35 and denied alcohol

[antisocialsocialclub]

Bit of a light hearted one but I am actually annoyed.

Also this isn’t a stealth boast or humble brag at all, because I didn’t come out of this feeling in any way flattered or superior 🤣

I’m 35. I’d like to set the scene by saying I look my age, maybe on a good day I look 30. No way do I look like I’m in my 20s. I definitely look old enough to drink. I have several fine lines and the face a woman of my age has just from existing.

Having a few friends around tonight so just popped out to the shop to get some snacks and a bit of alcohol. I went with DH.

We were at the conveyor belt and the cashier was putting the food through. Then she paused at the alcohol. She looked at DH and then at me and said to me “do you have ID?” I just laughed then realised she was serious. I said I had nothing on me, DH showed his but the cashier said ‘sorry I can’t serve you as I can’t be sure you won’t give the alcohol to points at me’

I laughed and said ‘I’m 35!’ but she wouldn’t budge. I considered asking for the manager but wimped out. Didn’t fancy making a scene for the same outcome.

To cut a long story short, DH had to leave the alcohol because his ‘child bride’ 🤣 left her wallet at home. I actually felt a bit awkward that she thought my 42 year old DH (greying hair and all) was with an under 25 year old. Or did she think I was some street child forcing DH to buy me booze 😊

I know cashiers need to check, I know it’s the law and it’s hard for them etc etc but 1. wow, if she thought I was under 25 I must have had a hard life and 2. I just don’t understand the logic in this situation.

DH was buying the alcohol I was just gormlessly stood with him. What if a parent goes shopping with their underage child and wants to buy a bottle of wine? What they’re saying is you can’t buy alcohol unless everyone accompanying you has ID to confirm legal age?!

I think it’s madness. AIBU?

Also DH has just popped to another shop to get it and I decided I’d stay in the car like a naughty dog 😭 I’m 35!

Yeah, it’s ridiculous. Worked checkouts and we were told we have to ask and we have no discretion in the matter, and if we did sell to an underage person it’s instant dismissal. Then one time I did ID a young looking 30-something and my manager had a go at me about it, told me to use common sense. Checkout staff can’t win.

Now I’m 35 and I don’t routinely carry ID, as all I have is my passport. I have found a big smile and an ‘OMG, thank you! You’ve just made my day!’ to the cashier often does the trick.

Theres children in my DDs Yr6 class talking than me.. (5ft7, so I'm not exactly short). I do wonder at what age parents stop being able to buy alcohol if their children are present...

I completely agree with the ID checks for purchasers BTW. But not their companions.

It is annoying but given the penalty if they get it wrong, I can understand why they take such care.

Not quite as extreme but I was denied matches at Tesco because I didn't have ID. You have to be 16 to buy matches. I was 27 with a trolley full of cat litter and baby formula!! I just wanted a BBQ...

I also distinctly remember being 16 out with mates at the cinema and one of our friends was grilled to within an inch of her life because she didn't have ID when the film in question was a 12! Granted, she was quite short and slim for 16 but she hardly looked prepubescent!

I'm older than you by a decade and got ID'ed in December at a supermarket. I walk around with my driving license as in the past I have had to pick up a lot of parcels.

Now I’m 35 and I don’t routinely carry ID, as all I have is my passport. I have found a big smile and an ‘OMG, thank you! You’ve just made my day!’ to the cashier often does the trick.

Ah I realise it’s hard but I just find it odd she wouldn’t serve DH when he had ID, just because I was with him. That seems crazy to me.

Also, I wish I felt flattered but I felt like someone being turned away from a posh club as I have trainers on 🤣 I stunned to be honest and wondering what it was about me that looked so child like ☺️ (I’m used to them pushing the ‘clearly over 25 button’ at the self serves!

A 52 year old friend was ID'd for wine the other week, she was delighted!

I once got asked for ID for a weekend newspaper, back in the days when they gave away a DVD with the supplement. The film was an 18. I didn't actually want the DVD and asked them to keep it and just give me the paper, but no deal. I was about 29 at the time .

My husband was asked for ID at Disney in Florida when getting a beer - he was 53 at the time! Fortunately being ex AF he carried ID at all times so he just showed it and told the bartender she was permanently on his Christmas card list. She was a trainee. Her manager overheard and laughed his head off.

But seriously, it is so frustrating. There needs to be a balance between safety and common sense. I am so lucky my hair is fully grey and I totally look my age.

Yes I had this the other day. I tried to buy a bottle of gin as a gift for a friend in sainsburys. Got asked for ID. I thought she was joking. She bloody wasn’t. I was 40 not long ago. I definitely don’t look like a child. I was so pissed off. Absolutely ridiculous. As pp said, use your common sense.

Maybe I should have been delighted It was the awkwardness of having to leave the alcohol and feeling like a naughty child I think.

I don’t think I’d mind so much if I was buying it and was IDed but DH was buying it, I was just with him.

What I’m trying to say, badly, is, isn’t it weird to also ID the companions of the purchaser?

I'm 26 so it feels like a punch to the gut when they press the 'clearly over 25' button

I went to a gig with a friend a few weeks back. She laughed when I got ID'd. I laughed when she didn't!

I think I look my age (mid 30) but I clearly don't because I get asked for ID regularly and I absolutely fucking love it!!!

I tell the cashier how much I love them 🤣

Ive had this happen to me but I'm 25, when I very rarely buy alcohol and I know I don't have ID, I somehow make a comment about how I've left the kids in the car or I'm drinking this to de-stress from the kids and it ALWAYS seems to do the trick 🤣

Tip though, I had to buy knifes from Waitrose yesterday and thankfully I had a scan of my passport on my phone so I always have age verification on me :)

She probably just wasn't thinking but I think that once they've asked you for id if you don't have it they can't sell it to you.

I've been Id'd as old as 40! Stupid because I didn't look younger.

More recently I was with my dd (age 23) and they made her get out id despite the fact I was paying, she looks old for her age.

However at the pub none of the DD's get id'd ever, even before 18 not even the youngest who despite being 21 looks about 14.

I just find it odd she wouldn’t serve DH when he had ID, just because I was with him

even better was the person who posted on here a few years ago that her dad couldn't buy paracetamol because she was with him and didn't have ID. She was 19. So how do you buy Calpol for kids, then.

The rules are ridiculous and completely overinterpreted.

isn’t it weird to also ID the companions of the purchaser yes in your context and the context I mentioned.

And when people are shopping with their young kids and aren't allowed alcohol with a trolley load of household food!

But the actual reason for that rule is to stop an 18 year old buying it for their friends. However, it doesn't seem to be an issue in Germany - a few years ago I was in Aldi and the girl in front of us bought cigarettes. She didn't have ID, but her friend did so the cashier let the friend buy them [shrugs]

@IncompleteSenten

She probably just wasn't thinking but I think that once they've asked you for id if you don't have it they can't sell it to you.

Yes I thought that. But I wasn’t buying it, DH was and he had ID. Very odd 🤔

When I was a teenager my dad was buying my sister - who was 16/17 - alcohol for a party and the woman stacking the shelves heard her saying what she wanted and went and grassed them up to the cashier 😂

thankfully I had a scan of my passport on my phone so I always have age verification on me

I'm surprised they accept a scan.

Waitrose are another level though. They put under 18s to serve on the cigarette counter...you go there to buy age-restricted items, so you want someone over 18 on there to sell them! not to have to hang around for ages while the supervisor chats with their colleagues (partners) before coming over to press a button. When I commented the girl said "well I can sell lottery tickets" (not anymore)

I've had this twice in my late 30's/early 40's in my local supermarket. Both times buying one or two bottles of wine as part of a weekly shop......cos classic underage drinkers spend £80 and buy organic chicken and frozen peas as a cover up ;) If I hadn't been in a rush the second time I'd have walked out and left my shopping on the check out. It's ridiculous and a guy in front of me once who must have been at least 50 had it happen to him as well. He asked to see the manager as it wasn't the first time it had happened to him either. The manager said they had to stand by the decision made by their staff.

They can't sell it if you're with someone who has no id once asked for I believe. It doesn't have to be you buying.

@berlinbabylon

I just find it odd she wouldn’t serve DH when he had ID, just because I was with him

even better was the person who posted on here a few years ago that her dad couldn't buy paracetamol because she was with him and didn't have ID. She was 19. So how do you buy Calpol for kids, then.

The rules are ridiculous and completely overinterpreted.

isn’t it weird to also ID the companions of the purchaser yes in your context and the context I mentioned.

And when people are shopping with their young kids and aren't allowed alcohol with a trolley load of household food!

But the actual reason for that rule is to stop an 18 year old buying it for their friends. However, it doesn't seem to be an issue in Germany - a few years ago I was in Aldi and the girl in front of us bought cigarettes. She didn't have ID, but her friend did so the cashier let the friend buy them [shrugs]

The rules are ridiculous and completely overinterpreted.

Yes yes they are! Especially in the paracetamol incident you mention. Loopy!

I have a couple do worse stories!
One I had my driving license on me, but they refused to accept it was me. I had to get the manager as I was shopping for work and needed the stuff. The manager was like ‘of course it’s her!’ Pointless waste of 30 mins of my time!
Another time I was in Tesco with my mum and she bought wine, same thing I can’t sell you this because of her and I took my mask down and the lady said ‘oh right no that’s fine’ and sold us the wine. :( came out feel depressed hahhahaha

It’s classed as a sale by proxy which we can be disciplined for. You were asked for ID and didn’t have any so therefore even if your husband had ID we can not let the sale happen…..obv you use your common sense when it comes to parents with their children but if they thought you were an adult but under 25 they can’t serve you with no ID

My husband got asked for ID in a bar when he was 37, he wasn't particularly young looking and was completely bald on top. 🤷‍♀️

People were going mad about Asda using facial recognition as age verification. I am all for it if it stops these silly situations (although I guess it will get it wrong from time to time and cause other problems).