35 and denied alcohol

[antisocialsocialclub]

Bit of a light hearted one but I am actually annoyed.

Also this isn’t a stealth boast or humble brag at all, because I didn’t come out of this feeling in any way flattered or superior 🤣

I’m 35. I’d like to set the scene by saying I look my age, maybe on a good day I look 30. No way do I look like I’m in my 20s. I definitely look old enough to drink. I have several fine lines and the face a woman of my age has just from existing.

Having a few friends around tonight so just popped out to the shop to get some snacks and a bit of alcohol. I went with DH.

We were at the conveyor belt and the cashier was putting the food through. Then she paused at the alcohol. She looked at DH and then at me and said to me “do you have ID?” I just laughed then realised she was serious. I said I had nothing on me, DH showed his but the cashier said ‘sorry I can’t serve you as I can’t be sure you won’t give the alcohol to points at me’

I laughed and said ‘I’m 35!’ but she wouldn’t budge. I considered asking for the manager but wimped out. Didn’t fancy making a scene for the same outcome.

To cut a long story short, DH had to leave the alcohol because his ‘child bride’ 🤣 left her wallet at home. I actually felt a bit awkward that she thought my 42 year old DH (greying hair and all) was with an under 25 year old. Or did she think I was some street child forcing DH to buy me booze 😊

I know cashiers need to check, I know it’s the law and it’s hard for them etc etc but 1. wow, if she thought I was under 25 I must have had a hard life and 2. I just don’t understand the logic in this situation.

DH was buying the alcohol I was just gormlessly stood with him. What if a parent goes shopping with their underage child and wants to buy a bottle of wine? What they’re saying is you can’t buy alcohol unless everyone accompanying you has ID to confirm legal age?!

I think it’s madness. AIBU?

Also DH has just popped to another shop to get it and I decided I’d stay in the car like a naughty dog 😭 I’m 35!

My local small supermarket sometimes just asks how old you are if you don't have ID on you, and will sell to you if you're over 25. Secret shoppers aren't allowed to lie about their age, so if they're confident you're over 18 (but not sure about 25) they're pragmatic about it.

@JauntyJinty

I'm in my 30s (going to stick to that for now as it won't be true in a few months!) and last summer was ordering drinks at a bar. I was asked for ID so went to get my drivers licence and they said" Oh don't worry, I was only joking!" lucky I've got a sense of humor!

Haha I wonder if that TikTok thing is true, if they just see the 1 at the start of your birth date and realise you’re old enough 🤣 Yes, I was born in the previous century 😭

Oh I completely get it @nettytree but when you're a young teen - probably 12/13 years ago now - you think people are being jobsworths

I'm 50 and I was asked to lower my face mask in Waitrose the other week to check I was over 18. I laughed as I told the similar aged to me cashier that I definitely over 18 as I had a 19 year old DD!

I know they have a job to do but I was part flattered, part bemused.
My DH said she obviously didn't have her glasses on

@Hopeful16

DH and I were in a similar situation when in a supermarket on a camping holiday and had to leave the drink behind as neither of us had ID. I thought it was odd as we were both late 30s and buying a few bottles of real ale type beers - hardly the choice of underage drinkers! Like you, we just felt inconvenienced and daft!

We were trying to buy some ales too! Maybe just holding ale magically dragged you, maybe we are on to the elixir of youth? 🤣

It wasn’t like we had a 5L bottle of white lightning or some alcopops 🤣 (do they even exist anymore? Anyone remember Hooch?)

I was refused once because of my 12 Yr old son being with me.
Asked him for I.D.... he doesn't have any, he's 12! Obviously I don't take our passports to asda lol
A £70 odd full food shop with 1 bottle of pinot (cos we all know kids would pick wine if they were going to drink 🤣)

it should be like America, everyone gets carded whether you look 90 or 19.

De-ages not dragged ☺️

The policy is Think 25, so if you look 25 or under you'll be asked for ID.

A manager would have backed up the cashier on this too, so you wouldn't have got anywhere with that.

I’m 41 and regularly get ID’d, it was almost every time if wearing a mask. I think it’s because I’m chubby, have a spotty forehead (unfortunately) and dress in joggers most of the time!

To the poster who mentioned scanned ID pubs/restaurants do not accept screenshot of a passport or drivers licence. As I found out when I took my 18 year out for an impromptu lunch last Summer and we both fancied a glass of wine. Crazy really as from 16 they can have a glass of wine with a meal in the presence of an adult and she did have electronic ID but they wouldn't budge. Oh well, I enjoyed my glass of wine!

I’m also 35 and got refused a lighter at b and m in January. I had no ID and she wouldn’t budge. I look maybe 28 on a good day. I was half flattered half annoyed- I wanted it for my candles 😂

@antisocialsocialclub I first tried ale at 17. So you never know....

Happened to my friend too, she is mid thirties, married with kids, and she didn't have any ID on her apart from her police badge (she is a detective inspector). She asked 'will this do?' not in a threatening way, but more like 'if I have this I'm clearly not a child'. The youth behind the till turned the colour of a postbox and scanned the items - we made it out the shop and doubled up in hysterical laughter. He will probably be too terrified to come to work again.

I was at a conference at UCLA a few years ago.
UCLA is an undergraduate campus, so because the students are mostly under 21 it's a dry campus yeah right

All the bars within a certain distance of the campus ask for ID regardless of age. They get in massive trouble if they serve under age people, so it's a blanket rule.

We were a group of 5 and the only one with ID was the youngest member of the group; a chap in his 20s. The rest of us were in our 30s, 40s and 50s. Clearly over 21! They would not budge.

After a long day of talks etc I just wanted a gin and tonic.

Take the win of looking under 18 OP!!

I have to say I think it's a bit crazy - me and DP got ID'd a few months ago. I am 56 I defo look my age, he is 46. We were buying Baby Bio! I thought that took the biscuit! I have no idea why you have to be ID'd for Baby Bio, luckily we had driving licenses and just showed them. At which time we were able to complete the purchase.

This has only just stopped happening to me at 45.

Before covid at dhs hospital visits we’d get “and this is your……friend?” or “aww, did your daughter drive you here?” There’s only 12 years between us so he’s not happy about it at all.

My youngest nephews never asked for id.

You can receive a final written warning as a supermarket employee for selling alcohol to someone underage.

I’d rather staff ID anyone who looks 25 or under than receive that level of warning that sits live on their file for a year

Better to ID older people in error than sell to underage in error.

It’s people’s livelihoods and jobs on the line if they get it wrong.

I got ID'd for paracetamol today. I'm 32 with 3 kids and had a full grown up food shop my 60 year old Mum was behind me on the same checkout and was buying gin, I asked the cashier why she didn't ID my Mum too

I’d rather staff ID anyone who looks 25 or under than receive that level of warning that sits live on their file for a year

Better to ID older people in error than sell to underage in error.

It’s people’s livelihoods and jobs on the line if they get it wrong.

None of which makes sense when you are asking a 60yr old (I might look 50 something on a really good day) for id 😡 I don't find it flattering, I find it time wasting and unnecessary.

Just train the staff properly, it's not illegal to buy alcohol at 18 so if someone looks 25ish asking for Id is just complete nonsense.

It's stupid. It's cashiers being paranoid because the government has piled unreasonable penalties on them for getting it wrong.

Also the might give it to you logic is also wrong. It's legal to drink alcohol at home from the age of five. So yes, your partner could give it to you. That bit is supposed to prevent people from buying alcohol for a bunch of kids hanging around outside the shop.

I agree it is frustrating, but the cashier doesn’t choose who to ID. The registers system randomly does a check ID pop up on a selection of sales and the cashier has to check ID and push yes or no for ID before they can proceed to ring up the sale. This is even on self checkout lanes...the computer will randomly choose transactions to check ID on. Say you’re buying lemsip...need to be 25...if selected it will put a check ID window up on screen and the light flash red to call an assistant to check your ID.

So I’ve voted YABU because the cashier had no choice and if you’d called a manager it would have made no difference.

I'm 40 and often get asked for ID. I have a young looking face, but definitely don't look under 25. I always make sure I have my driving license with me now.

Every time I see one of these threads it reminds me of how haggard I must look I don't think I've ever been ID'd in this country. (Absolutely have in the USA but laws are different and the age is older etc)

@nokidshere I agree asking a 60 year old is unnecessary, most 60 year olds clearly look 60

But I still think it’s better for cashiers to be over cautious and the Think 25 policy is correct.