’d judge the fuck out of them whether they were a man on woman. In fact, I’d leave.

Well put @MotherOfCrocodiles. I was thinking similar.

Anyone on MN who has more than a small sherry on Xmas day has a 'problem' 🙄

Nonsense.

@Thoosa

If I went on a first date with some who downed four shots in succession before we’d even been seated to eat, I’d judge the fuck out of them whether they were a man on woman. In fact, I’d leave.

Would you judge them if they 'downed' a couple of pints/g&ts or a cocktail before dinner?

IT SAYS SHE ORDERED FOUR SHOTS IT DOESNT SAY SHE DRANK ALL FOUR, TWO WERE PROBABLY FOR HIM

Feel I need to shout this for those in the back

Completely agree with you OP. It seem to be the norm here that you have to drink to have fun. I have alcohol allergy and really struggled in my old workplace as every social activity we had was centred around drinking!!